Getting restless?

Maybe.

It's always fun when I am.

Not my analogy, but it'll suffice

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the Rowing Team Quality First Program, with meetings, dinners and free pens and a certificate of completion for the rower.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.

The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was "out-sourced" to India ....

Arrr!

When I get married, here's how it's going to play out:

1. It's going to be on a boat.
2. It will be happening in the middle of a sword fight.
3. It will be Geoffrey Rush conducting the ceremony.

(Pirates 3 Spoilers!)


I may be willing to budge on (1) and (2), but damn if I don't love me some pirate Geoffrey Rush.

--

Pirates 3 mini review:

• First half of the movie didn't catch my fancy but the movie grew on me as it continued
  
• Johnny Depp was predictably unpredictably amazing
• I still don't like the Elizabeth Swan (Kiera Knightley) character
• Geoffrey Rush's Barbarossa grows more on me every time I see it
• I still don't like Orlando Bloom
• Bill Nighy's Davy Jones was fun
• I'm still disappointed whenever Chow Yun-Fat speaks English without kicking somebody's ass or making gambling look cool
  

Oh How I Hate Rogers Tech Support

(After being on hold for 43 minutes...)

Thank you for calling Rogers, how may I assist you?

I've lost my cell phone so I'd like to place a stop on all outgoing calls and forward all incoming calls to another number.

Sure Mr. Nguyen I can set that up for you.

Thanks, the number I'd like to forward calls to is...

Actually while I can set up call forwarding for you, you can also set it up yourself. I can give you the touch tone codes, all you have to do is enter these codes on to your cell phone.

(*Pause* is this girl an idjit?) Right, well I've lost my phone so can I set it up remotely from another phone?

No sir, it has to be your own cell phone.

(She is, she is an idjit) Okay... Well, since I don't my phone we can't really go down that route.

Alright sir, so would you like me to set up call forwarding or would you like to set it up yourself?

(*Pause* Deep breath, Bruce, take a deep breath) Yeah, if you could set it up, that would be great. Thanks. (Thinking: Am I talking to a real person or one of those automated voice systems?)

--

Don't get me started on the interactive voice recognition enabled telephone help desk.

Alright, let's give us one last try

It's been a torrid affair between the two of us.

The tantalizing build up as promises are made.
The long passionate nights as promises are held.
The inevitable blasé as promises are broken.

We've been through this cycle countless times now.

This is the last time; I swear it. If it doesn't work this time, it's not going to work ever. I'll accept that. I really will.

But I have to give it this one last go.

One last chance for that happy ending.

I will finish reading this goddamn book.

I've Made Charts And Graphs That Should Finally Make It Clear

Ever wonder what it's like to date a yuppie professional who's used to giving power point presentations? Wonder no more:

Romance: An Analysis - Andy Meyers (June 28, 1996)
(It's a virus free PowerPoint file.)

While there is a time-gap in when the analysis took place, I believe you will find it still relevant to current day and extremely concise in its use of visual aids.

e.g.
A couple of the slides had me laughing out loud.

[Hidden]
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear...
[/Hidden]