Sunday, July 21, 1996

Groom’s Check List

  1. Trade a rock for a paperclip
    • Bonus point #1: Trade the paperclip for a stick of gum
    • Bonus point #2: Trade the stick of gum for a beer
    • Bonus point #3: Chug the beer in 15 seconds

  2. Get $9 in loose change – no bills allowed
    • Bonus point: None. This is your cover for [censored]. You don’t get it, you don’t get in.

  3. Get two pairs of underwear: one ladies, one mens
    • Bonus point: Underwear has stains on them

  4. Get a free round for the groomsmen
    • Bonus point: Free round is for the entire stag

  5. Have 5 people sing a Britney Spears song verse with you
    • Bonus point: They’re all men and they dance to it as well

  6. Do the ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’ bit from Top Gun AND have the target invite you to sit next to them
    • Bonus point: Convince the target to convert to Scientology

  7. Get a lipstick kiss mark (but not on your clothes!)
    • Bonus point: The kiss mark is accompanied by a bite mark

  8. Have somebody do a FULL tequila body shot off of you (body shot + salt on neck + lime in mouth)
    • Bonus point: It’s a guy, and you do the same to him.

  9. Play charades. The answer is: “I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt”
    • Bonus point: Do it again, but this time the answer is: “Best of Sex Starved School Girls #6”

  10. Have somebody propose to you at the top of their lungs
    • Bonus point: None. You lousy two-timer, you!