Thursday, December 28, 2006

Unrelated

How did "2 to 4" become "6 to 8"?

I suppose I can make an exception for people flying in from out of town. Dinner Party at the Pad!

Now where'd I put my "Kiss the Chef" apron...

--

I keep talking to others about how you should not expect change to occur overnight, yet I'm guilty of doing the same. I suppose what I should be preaching is that only expecting change does very little to enact change. If you want the change to happen, you should be proactive about it; meet it head on.
-- Posted May 2, 2005
Different context, same sentiment. I'm tired trying to be proactive, can't you do it just this once?

*ring* *ring*

. . .

Sure. Why not? =D

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Brain... umm... ear fluid leakage

EPIPHANY

[composed rants and raves of grr's and arg's]

Dude, quit acting so jealous. It's unseemly.

What?! I'm not jealous, what I'm talking about is... I'm not j... shit... fuck me... It all makes sense now.

*slow clap* Let's give it up for Captain Oblivious

--

PERCEPTIONS

You're driving a car.

The person next to you is staring out the side window at the bunnies and puppy dogs playing in the snow. This person thinks everything is fine and dandy.

You're looking down the road trying to navigate this darned jalopy and keep it on the road.

Heh, jalopy. That's a funny word.

--

KRIS-TOE-MAS

Guess what I got for Christmas!

. . .

Yes, more Starbucks / coffee related goods. But that wasn't what I was talking about.

. . .

Yes, more booze related goods as well. But that wasn't what I was talking about.

. . .

Oh I'll just tell you, it's www.brucenguyen.ca
=O

Monday, December 18, 2006

(H) Brain Diarrhea

Following your gut
I shouldn't have changed my flight schedule. Should have stuck with the original plan.

Note to future self: Being snowed in is not a divine sign.

Like, srsly...
Did somebody stick a "Set me up with your friend" sign on my back? Cause I'm not meaning to be advertising. In fact, I'm not even for sale.

[hidden] I'm for rent *wink* [/hidden]

All I want for Christmas...
You always want what you don't have?
But if the only thing you ever wanted is something you never possessed, does that support the theory or does that just make it coincidental?

My gift giving mantra
I have a list of 'must-gift' (family, mainly), then I have a list of 'like-to-gift'. If you're on my 'like-to-gift' list, I'll only gift you something if I happen across that ideal item. No gift-giving for the sake of gift-giving.

So if you don't receive a gift from me this year, it's not that I wasn't looking for one, it's that I couldn't find one that would do you justice

[hidden] ... because I wasn't looking hard enough, haha [/hidden]

Also, for my 'must-gift' list, my mantra is if you can't find a gift that's meaningful, give a gift that's regiftable.

I think I'm in love...
You're petite, incredulously cute, and possess a wicked imagination.

At times you can be shy - even naive - and find it hard to express and deal with certain emotions. Yet you are one of the strongest person I've seen, able to take initiative and follow through when you find something you're passionate about.

One of the most selfless persons I've ever seen, you can also be quirky and mischievousness at the same time.

A short time spent with you leaves me smiling for hours.

Who are you? You are Amelie Poulain.

Yes, I'm a little late to the party. Sue me. Break me. Shake me. Hate me. Take me over.

The appeal of Amelie as a character derives from the spoken narrative as well as journeying as an invisible third party by her side. From outward appearances, somebody like Amelie may seem... kind of weird and creepy, actually. But because we see this intimate narrative, we have a deeper understanding of her.

Without that narrative and following along her life, would you have cared about or even noticed Amelie? If not, then what other opportunities are you missing out on because you never thought to give the other person a chance?

Then again, Amelie does strike me as one of a kind...

[hidden] I would *so* do Amelie in a heartbeat :P [/hidden]

Monday, December 11, 2006

All I Want For Christmas...

Somebody asked what I want for Christmas. I answered:

"A story.
In a box.
Wrapped up all pretty-like.

I'll hold the gift up to my ear and shake it gently in my hands. Tiny whisperings will leak out from the cracks; teasing with faint hints of an epic story that's begging to be told.

A story in pictures, a story in words,
A way to say what's yet to be heard.
Make use of a brush or the rhythm of rhyme,
To a song or a melody, I'll never say 'nein'."
Yeah, that didn't make much sense to me either. But I suppose if I were to try and derive meaning from it, it would be that I don't want the gift per say, I just want to know the story behind the gift.
"It's not a roll of pennies, it's piggy-bank bacon. I wanted to amalgamate your apparently contradictory passions for pork and protecting wild life. *smile*"

"I made this see-saw figure for you. Do you remember what see-saws represent?"

"[edited out since I'm going to put this in a Christmas card :D]"

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Brain vomit

Paving Roads
What is the impetus for creating roads? These days, we know where a road will lead before we build it.

But let's step back to a time before roads were paved with tar.
Step back again to before they were compressed compounds of dirt.
Step back to when they were but paths etched out in the grassy plains through repeated travels.
Step back to that first step that would forge a new path that would build a road that would grant access to untold opportunity.

Was was the impetus for that first step? Survival? Wonderment? Disillusionment?

Honestly though, who the fuck cares?

--

I can kill you with my brain!
Guy beside me in class: "Wait, wait... stop right there. Just let me... reflect on this... ... ... ... Oooohhhhh! ... ... But wait..."

Me: If we all concentrate really, REALLY hard, I think we can choke him to death with our brains!

--

Christmas Gifts
It the thought that counts? Bullshit.

To paraphrase a movie quote: Deep down you may still be that same great person you used to be. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you.

If you really care about somebody, don't get something for them, do something for them.

Yes, I know 'getting something' is technically 'doing something'. But it's the motivation and reason behind it that really... aww fugnuts. I guess it really is the thought that counts.

--

See-saws
Relationships are like a see-saw. To really make it work, you both have to have the same weight invested in it, you both have to push, and you both have to trust the other isn't about to jump off without warning.

Yadda, yadda, [insert amateur analysis] yadda [insert thinly veiled metaphor for my current state of mind] yadda yadda.

--

Conversations
[Insert edited-real-life or completely-made-up conversation dialog that's really a thinly veiled metaphor]

--

Las Vegas
It's alright. But it just doesn't compare.

Not even close.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

It's that time of year again...

There are lots of other events and shows, Festival of Trees @ 4 seasons, Carol Ships cruises, Xmas @ Burnaby Village, etc, but the following are typically my mainstays

[hidden] Yes, because most of them are free. [/hidden]

40th Annual Singing Christmas Tree Musical
Date(s): Fri Dec 8 to Mon Dec 11 AND Fri Dec 15 to Mon Dec 18
Time: Various times
Cost: Free
Location: Broadway Church (2700 East Broadway)

Trinity Street Lights Competition
Date: Mid December-ish
Time: After sunset
Cost: Free
Location: Trinity Street in East Vancouver, between Renfrew and Nanaimo

Festival of Lights
Date(s): Fri Dec 15 to Dec 31 (closed on Christmas Day)
Time: 5pm - 9:30pm
Cost: $11.65 per person or $22.30 for a 'family' of four.
Location: Van Dusen Botanical Gardens (5251 Oak Street)

Winter Solstice Lantern Festival
Date: Friday Dec 22
Time: 6pm - 10pm
Cost: Free
Location(s): West End, Yaletown, Granville Island Strathcona/Chinatown, East Side/Commercial Drive

If the last couple years are any gauge, I'll also be watching, "It's a Wonderful Life", hitting the slopes at least once, and mourning my pitiful attempts to create that perfect batch of hot chocolate.

And I'll probably be on a farm.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Rush, rush, rush

So I spend 30 minutes trying to call a cab to get me to my helicopter, but my phone's auto-redial isn't being able to cut through the incessant busy signal.

Not wanting to waste any more time, I wake up my friend, we hurriedly drive to the heliport, and I leave my car keys in her care until I return in 4 weeks time.

I make it to the heliport 2 minutes before my scheduled departure.

"I'm sorry sir, all flights have been put on standby until at least noon"


. . .


So you're saying I can crawl back in bed now? =D

[hidden] A pessimist would have said, you mean I could STILL be in bed right now? I'm always the optimist *grin* [/hidden]

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Now why did I have to go and do that?

1. Ageless mind dwarf exercise

2. Kick Bud Trexler

3. A Gentleman's dim lighting footprint

Oh, such fun fun fun times... [hidden] I'd like some smart-ass to go with my sarcasm, please [/hidden]

Thursday, November 16, 2006

So it's official...

Work is sending me to Las Vegas for a couple weeks in late November / early December.

Instead of flying back to Vancouver for the weekends, I'm considering flying straight from Victoria to Vegas, then once that stint is over, flying straight back to Victoria.

That means I may not be in Vancouver for the next month or more.

*shrug*

Can you give me a reason to come back to Vancouver?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

10 years ...

... to the day.

How would my life have been different? How would I have been different?

[hidden] Do you ever unconsciously start poking at scar tissue? I can't imagine that it's healthy, but it sure is addictive. [/hidden]

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Things I like

So a consultant, a dental assistant, and a concierge walk into a bar... oh, have I told you this one already? Never mind then. Let's talk of things I like.

Hidden smiles
You know the ones. Where for some reason or another, you're trying to hold back a smile. But you can't. And all of a sudden it's unleashed in a big toothy grin.

Rebellious, lone strands of hair
And the plucking thereof.

Unpredictability in others
I think I understand people, their motivations, and their tendencies. I like to be shown wrong every now and then. Keeps me humble. I haven't been very humble lately.

Long-ish hair (clean)
Full, pleasing locks flowing through my fingers.

1st times
That beating heart, sweaty palms, and rush of adrenalin creating a mixture of excitement and anxiety... Do you remember your first time? The vivid, almost overpowering sensations... the sweet fragrances that seemed to fill your senses... the feelings... the textures... the tastes...

Oh, to re-experience my first corossolier + condensed milk drink or my first rambutan.

[hidden] Freshly pressed apple juice is cool, but it just doesn't compare. [/hidden]

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Year Two in Review

This blog is turning two years old. The word that summed up Year One was "Transition". The word or phrase that encapsulates Year Two?

"What if." [hidden] Actually, that's just the word or phrase that captures this particular moment of reflection [/hidden]

What if I moved out?
What if I grew a goatee?
What if I could really believe it?
What if I tried a different career path?
What if she could be celebrating her 10th birthday?

Ended up doing the first, trying the second, mistiming the third, and discounting the forth. As for the fifth? Well... that one is purely hypothetical.

It's hard to believe it's been that long.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Quirks

  • I can't leave any sauce left on a dinner plate.
    If there's bread laying around, i'll use it to mop up any leftover sauce or grease

  • Take a bite, take a sip, wipe mouth. Repeat.
    I don't do this quite so much anymore, though.

  • Tiled or patterned surfaces, each pace must be equal, i.e. two paces to each sidewalk square, 2nd pace of right foot landing on the crack.
    I don't do this as much anymore, either. Other things on the mind while I'm walking, I suppose.

  • I can't keep my fingers still. My fingers are in constant need to find something to play with.

  • I'm told I have essential tremor. The shivers are noticeable at times. I have to consciously lay them at rest on something else. Otherwise people think I'm continuously nervous when I'm completely comfortable.

  • Every mirror or reflective surface i notice, i must look at myself

  • If I imagine a conversation with you in my head, I'll never bring that topic up in real life. We've already discussed it. It's been resolved. (no it hasn't)

  • I have a foot fetish. They must be sock covered. They must be massaged. A photo must be taken.

  • I am subconscious drawn to greeting card stands.

  • I love it when a girl with a sweet australian accent says, "Can I ask you something". Really, it's all in the word, "ask".

  • In video games where there is a limited amount of an item (bombs, or potions, or ether), I'll do everything possible to avoid using it. Unless I have the maximum amount of that item. Then I can use one.

  • Growing up, I would have to go to th washroom and relieve myself at least once before I could finish my meal. Now I just go afterwards. And beforehand. And again once I get to our next destination.

  • Whenever the phone rings, I visualize who I think is on the other end. I'm very frequently dissappointed.

  • For a short period, I couldn't use the washroom in a confined space. Stalls, porta potties, small bathrooms... the doors would have to be left open while I'm in there or I'd start feeling anxious.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Never content...

As I'm working at my desk, they're taking down a wall no more than 10 feet from me. Sledgehammers, drills, and other assorted tools make a cacophony of noise that fills the air. A thin layer of an impromptu plastic barrier - while helpless against the noise - proudly stands guard, protecting my computer and work area from an attacking cloud of dust and debris.

I stare intently at the labourers.

I can't help but think...

Damn, that's a cool job.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Did we all just name the one thing that we don't have?

Question: What is your driving goal in life, or ideal attribute for life?

BL: "Stability"
ML: "Randomness"
BN: "Energy or passion"

Monday, October 23, 2006

Smiling Like An Idiot; Don't Know Why

Oh shit. Yes, I do.

No... must... not... analyze...

Fuck... too late.

Huh... I'm still smiling. Whodathunk?

[hidden]
Password hint to decrypt the text below?
It's your name plus how you respond to me when I greet you with: 'boo'
If you guess wrong, then it's not for you, I suppose.

Oh, and javascript needs to be enabled.
[/hidden]


Click here to Decrypt text below

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Friday, October 20, 2006

Shitznick

Just realized with the move to the new Blogger Beta, all my posts had to be converted to the new system... meaning my archive of all my old blog layouts is gone.

Well, fuck.

I liked the header I had before with my pictures in it... And really, all the posts about layout changes and tweaks make no sense anymore.

[hidden] As if my posts routinely make any kind of coherent sense. [/hidden]

Okay, seriously. Sleep. Try it. Now.

A Work In Progress... still


Yeah, remember this? If not, refer back to the original sketch and reference as well as my initial attempt at colouring and clean-up.

Four months later, insomnia + an art itch + nothing left I want to scrub and clean got me to continue with some colouring and clean-up work. Still no where near completion... but we'll see how far I get in another four months.

I think I'll work from home tomorrow... err, today. Shit, I have to get up for work in 90 minutes.

Insomnia

What do you do when it's 3:30am, you can't sleep, and there's nobody to talk to?

Go for a jog? Draw? Sculpt? Get ahead with work?
Done, done, done, done. What's next?

Cleaning?

Check off the tub, the toilet, the sinks, the tables, the stove, the appliances, the faucets, and I don't do windows or floors.

What's next?

Who wouldn't hate me if I called them at this ungodly hour to discuss the benefits of baking soda and vinegar over off the shelf chemical cocktail cleaners?

I need a pet. A roomba. I can ramble inanely to my pet robo-vacuum in the middle of the night.

Scratching My Artsy Itch

Project: Sculpt a pumpkin
Total Duration: About 4 hours
People ignored in the process: Lots

Yes, I went to the Body Worlds exhibit on the weekend. I was inspired :P

I'll see if I can upload larger pics later See my flicker set, my other pumpkin carving is on there as well. Or you can try and swing by the pad and see them in person.

Check it out the process below:

1) Tools I used:

  • 1 Lancashire Peeler
  • 1 one chopstick
  • measuring spoons (really only used the smallest 1/4 teaspoon. Dunno how the rest got so dirty)
2) With the Lancashire peeler, skinned the pumpkin and lightly etched out the design.
3) Carved deeper lines with a chopstick (yes, a chopstick) to start detailing the image.
4) Still using just the chopstick...4) Gave the image depth using the Lancashire peeler and measuring spoons.
5) More detailing.. You can't really tell from this picture, but I carved out individual toes and fingers... Then the Lancashire peeler slipped and I cut off half his hand.6) Same as above, but lit up.7) With the lights off and pumpkin lit up, fine tuned the design and added some edging.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Hello Sunshine!

Walked into work today after lunch. It's grey and ugly outside. Co-worker said I came in beaming, had a hop in my step.

I suppose I do at the moment.

Its time to dance, its time to sing, sing a happy song...

(The eighties was such an embarrassing era :P)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Protect Your Children From the Dangers of Playing Tag!

wtf

Officials at the Willett Elementary School in Attleboro have banned playground tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chasing games over concerns about the risk of injury and liability for the school.
Seriously. Duck, duck, goose is a chasing game. Same as Go, go, go, stop. Are those to be banned as well?
Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.
Seriously. WTF?

They're children. Not babies.

I would go off on a rant of over coddling and protection of children, suppressing growth and development in their formative years, but instead I'll go off on a rant about love.

You don't over coddle or over protect out of love. Love, in my books, has its roots in a feelings of respect... you know what? I don't feel like typing out this rant either.

I'm tired. And I don't feel like figuring out a way to relate it so that the last sentence reads: I had respect for you.

*yawn*

After today, it'll all be better, right?

Did I read too much into it?

Went to the Body Worlds exhibit at Science World on Sunday. First, a word of advice. If you’re to attend this exhibit, go during work/school hours or during the evening shows after 6pm on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Second tip, if you don’t go during the above-mentioned times, get ready to line up and crowd up. Third tip, bring a sketch book. Very cool anatomical modeling practice.

I hear there’s been significant controversy over this subject, but provided all donor bodies were given willingly and with insight of what may happen to them, I see no problem with it. The sculpture was of a male body, balancing on three balls, one under each leg, one under the left hand as if in the midst of performing an acrobatic circus trick. In his outstretched right hand, he was proudly displaying his innards above his head for all to see.

What struck me was a commentary on how this body was on display and being exploited purely for the amusement of an oblivious audience.

I commented on it at the time, my friend just chuckled. I don’t think she really heard me.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Infernal Affairs III

"After tomorrow, it will all be better."

I thought that was such a stupid line in the movie. The first movie, which detailed the middle part of the story, was the best part.

[hidden] ooh... parallels and analogies [/hidden]

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Where do we fit in?

Had a conversation about the nature of friendship the other day. Got me thinking. Killed some time at work today throwing together this list.

[hidden] Remember, it's all about perspective. [/hidden]


The Sometimes Cookie
They're not just acquantances, they're friends. You may even call each other good friends. But you only see them once in a blue moon. You'll talk, you'll hang for a couple days, maybe keep touch for week or two... then they'll disappear from your life again. And yet that's fine. It's how your relationship works. They're yummy cookie treats and you're the new, reformed Cookie Monster. These friends are a sometimes cookie.

The Water Strider
You party together, you chill, you see each other pretty often. But there's no real depth to it. You may share knowledge of certain friends-only details: breakups, hookups, sports teams and college courses. But you're not going to cry in front of them. You're not going to tell them about being physically abused by your uncle as a child. You're not going to tell them about the sexual harassment and or the blackmail you're experiencing at work. Instead, you'll go have a fun time with them to forget all that. Or chill with them between work or classes just to kill time and have some superficial fun. Water Striders are creatures that can freely walk on the surface of water, but never getting the know the water's true depths.

The Emotional Crutch
When you're feeling down, when you complain about the latest guy or girl you're involved with. When you complain about trials at work and with family. These are the people you turn to. And this is really the ONLY time you turn to them. These friends are emotional crutches, to be brought out of storage only when you really need them, plus every now and then for routine maintenance (birthdays, etc).

The Faerie Tale
You feel you can tell them anything and everything, there's no need to hold back, no need to justify, no need to hesitate in any way.

The Appendix
Nobody really knows how or why you became friends. They're just there. And nobody cares enough to really do anything about it, unless for some reason (s)he starts to fester and enflame to the point where you should cut them out of your life.

The Common Dictionary
You work with them, you study with them. They're basically a living reference book. The dictionary always gets poor placement on the bookshelf, hidden behind the encyclopedias and choice novels. The common dictionary may get more usage than the exotic language translation dictionaries, but they're not nearly as exciting. Nobody says, 'ooh, you have a dictionary' But they may say 'ooh, you have a czech-english dictionary, have you ever been?' The Common Dictionary friend serves a purely utilitarian purpose at school or at work. They never get a second glance when not needed.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

I'm so out of the I-Bop-Mizzle loop

When you have to hear about events your company is hosting from people working in competing firms...

Something in the process has gone wrong.

Monday, September 25, 2006

This conversation makes no sense and ends abruptly (c)

You shouldn't have to try, it should just come naturally.

Bullshit.

You shouldn't have to force things. It's like trying to hold on to a bar of soap; the tighter you squeeze the more likely it'll slip from your grasp... or distort to some deformed gobledigook.

Not trying and not forcing things is two completely separate issues.

If it doesn't come about naturally, then it's not meant to be.

What, like how electricity, modern medicine, and unearthing ancient fossils 'naturally' came about without anybody trying?

That's different...

That's right. It IS different. Those things were discovered. It wasn't something fake or manufactured that somebody tried to force feed to an unreceptive audience. It was real.

I don't really see where you're going with this...

All these things were there all along, lurking under the surface, even if nobody realized it. Just waiting to be discovered, waiting to be tapped, waiting to be released. But before any of that could happen, certain people needed to try.

This isn't something you can try to apply your logic to. When it concerns the heart, it's irrational, by it's very definition defying logic. Logic doesn't work.

Then why are you trying to put logic to it by attaching a rule that, "If it doesn't come about naturally, then it's not meant to be"? THAT is trying to make sense of it, as well. THAT is trying to apply logic to the situation. And if what you say is true, logic doesn't work.

You're twisting my words...

Well... you're twisting my heart...

That's not what I'm trying to do...

Some things happen without trying, it just happens naturally.

. . .

Which is why, sometimes, you really do need to try.

Because if you don't, you can unintentionally allow things to happen that you don't want to happen.

And you can also miss out great things... miss uncovering something amazing that maybe you weren't even sure was there in the first place.

...and have you been trying?

Monday, September 18, 2006

Moving on...

... up into a Yaletown condo.

While emptying out my room at the 'rents, I came across some old keepsakes that survived the shoebox fire.

Clicky-dee-clickity-click.

--
Now for more of that ambiguously worded deliberation.

"Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." -- Thomas Edison
I've been restless; I've been discontent. I'm not sure it leads to progress.
“If we resist our passions, it is more through their weakness than from our strength”
-- François de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)
What is my passion? I'm sure I've tried to answer this question before.

--

Looking back: Sept 14.

Who knew that would happen? Quiet you, put your hand down.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Textured patterns.

ob·ses·sion
n.

1. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

--

Unwanted? The very opposite actually.
Unreasonable? Depends. It's only ~$200 / square foot... times 48 square feet...

Tarnation!

Monday, September 11, 2006

On the edge of a pseudo-epiphany?

Maybe not.
[hidden] I've lost it. How did that happen? Leads one to wonder if you ever had it or if it was just fallout from a gigantic ego. [/hidden]

Thursday, August 31, 2006

What would I look like if I were...


faces_horizontal, originally uploaded by Bruce Nguyen.

Top row: Caucasian // West Asian // Afro Carribean // Female // Drunk
Middle row: Baby // Child // Original (East Asian, Young Adult) // Teenager // Older Adult
Bottom row: Drawn by Modigliani // Drawn by Botticelli // Drawn by El Greco // Anime style // Ape-man

--

I don't think I look too keen as a Black guy, but White, Brown, or Oriental? Damn, I'm sexy! ;)

Upload a photo to Perception Laboratory's Face Transformer and see how you might look if you were another race, another species, another gender, etc.

The un-doctored image is centre. Click on the image above to view my Flickr page where each individual transformation is described.

If you have a Flickr account, you can also log in to view larger and more detailed versions of the above picture (click on the "All Sizes" button for this picture after you log in.) The full size original version is 1500 x 1200.

Or you can click here for a larger not quite so huge version of the picture.

Thanks Kare, for posting the Face Transformer so I could steal it from you.

Curse of my heritage

So late in the afternoon I find out the Practice Lead for Western Canada for my division is in town today but is leaving on a plane at 7pm. Naturally I somehow navigate my way into grabbing a quick bite to eat with him before he has to leave town.

Get offered a beer.

I accept.

Bruce + Beer + no Pepcid AC on hand + working meal = Well... fuck!

Stupid Asian flush.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Annoyed; figured out why.

An epiphany woke me at 5am.

As I madly tried to transcribe it, the torrential blast of words I so clearly pictured in my mind poured out of me quicker than I could keep up with. As the clouds of conviction dissipated, all I was left with was a haphazardly collected pool of half-finished thoughts and roughly worded concepts.

Something about socially constructed gender roles, incongruency of actions and thought, and idealistic but obviously misguided justifications and interpretations.

While the entire stream of thought that flowed to this conclusion is incomprehensibly lost now, I do have the end result clear in mind. And maybe, that's the most important part.
[hidden]
The root of this annoyance ball that's found haven inside me this last week?
It's not you, it's me.
Seriously.
And the part that annoys me the most? It's that I'm seriously considering not doing anything about it

[/hidden]
There are few people in the world that can irritate me more than myself.


Thursday, August 24, 2006

It's not gonna happen... Get over it!

No matter how much I want it to happen... and I do want it to happen, I really do... it's not.

I think I'm just going to have to come to terms with it. It's been on my mind for months now... I'll discuss it with people and while some have chimed in with rounds of, "Go for it! Take the risk!"... I can't. I won't.

Not again.

Whenever I get close to making up my mind and taking that leap, all of a sudden I'll be infected with a form of Blue Car Syndrome. I'll start to notice guys all around me that seem to have made the exact same choice that I'm considering... Seeing their results convinces me that following though with this choice would be mistake.

A huge mistake.

Stupid Asian genes.

Why can't I grow a nice looking goatee?
[hidden] Bet you thought I was going to take a different route didn't you? Well, being predictable was never a talent of mine that I liked to indulge. [/hidden]

Silly Gooses

Umm... "Geese"?

No, it's "Gooses".
[hidden] Multiple plural, individual plural; I think I'm so clever. [/hidden]

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Stop being a drama king.

Had a nice day today. But on the drive home felt frustrated as hell. Drove recklessly at 130+ kmph while just barely avoiding the urge to smash my car into something... anything. Fuck, am I annoyed at me or at you? I have no fucking idea.

Spread em!

Yes, I have this weird fascination with data exploration, extraction, and infographics.

Is it wrong that seeing the following two links gave me shivers down my spine?

Lightweight data exploration in Excel


More on Excel in-cell graphing


In line Gantt charts!


And what started this foray back into excel and spreadsheets?

Why, dicking around with Google Spreadsheets of course! (Collaborative moving itinerary and budget, woo!)

PS: Ooh... iRows!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Acronyms

IINL;
IIA

No, I won't be playing charades with you.
[hidden] It'll be more like a lame version of '20 Questions' [hidden]

--

On an unrelated note... well, a not-directly-related note at least, my best man speech outline was as follows:

  1. Living in shadow
  2. Meeting the future bride
  3. Wishing you happy smells

Friday, August 04, 2006

Seriously

You people give the worst advice in the world. I need another me to take advice from.

A couple of scrapes and bruises is fine. Through adversity do we grow, and through experience and 'failure' do we quickly learn.

Experiencing success reinforces current habits.
Experiencing loss can promote change, but only if the loss is accepted as a progressive step.
It is argued that skewed distributions of successes or perceived successes in ratio to setbacks and losses will lead to stagnation of mind and spirit.

Stagnation.

It has a weird smell.

[hidden] Yes, I had nothing to do at work today. [/hidden]

Word of advice (c)

I can't believe you're doing this.

It's something I think I should do, so that's what I'm doing... It's the right thing.

Dude, you shouldn't make decisions when you're depressed. It's like making decisions when you're drunk.

Meaning it'll be fun?

No. Meaning it'll seem right at the time but when your head clears, you'll realize that your pants are missing and you're wearing your underwear on your head.

Right... so like I said; fun.

No, buddy, I'm saying you're using your head like your ass. It's full of crap right now and that's all that's coming out of it.

It's not crap, it's fertilizer. Maybe my asshead is a fertile ground for good decisions.

Not in this case. Buddy, I'm telling you, it's not too late to turn back. Stop this lunacy now.

You're calling me crazy...

Dude, there's a difference between condemning the person and condemning the action. This action path that you've started...

Maybe I am crazy... and this is the only way to clear my head. The only way for me to move on. I can't take these constant reminders and memory triggers... it all has to go.

You're hopeless.

Not hopeless; depressed. Actually... I suppose having no hope ties into that.

Dude...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Keep Your Fork

Keep reading until the end. Then smile. -B

The following is a shortstory titled "Keep Your Fork", written by Roger William Thomas, published in A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

--

The sound of Martha's voice on the other end of the telephone always brought a smile to Brother Jim's face. She was not only one of the oldest members of the congregation, but one of the most faithful. Aunt Martie, as all the children called her, just seemed to ooze faith, hope and love wherever she went.

This time, however, there seemed to be an unusual tone to her words. "Preacher, could you stop by this afternoon? I need to talk with you."

"Of course. I'll be there around three, Is that okay?"

As they sat facing each other in the quiet of her small living room, Jim learned the reason for what he sensed in her voice. Martha shared the news that her doctor had just discovered a previously undetected tumor.

"He says I probably have six months to live." Martha's words were certainly serious, yet there was a definite calm about her.

"I'm so sorry to . . . " but before Jim could finish, Martha interrupted.

"Don't be. The Lord has been good. I have lived a long life. I'm ready to go. You know that."

"I know," Jim whispered with a reassuring nod.

"But I do want to talk with you about my funeral. I have been thinking about it, and there are things that I know I want."

The two talked quietly for a long time. They talked about Martha's favorite hymns, the passages of Scripture that had meant so much to her through the years, and the many memories they shared from the five years Jim had been with Central Church.

When it seemed that they had covered just about everything, Aunt Martie paused, looked up at Jim with a twinkle in her eye, and then added, "One more thing, preacher. When they bury me, I want my old Bible in one hand and a fork in the other."

"A fork?" Jim was sure he had heard everything, but this caught him by surprise. "Why do you want to be buried with a fork?"

"I have been thinking about all of the church dinners and banquets that I attended through the years," she explained. "I couldn't begin to count them all. But one thing sticks in my mind.

"At those really nice get-togethers, when the meal was almost finished, a server or maybe the hostess would come by to collect the dirty dishes. I can hear the words now. Sometimes, at the best ones, somebody would lean over my shoulder and
whisper, `You can keep your fork.' And do you know what that meant? Dessert was coming!

"It didn't mean a cup of Jell-O or pudding or even a dish of ice cream. You don't need a fork for that. It meant the good stuff, like chocolate cake or cherry pie! When they told me I could keep my fork, I knew the best was yet to come!

"That's exactly what I want people to talk about at my funeral. Oh, they can talk about all the good times we had together. That would be nice.

"But when they walk by my casket and look at my pretty blue dress, I want them to turn to one another and say, `Why the fork?'

"That's what I want you to say. I want you to tell them that I kept my fork because the best is yet to come."

I am

ludacris motion cougar

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Week 30, 2006 (weekend edition)

Items of note:

  • I said a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie hippie hip hip hop, you don't stop. [/hidden] Misdirection! [/hidden]
Quotes:
  • On what else would I call you?
    Be: Aww, you called me a 'woman'!

  • On such and such 2
    Na: If we were to ever live together...
    Br: We'd kill each other?
    Na: Yeah.

  • On finding a discrete place to throw stuff away...
    Br: Are you trying to hide a dead body?

  • On joining the club...
    CF: All right, I'm gonna go find my balls and stop being such a chick now.

  • On being part of the club...
    GA: Wow, you have more self control than me.
    CF: Well... it's either that or I have an intense dislike of anything that can make me happy.

  • On going to see Strangers With Candy...
    CF: What if the stranger says he has candy in his black-tinted-windows, nondescript van?
    KH: If he's cute, go for it.
    CF: I fear for your future children's lives.
Contemplations:
  • I made a promise. [hidden] Stupid fucking promises... [/hidden]
    I forgot about it. [hidden] And what to do seemed so clear... [/hidden]
    I remember it now. [hidden] Stupid fucking memory... [/hidden]

  • A new recipe for life...
    Ingredients: Bruce (1)
    Instructions: Serve as is.

  • Yes, I know; I'm a hypocrite. [hidden] boo-urns [/hidden]

  • I don't want to hear it. [hidden] Yes I do. [/hidden]

  • I'M the fucking king! [hidden] It's quite sad. [/hidden]

Friday, July 28, 2006

Week 30, 2006

Items of note:

  • Research weekend coming up.

  • Second last week of Richmond project.

  • Made a plan of action. It's simple, really. [hidden] screw my contemplations... this makes it simpler. [/hidden]
Quotes:
  • On but they don't know each other...
    BN: "That's the beauty of the system!"

  • On needing to see the fear in his eyes...
    CF: Wow, [stuff and stuff and stuff...] your guy's a lucky man! Well... except for the dream about choking him in his sleep bit.
    JF: No, not in his sleep.

  • On the plan...
    BN: "Just Bruce. Nothing else required in this recipe."

  • On being self analytical...
    BL: "Sounds like you have things figured out..."
    BN: "Yes, avoiding the issue is quite the good plan."

  • On trains, rocketships, and tugboats...
    CF: Are you following along with my conga line of thought?

Paving Roads to Hell

I'm going to Hell.

Why would you say that?

The road to hell is paved with good inventions, isn't it?

Intentions.

Come again?

The saying is 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions', not 'inventions'.

Oh. Well that's a load off of my mind.

Wait a minute, what inventions have YOU created?

Lots. Remember that time at my apartment?

No.

Sure you do.

... no, dude I really don't.

Dude, the 2 chicks, the free beer, the actor invention?

Buddy, that's not an invention; there's a difference between creating things and making shit up.

Really? Well, what do you call a person who does that second thing?

A bloody lier.

Oh... then I'm still going to Hell?

Probably.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Week 29, 2006

Items of note:

  • Searched to achieve: Rascal Flatts' Ghosts
    Instead discovered: Kem the perfect stranger

  • Bachelor; archived July 1996?

  • Banquet; Nine bottles of wine divided by 4 people

  • Beach; I thought I didn't burn

  • If somebody gives you the, "You're like a song... if only I could make an mp3 of you" line... run. Run away now.
Quotes:
  • On I don't think that last part is going to happen
    B: "It's not about finding somebody 'better'; it's about finding somebody you can care about even more."

  • On you think you know me better than I know myself?
    Bu: "Whatever, I don't care."
    Bo: "Yes you do."
    Bu: "... fuck!"
  • On wedding traditions...
    DP: I'm trying to figure out the glass tapping code for 'second base'

  • On dude, you're such a drama king...
    DB: "I AM!"

  • On the count...
    BB: So this is the final countdown? Number 11?
    Br: Oh... yeah... pfft, this doesn't count.
Contemplations:
  • Who was it that said the following?
    "I don't believe a word I say,
    but if I can make you believe it,
    maybe you can make me a believer."

  • Rules are there for a reason. Especially in terms of stag parties. Stop breaking them you idjits!
    // "You do not TALK about fight club!"

  • Who could have thought that a bunch of naked women prancing about could be so unfulfilling?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Motivation (return of the meandering rant)

The various titles of this blog revolve around it, but I don't believe I've ever really explained why.

It is my belief that the saying, "it's the thought that counts" is a 1/2 tonne load of bullshit. Not quite a full tonne of bullshit, but close enough. While I do agree that the thought does actually count, too often people throw around this cliché as an excuse. The problem is that it's not an excuse, at least, not a very good one. What it is, however, is a perspective; a perspective that demotes the importance of delivered, actionable results.

If you give a crappy gift, that's your fault. Yes, the receiver can be graceful and show appreciation for the "thought" of the gift, but what "thought" was going through the giver's head? Was it: "I need to find the best and most appropriate gift"? I'd venture a guess that as time passed, the thought morphed from "best and most appropriate gift" to "I need something and I need it now!"

Let's say the gift was given with the best intentions and the giver was fully expecting it to go over like gang busters. It doesn't. What happened here? Were faulty assumptions and/or conclusions made? Doesn't matter. The execution is the key point here, not the intent.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions? Well, smart mouth, so is the road to heaven... Or any road, for that matter. The intent is immaterial to the end result by which it is viewed and judged.

So what does any of this have to do with motivation?

I forget. But I meant well.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Rascal Flatts Ghosts

Motivated.
[hidden] But for how long? [/hidden]

But who the heck is Robi Rosa?
[hidden] Answer 1: Former Menudo member.
Answer 2: He whose lyrics sullen me to no end (unrelated to Answer 1).
Answer 3: "You bore me" [/hidden]

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Week 28, 2006

Items of note:

  • Why must people feel to need to buy a house in the sticks? (If I have to drive more than 45 minutes, I'm probably not coming over to visit.)

  • Go, go, Flikr pro account!

  • Commence the researching of gentlemens clubs and escorts!
Quotes:
  • On what are you doing right now?
    BB: "Oh just sitting at work, picking my nose."

  • On a very special kind of friendship...
    BT: "I will let you wash my linen."

  • On oh will you please shut the fuck up...
    BB: Shh... Use your indoor voice.
Contemplations:
  • I'm not a footnote. Who the heck wants to be a footnote?

  • One call to make you smile 'the fool', two to take it away,
    Three to fill your mind with doubts, four to make it stay.

  • I'm thinking of the long term for once. This is very weird; I should be thinking short term right now instead. [hidden] (Abbreviated names and language learning... shit, I expect to be freaked out by these thoughts... but they're more comforting than anything else. And that kind of freaks me out.) [/hidden]
Lessons learned:
  • How to install laminate flooring.

  • How to work 4 days in a row without sleep.

  • How to go from chip lead to broke in 3 hands.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

This made me chuckle

Apparently, the footage of Zidane's headbutt on Materazzi shown on television was different depending on what country you were in.


Linky: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/07/13/zidane_headbutt_outrage/

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Week 27, 2006

Items of note:

  • It's starting. Just like I told you it would.

  • Somebody's finally moving out... sadly it's not me.

  • Finally uploaded all my Europe trip pictures, sorted them, and tagged them... only took me 13 months!
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/bruce_nguyen/sets/
Quotes:
  • On role reversals...
    Bu: Tell you what, [yadda yadda], then YOU can buy ME that drink!

  • On allergic reactions to mosquito bites...
    Bo: Why's your left hand bigger than your right?

  • On indoor workspaces...
    Cu: Go to the beach.
    Be: It's raining.
    Cu: Really? ... I need a cubicle with a window view
Contemplations:
  • My memory sucks. [hidden](it meshes situations together)[/hidden]

  • It makes no sense at all. [hidden](Why? I have no real answer to that)[/hidden]

  • Another drink? Sure! [hidden](make it all go away)[/hidden]

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Week 26, 2006

Items of note:

  • Jazz Fest ends.

  • Water rafting / camping.

  • New hair style (Yes, again.). It's textured!
Quotes:
  • On disappearing acts...
    bh: "Does [she] do this a lot?"
    bn: "Only when there's some cute white guy around."
    bh: "So... 'yes'?"

  • On insomnia...
    B1: "No, I didn't sleep with her."
    B2: [raises eyebrow]
    B1: "Well, technically I suppose I did... although I didn't get much sleep..."
    B2: [preps a high-five]
    B1: "She slept like a babe through the whole thing, though."
    B2: [awkwardly inches away]

  • On the turning point...
    B: "It's all in your reactions to arguments. You can feel like yelling at the person, shutting them out, or slapping some sense into them; but so long as you don't imagine yourself leaving the other person, I'd say the relationship is on solid footing."
    J: "Interesting perspective..."
    B: "Imagine killing the other person in their sleep? Sure, perfectly healthy! Imagine leaving them? Never in a long lasting relationship."

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A Work In Progress

The Gimp + Laptop pointing device = Undue frustration.



We'll see how far I get before I never touch it again.
Instead of a touchpad, I think I work better with a pen.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

A pipe dream

I want to start over.

"Hi."

Week 25, 2006

Items of note:

  • Did you really delete my posted comment? Seriously. [hidden]Since when were rape jokes off limits?[/hidden]

  • OUENDAN!

  • Vij's, although a tad pricey, gets a thumbs up. Samosa Garden on the other hand...

  • OUENDAN!!

  • Day one: Holy bat-cakes!
    Day four: Yawn... come on now, let's get this over with.

  • OUENDAN!!!
Quotes:
  • On flash photography...
    B: (Eww, what a bunch of fugly people.)

  • On I know, I just can't stop doing it...
    b: "Do you know how many things you say that could hurt me?"

  • On I know, I just can't stop doing it... part 2
    B: "Stop hitting on me."
    b: "No, YOU stop hitting on ME."
    B: "I can't."
    b: "I know."

  • On what's your point?
    W: "Where'd you meet them? They look pretty young."

  • On just because it keeps being said, that doesn't make it true...
    B: "I feel very little sexual attraction whatsoever between us."
Lessons learned:
  • On backtracking a snowball effect...
    First step towards change is aknowledgement. First sign towards aknowledgement is sharing. First requirement for sharing is trusting.

    I trust you?

    I trust you. [hidden] freak, i'm such a chick :P [/hidden]

  • On self awareness...
    Forget temples, texts, and teachers. All one really needs is a severly pissed off ex-'not-a-girlfriend'.

  • On social interactions...
    Got five sides to me, something like a pentagon
Dream theory:
I had a dream last night. I was driving home, got in an accident, wound up in a coma. Two people came to visit me and I floated around outside my body, viewing the interaction.

They talked. They seemed to care. One held my hand and touched my face, even tearing up a little. The other looked sad, but wouldn't do more than stand just barely inside the hospital room, near the exit.

I thought, if they switched places, I would be able to wake up.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Dr Lovejoy prescribes the following:

1) Read the newstory.

2) Watch the video.

3) Feel a little bit better about the kind of people there are in the world.

--

And if you need a little push to actually click the links, here's an excerpt from the newstory to get you in the mood:

"Most kids making a wish through the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Idaho wish to go someplace, to meet someone or to have something special.

Aubrey's request - to "be" something - is the rarest kind of wish, said executive director Marcia Karakas. It's the first time in at least 10 years that a "be" wish has been received in the Idaho office..."
What did she want to be? Click the links above to find out.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Week 24, 2006

"When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire"
--Vocal opening from 'Your ex-lover is dead' by Stars
Quit imagining hidden innuendo in my quotes and posts. [hidden] It's hidden text you should be looking for! And you unformatted text RSS people are cheating. Yeah, I'm looking at you, K! And you too, S! [/hidden]

Items of note:
  • DS Lite lite baby (Seven grown men playing Nintendo... Awesome! We need an eigth!) [hidden] No. Just, no. No dual meaning or homoerotic innuendo was meant to be implied here. [/hidden]
  • So I married an axe murderer. [hidden] More 'a suddenly claustrophobically creepy I-want-to-have-your-babies crazy chick' than 'an axe murderer'. And more' I escaped from' instead of 'I married'. Yes, I could have handled it better, but she also could have been less psychotic about it. [/hidden]
  • Will I, won't I, will I? It's always all about me. [hidden] No, it's never about me. It's always about the other guy, isn't it? Sometimes I like being 'the other guy'. This isn't one of them [/hidden]
Quotes:
  • On a shirt I must get:
    S: I'm just not that into you.

  • On reading people like a book:
    B: No, you don't.
    N: No, I don't.

  • On damn you, Brain Age!
    R: Five times four is.... nine!
Contemplations:
  • If 'avoidance' is a theme in your aspirations, then you really don't have any aspirations... unless you're the type that says flying is really just falling and missing the ground.

  • If at first you don't succeed, try, try again? Sure. But if you still don't succeed, maybe it's time to rethink either your approach or your measure of success.

  • Are people afraid of rejection? Or are they afraid of acceptance because of the ensuing responsibility? [hidden] The answer I'm looking for, if you've been paying attention, is 'neither'. It shouldn't be about avoidance. [/hidden]

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Week 23, 2006

Thought of the Week:

“Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.”
-- Lawrence Block
What did I think I was looking for?

Items of note:
  • Happy Birthday [various people]!

  • Happy Kwanzaa... I mean, Convocation [various people]!

  • I'm so happy for you, Bobo. We is all growed up now :D

  • Sunday: Boyz II Men @ Plush was filled with nostalgic goodness.

  • I think you're right [hidden]I don't trust it[/hidden]
Quotes:
  • On short term relationships:
    B: "It's better to end and move on quickly than to drag something out that you know is not going to work"
    J: "Exactly."
    B: "That's the perspective that doesn't make us sound like the dogs we are, so that's what I tell people."

  • On coming home early:
    B: "I had work, ladyfriend has an exam tomorrow"
    M: "The only exams i know of are high school finals. You dog, you!"
    B: "Dude, midterms."
    M: "Suuuuurrre"

  • On charts and graphs that should finally make it clear:
    K: "That is why i'm all for monogamous love but polygamous relationships"
    C: "I think I just had a 'eureka' moment."

  • On did they really just say that?
    b: "And they're like, 'Don't let her go! After she's done with you I want her!'"

  • On what I really want, [hidden]I think... oh shit I don't really know.[/hidden]
    B: "I want us to be great friends."

  • On so many levels of wrongness at stag parties:
    D: "So there were 3 piles of 'toys' to choose from..."

Animator VS Animation

Been a while since I linked something.

Awesome flash animation titled "Animator VS Animation". Check it out.

http://www.theintarweb.org/content/Fun%20Stuff/Animator%20Vs%20Animation.swf

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Why don't I listen to my own preachings?

Don't you hate it when you say something to reject another's hypothesis, but on closer examination what you said actually supports them and makes their argument stronger?

What am I getting at? I'm trying to force new experiences into the mold of old ones. We are of our own mold. To try and force us into another is a fruitless endeavour. I'm sorry I keep trying to do this.

Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it? But what if you want to repeat the past? Where's the implied problem there?

I shouldn't need to spell it out for you, but I will still outline it:

  • The variables are never all the same,
  • Unique opportunites are not leveraged,
  • Lack of growth
Quotes make people (me) sound smart.
"The most important revelation about the past stems from the realization that it is not important to try and get rid of it, but to realize that we are already, by definition, rid of it. We need not be convinced of the importance of living in the present, but instead realize that we inevitably live in the present, and the only thing to id is to face it. ... Whether we like it or not, we cannot escape the present. The only reality is now."
--George Lawrence-Ell (The Invisible Clock)

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Completely off topic

Limits suck when they are there to restrict and confine you.

Limits are good when they provide focus and structure.

The limit this year is 10.

[counting on my fingers]

Oh wait... I mean 11.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I won't be your crutch.

Crutches come in pairs; there's only one of me.

Upon closer inspection

Ever listen to a song thinking it's about one subject, only to find out upon closer inspection that it's the complete opposite of what you thought?

Enter: Nothing Better by The Postal Service.

I thought it was a lovey-dovey song.

(Male part:)
"Tell me am I right,
To think that there could be nothing better,
Than making you my bride,
And slowly growing old together."
It's actually a breakup song.
(Female part:)
"Don't you feed me lines
About some idealistic future.
Your heart won't heal right
If you keep tearing out the sutures."
Later in the song:
(Male part:)
"I know that I've made mistakes.
And, I swear I'll never wrong you again."

(Girl part:)
You've got a lure I can't deny
But you've had your chance, So say goodbye.
Say goodbye.
When I realized this, I had the largest grin on my face. I don't know why.
I think I was laughing.

Yeah, I'm a bastard. I know.

Oh the things you discover when stuck in traffic on a Friday morning.

On another note, if you're so inclined, get the Styrofoam remix of Nothing Better off the We Will Become Silhouettes album. Ooh, and the Iron and Wine cover of Such Great Heights is coolio acoustic version of a great Postal Service song as well.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Expectations

Rant

They are always there. There to be lived up to, there to be graded against, and sometimes there to be forever out of reach.

You say you want to have no expectations?

Expectations are built on past experiences. Even simple things such as When you walk, you expect the ground to hold you. When I open my eyes in the morning, I expect to be able to see. After all, that's what happened every day before.

If this is the case, is 'having no experiences' the only way to have 'no expectations'?

Or does having no expectations mean to not rely on past experiences to define new ones?

--

Anti-rant

Using past experiences to define new ones is a fact of life. How would society function if the near future and every action is utterly and unequivocally put in a state of flux?
Dude murdered 17 women. But that shouldn't be taken into account of what he'll do in the future.

Yesterday I paid for food with a paper bill with the '10' symbol on it. Can I really expect to do the same? i.e. get food, use paper for goods/services trade, believe everybody values and interprets the '10' symbol the same way?

Common expectations provide a structure and stability necessarry for us to function. To idolize 'no expectations' is to idolize chaos.

--

Anti-anti-rant

Glib responses aside, but underlying point is not to ignore past experiences absolutely, the point is that you should strive to find the unique qualities and offerings of new experiences.

It is these unique qualities that make it worth while. It is these unique qualities that make us seek out new experiences. It is these unique qualities that motivate us.

(See what I did there? I tied it back to the blog title. Hooray for on topic posts!)

Monday, May 22, 2006

Videos: Ireland and Sand Sculpting

Finally got around to uploading some videos from my stint in Ireland. Pictures still aren't up yet, but I'm on the verge of giving in to a Flikr Pro account, so maybe soon.


Edited together clips of street performers I came across in Dublin. It was the St Paddy's Day weekend, so apparently there were more buskers than usual.
(link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S9qNiaVu3w)


Edited together an Oasis medley from a great cover artist I heard at Fitzsimons in Dublin. I know the video says it was St Paddy's Day, but actually it's the night AFTER St Paddy's. I'm too lazy to edit and re-upload.
(link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_4gxmi9_ng)


Percussion on the streets. The audio from the camera really doesn't capture it all and the poor bass response of the camera masks some of the subtler beats. This drummer went on for what seemed like 45minutes without any stop. Then he started again after a 5 minute rest. He kept on switching the beats, some were similar, but none were exactly the same.
(link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWEc2rqk1uA)

The following vids are from the "2006 Tournament of Sand Sculpture Champions" at Harrison Hot Springs. I've some pictures too, but haven't uploaded them yet. I think the videos make much more of an impact, especially for 3-dimensional art pieces like these.


"Hide and Peek" (yes, I have a pic of us playing hide-and-seek around the 'hide and peek' sculpture...)
(link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPhr4gcaF5s)


"Princess Power" (yes, I have a pic of me trying to slay the dragon... i mean going at it from behind... i mean... dang, that just came with out kinds of wrong didn't it?)
(link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVG86c3fzCk)

Thursday, May 18, 2006

People like to think in threes

One. Today's the second day I've recently found myself heading unconsiously into Delta as I'm driving from Richmond. First, what is there for me in Delta? Second, it's a hell of a long detour I have to take to get back on track. Third, at least this time I didn't try to walk.

Two. Been having weird dreams lately. First, I'm not your buddy. Second, it's scary how easily that could have happened. Third, I'm serious, that's really not funny.

Three. It's not happening. First, I'm being honest here. Second, move along, nothing to see. Third, stop it, seriously; see, this is what I mean.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

What's the name of this blog these days?

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." ~Milton Berle

"Even when opportunity knocks a man still has to get up off his seat and open the door" ~Anonymous

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." ~Alexander Graham Bell

"Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them." ~Orison Swett Marden

"Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams." ~Anonymous

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Prison Break season finale sucked donkey balls

Honestly, in comparison to how the show started, the finale was dreadful. (Although Haywire + red helmet + "look ma, no hands" = thumbs up)

Review to come.

Maybe... if I get around to it.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Good news?

I wouldn't say it's "good news", but the news isn't as bad as originally thought.

It's not a cancerous tumour. I'm a little iffy on the translation, but I think it's this.

How the docs can confuse a liver fluke with liver cancer, I have no idea. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that a good chunk of the info I got was hyped up paranoia on behalf of my family.

I suppose that shows how much they care. But I can't help thinking that this is just another example of how... ahh screw it; now's not the time for a rant.

Get well soon.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Poetic license biznitches!

Twisted ankle,
Twisted logic.
soccer and excuses

Misled Anglo,
Misled ethnic.
fake accent

Hope-fed uncle,
Hope-fed bioptic.
cancerous future

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Doing my part

shamelessly stolen from Karen's blog:
--

karaoke party, round 1. fight!


Wanna see last night's 5-hour karaoke binge?


Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/horcubee/sets/72057594118626271/


Video clip mania:



Round 2 will be next Thursday at our place [note: this is Karen's place, not mine]. Karaoke mike-o-matic. 2000 songs. 30-person cinema. Projection screen and surround sound.


How can you miss this?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I'm getting restless...

... this can lead to no good.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Reliability and Good Standing

Like a house of cards that takes care and time to build up, one slip up can ruin it all.

Crud, I didn't even start on the second story of my house...

Have to make sure my next effort is positioned on firmer ground.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Apparent contradictions

Yes, I said I didn't like Napolean Dynamite that much because I didn't appreciate the fact that "a lot of the humour seemed forced and as like it's making fun of the pathetic and socially inept," which apparently contradicts my prior actions.

First off, where do you get off comparing the hard of hearing to the pathetic and socially inept? (Hooray for changes of subject and boomerang attacks!)

Secondly, note the use of "forced" in my wording. Napolean Dynamite seemed to go out of its way to say, "hey, look how funny I am" whereas the sign language interpreter was hilariously funny unintentionally.

This might lead one to say that I have a sadistic streak that enjoys laughing at the misfortunes of real people.

I say it's just that I have a knack of finding the humour in real life situations.

I'm special like that.

(Yes, now I'm going out of my way... but let's not turn this post into an analysis of self-deprecation)

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Movie Reviews (Not from a plane!)

I actually don't go too far off-topic this time around.

Two sentence and partial phrase review of About a Boy and Crash:

Part-way through one made me disappointed in myself.
Part-way through one made me disappointed in others.
Fuck nuts.

About a Boy (thumbs up)
Yes, I can see the parallels. It's scary. But it's not always that way. I don't have the English accent or the barrels full of money to fall back on.

I think Rachel Weisz played her part well. It was just a bit part, but very complementary to the plot, characterization, and film overall. Although I think it would have been better had she been left out of the resolution. But I guess they wanted to end on a happy-fun-joy-joy note.

I dunno though... the kid seemed like a total dweeb to me. Sweet kid. But a total dweeb.

Crash (thumbs up)
Racism is a central theme, but the message seems to be condemn the act, not the people.

The main characters are complex: the ones introduced with racial beliefs and acts end up showing redeeming qualities or moments, and even the ones who appear to have the strongest moral compasses will end up make compromises or poor judgement calls.

It's one of those movies that tries to make you think, but doesn't go to lengths to cram its own moral lesson down your throat.

The dialog was well written as well, I thought.

Brokeback Mountain (meh)
Pacing I thought could have used some help. Run time is 2h 14m. Most every scene could have been shortened by 2 to 4 seconds... the movie seemed to drag on.

Also, I really didn't like Jack. I could appreciate the character, just didn't like him. (Yes, I can see the parallels there as well. Shut up.)

I liked the movie a lot more after they left Brokeback mountain the first time. Up to that point it was a nice-ish

The love story itself I don't think was that well developed. Hard to understand how such deep emotional attachments could survived after 4 years of separation and no contact whatsoever.

Or wait... maybe I can. No... no... I really can't. It's the continual contact that makes it hard. If I could just go cold turkey for 4 years...

Napoleon Dynamite (meh)
I was told by multiple people that this would be a movie I would love. That this just screamed "Bruce's sense of humour".

I don't really like this movie.

It's not that I dislike it, I just don't think it's that good. A lot of the humour seemed forced and as like it's making fun of the pathetic and socially inept. I can see why people would think I would love this movie.

Napoleon's dance scene, however, was 4 different kinds of awesome!

--

Darn it, I need to watch a testosterone filled flick (no, I don't mean Brokeback Mountain again).

Sunday, April 09, 2006

(C) Marvin Gaye has the answers to all your problems

"Hey dude, been hearing some rumblings. When you gonna pop the question?"

"I dunno..."

"But you ARE going to, eventually, aren't you?"

"Do you think it's right to promise to spend the rest of your life together with someone not because they're 'the one' but because they're 'the only'?"

"Bullshit. Unless you're the last two people alive, she's not 'the only'."

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't actually. Do you mean she's the only one who laughs at your horrible jokes? The only one who knows you intimately and appreciates you? The only one you're comfortable with sharing thoughts, feelings, and passions with?"

"No, I mean the only one who will do the McNasty with me."

"Oh... this conversation just took a turn for the worse didn't it?"

"The worst part is that it's more like pity lovin' rather than that Marvin Gaye sexual healing lovin'."

"Oh that's a wicked cool song."

"Well, more self-pity. It's like mutual masterbation... not pitying the other person, but trying to feel better about ourselves."

"Baaaby, I can't hold it much longer // It's getting stronger and stronger // And when I get that feeling // I want, sexual healing..."

"I don't think it's very healthy, but... maybe part of me doesn't want to end it."

"Makes me feel so fine // Helps to relieve my mind..."

"It's like I'm caught up in this loop I can't get out of."

"Get up, get up, get up, get up // Let's make love tonight..."

I should end it... I know I should."

"Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up // 'Cause you do it right..."

"Thanks for the talk, man"

"Sexual Healing is something that's good for me // And it's good for me and it's good to me // My baby ohhh // Come take control, just grab a hold..."