Concordantly, you are the eventuality of an anomaly

Does this article scare you as much as it scares me?

The gist is that some R&D group in IBM is charged with "building predictive models of their own colleagues" to optimize their deployment.

Two Three A few quick thoughts:

• This type of analysis relies on a complete, or at least fairly consistent, data set.
  
  
• This encourages the type of work process that requires real-time digitizing of our accomplishments, communications, and relationships
  
  
• I'm all for documentation, but do you have any idea how fucking annoying that would be?
  
  It would be like rewarding that douchebag that always CC's half the office, or the ditz that keeps clicking "Reply To All". You know, SEO and all that jazz.
  
  
• Then again, with the growth and popularity of social networks and smart phones, the possibility of this reality may happen sooner rather than later.
  
  
• The commoditisating of people and use of fuzzy quantified metrics as decision making tools instead of decision support tools leaves me with chills.
  
  
• Here's to hoping Big Blue incorporates a blue pill / red pill option in their grand computer model.

The Consulting Mantra

Now it may be because I'm a bit of a closet hippie, but this concerns me:

Obama opposes Bush endangered species proposal

Yes, I'm concerned how seven of the top ten Google results for endangered species proposal deal with Obama's opposition. Why must every political story revolve around this Magical Negro? And if he is the magical negro in this story, isn't his role to support the other, White, presidential candidate? You know, Paris.

Also of note is how the Bush proposal gives federal agencies the responsibility to evaluate the environmental impact of their own projects. Who needs an independent scientific review? Scientists are nerds.

Apparently this was a great success the last time they tried it:

In 2003, the administration imposed similar rules that ... allowed agencies to approve new pesticides and projects to reduce wildfire risks without asking the opinion of government scientists

... internal reviews by the National Marine Fisheries Service and Fish and Wildlife Service concluded that about half the unilateral evaluations that determined wildfire prevention projects were unlikely to harm protected species were not legally or scientifically valid.

Retrieved 2008/08/20 from
AP IMPACT: Bush to relax protected species rules

Why the change? Efficiency.

In recent years, both federal agencies and developers have complained that the reviews, which can result in changes to projects that better protect species, have delayed work and increased costs.

Maybe the way to decrease delays and have realistic cost projections is by incorporating a valid environmental impact analysis in the initial proposal and design, not brushing said concerns to the side.

Oh, I'm just being silly.

I forgot the Consulting mantra: On-time; on-budget; high-quality. Pick two. Or don't, whatever. Just let me know when my expense account is set up, I'll be at the strip joint next door. Don't worry, I'll ask for a receipt.

paris-hilton-yogen-fruz-frozen-yogurt-0609
Photo Originally uploaded by
pressroom

I know there's a meat joke in here somewhere...

Madame Cleo's meets the wrecking ball,

Balthazar becomes Maxime's Hideaway,

and now Wally's Burgers is closing too?

40% of Japanese men sit down to pee, survey shows

Double You Tee Eff?

The survey ... showed that the younger the man, the more likely he is to sit down while peeing instead of the traditional method of standing up.

...

"Women hate it when urine sprays, so there appears to be an increasing number who are asking men to sit down on the toilet when they have to go," a Matsushita Electric Works spokesman said.

...

Matsushita believes mothers getting their young children to sit on the toilet when they urinate are also getting their partners to adopt the same practice.

Japanese guys are so whipped. Be a man and STAND proud!

Although I will say this: Gentlemen, let's be civilized. If aiming fails, have the courtesy to wipe off that seat.

Unless at a public washroom, that is.

In which case it is your manly DUTY to piss all over the toilet seat. It's a reminding note to the rest of the brotherhood to not ever touch the toilet seat of a public washroom.

That shit's just nasty, yo.

Culture Club

I'm missing me some hockey... bad.

I didn't even realise it that much until I saw a replay of the classic 1994 Canucks VS Flames game 7 playoff game on TSN the other day. Seeing the Bure, Ronning, McLean, and even Babych and Momesso all wearing those ugly jerseys (although they are better than the horrid hallowe'en ones) almost brought a tear to my eye and made me aware of an emptyness inside.

I tuned in halfway through the third and was under the impression that TSN was showing the game in it's entirety. As the period came to a close, I went to the kitchen to fix a snack, fully expecting another 20 minutes of play before the climactic second overtime period began. A few minutes later, a cry from the television alerted me to the fact that TSN had decided to skip showing the first overtime period and jump straight to the second.

That's right, I missed both "The Save" and "The Goal". Why must the hockey gods mock me!

I linked to the play-by-play, but they're real media audio files. Sorry about that. But if you're like me and don't want to download realplayer you can still use Real Alternative to listen to them and relive the moment.

Words are few I have spoken
I could waste a thousand years
Wrapped in sorrow words are token
Come inside and catch my tears
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Do you really want to hurt me? (click me)

Deadlines, schmeadlines.

So I just barely missed the deadline to apply to a Telus leadership development program; it would have been a 36 month internship with part of their management team.

The kicker is that my application was completed well in advance, and the written part was quite well done, if I do say so myself. I had even worked in a couple of quotes on leadership.

"A good leader inspires others with confidence in him; a great leader inspires them with confidence in themselves." -- Unknown

"... the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers." -- Ralph Nader

I'm kind of iffy on the effectiveness of them (especially the Nader quote), but they were great in organising my thoughts on "What leadership means to me".

The only thing I didn't do was click on the "submit" button; I figured I had enough time to go over it all before I submitted it. Then my brother enters the room and starts watching "Moulin Rouge" and "Punch Drunk Love", and naturally I get distracted. Two minutes before the 9pm deadline, I hurriedly rush back to my laptop and click the "submit" button only be confronted by a message stating that I had been timed out of Telus' system due to inactivity. By the time I logged back in and filled out the application, it was too late.

Oh the cacophony of emotions that played inside my head these last few hours!

• It's Toonie Tuesday (good!)
• They're out of dark meat (bad)
• I sweet talked the cashier to acquire some from one of the delivery orders (good!)
  
• I missed the Telus deadline (bad)
• Moulin Rouge is entertaining in a psychotically flamboyant fashion (good!)
• The Moulin Rouge DVD was scratched and would only play half the movie (bad)
• The Punch Drunk Love video played perfectly (good/bad... see below)
  
• Punch Drunk Love is pretty boring (bad)

I actually didn't mind Punch Drunk Love, but I couldn't concentrate on it; I was too busy lamenting the fact that I ran out of hot sauce for my chicken.

What's this about a job, now?