The year in review

Test post follows...

"You need to re-evaluate your priorities."

Ironically, this statement has an underlying assumption that you had, at one point, evaulated your priorities in the first place.

Popular wisdom dictates that residing at the top of your priorities list should be your family, your career, and your future; not necessarily in that order. Of course your "future" generally consists of your family and your career. What happened to your dreams? Your desires, your wants, your drive?

My dreams always consisted of me being overwhelmed by an unrelenting horde of spiders. Make of that what you will.

-- First blog post. November 16, 2004

It's recently come to my attention that this blog has recently passed the one year mark with neither fanfare nor introspection.

So the year in review:

Word of the year? Transition.

I realize that I'm in a transitionary phase of my life right now in all aspects. From social relationships, to academics, to careers, to beliefs. In all these respects, I've witnessed an ending of sorts in the last year. In all these respects, I am witnessing hints of new beginnings.

But part of me realises that it's not really a new beginning. It's just a transition. Meaning it's the same, yet different. If it sounds like I'm being vague, that's because I am. Let's see if I'm going somewhere with this.

A new beginning would imply that there had been nothing prior to that point, or at least, nothing pertinent. A fresh start, if you will. But events DID happen before, and to ignore or dismiss them would be foolish. Instead, what you do is continuously build upon them. The transition phase comes into play when you change your building pattern.

Clear as mud? I'm afraid that's as good as it's going to get at this point.

I'm still in transition.

--Transition--

I had existed in complacency for a while. This summer I shook things up a little with various flights, fancies, and flops. I've never felt so wonderful yet miserable at the same time.

I have been unknowingly forming the mold from which to shape my next phase in life. That is a scary thought because as time passes, it grows more difficult to break out of the mold. I want to know what kind of mold I'm creating before I step into it.

-- Transition --

For a while, I lived for others. I had a sense of purpose, but was miserable.

For a while, I lived for myself. I had fun, but found this reckless abandonment of accountability and responsibility to be unfullfilling.

For a while, I tried to live with a balance. Respect for both myself and others. I just got confused and unproductive.

Now, I realize there are other ways to live. Other choices to be made. It's not an either-or world we live in. The current limit on our choices is our imagination.

Mine seems to be fizzing out.

-- Transition --

Of all my bloggings, very few are written with the intention of another person reading it. Well... that's not really true. Let me put it another way. Very few were written with the intention that another person will fully understand it.

In fact, a lot of the time I don't even fully understand it.

edit: I'm just a big ol' wet sack, aren't I? A wet sack of crazy! Wackawackawackawacka