My Personal DNA Report

I usually don't do these... but it's 4 in the morning, I'm bored and jetlagged.

Oh and that low relative "confidence" score below? You fuckers are all liers :P

Linky: My Personal Dna Report

you are a cautious artist.


ABOUT YOU
--
you are an artist

Your appreciation of beauty, ability to think abstractly, and innovativeness make you an ARTIST.

Never one to be tied to a particular way of doing things, you let your imagination guide you in discovering different possibilities.

You would rather seek out new experiences than stick to your everyday habits, taking in as much of the world as possible.

Your eye for beauty and your willingness to consider different perspectives make your creative efforts interesting—even though you may not realize this yourself.

You prefer to think about things before voicing your opinion, considering a wide, diverse range of options.

While there are forms and styles that you prefer, you tend to keep an open mind when it comes to your artistic preferences.

You are curious about things, interested in the "why" more than the “how.”

You have an active imagination that leads you express yourself in a distinct way.

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.

You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

If you want to be different:

Be more open to risks in your creative efforts, and don't be quick to dismiss the praise of others.

Think about how attention to detail may help you be more sure of yourself.

HOW YOU RELATE TO OTHERS
--
You are Cautious

Being independent, practical, and somewhat guarded with others makes you CAUTIOUS.

You tend to keep to yourself, wary of trusting others with personal information.

The values that you hold are central to your identity—you are a very principled person.

You have respect for the natural order of things, and a good sense of right and wrong.

Investigating the world through observation, as opposed to interaction, is preferable to you.

You have an appreciation for those who have attained a certain level of accomplishment, particularly the rare few who have succeeded honestly.

You are efficient—when you work with others, you get down to business, and fulfill your obligations.

You sometimes wish that others would be more like you—less hindered by their emotions, more respectful, and more private.

If you want to be different:

Finding a few close others whom you can trust will allow you to express yourself more openly, and possibly to learn more about yourself.


YOUR PERSONALITY CHART

This chart shows thirteen personality traits. Each bar indicates the percentage of test takers who entered a lower value for that trait than you did. For example, if Confidence is at 80, that means that 80% of people entered lower values for confidence questions than you did. Based on a sample of 30,000 users.

Confidence	LowHigh	16
Openness	LowHigh	90
Extroversion	LowHigh	22
Empathy	LowHigh	34
Trust in others	LowHigh	34
Agency	LowHigh	46
Masculinity	LowHigh	76
Femininity	LowHigh	50
Spontaneity	LowHigh	94
Attention to style	LowHigh	30
Authoritarianism	LowHigh	68
Earthy/Imaginative	ImaginativeEarthy	28
Aesthetic/Functional	FunctionalAesthetic	72

PERSONAL DNA MAP

Below are several personalDNA maps that uniquely represent your personality. Mouse over any part of the box or strip to learn more about the traits that the colors represent.

Cautious Artist

Resolving unresolveds

I'm back in Vancouver. (The answer's still "No")
Forced myself to stay awake until 11pm (7am GMT) (I'm not going to start this with you again)
Then I slept for 8 hours and woke up feeling refreshed. (You're cut off. For reals this time.)
(whenever I type "woke" i end up typing "work"... i suppose the two have been ingrained irrevocably together in my mind...)
But I still don't want to write anything... so here's a blog entry that I wrote 2 weeks ago but clicked the wrong button so it was never posted:

Location: Belfast, Ireland
Date: Saturday March 10
Local Time: 1:08am

I forget what week number this is. Instead of figuring it out, let's just call it Week Guinness!

Note the first:
Yes, I do have news. No, I'm still not sharing (on this blog).

Note the second:
Yes, my goatee is real.

Note the third:
Even halfway around the world I can't get away from your shit. I've moved on, get over it.

Lesson the first:
Don't trust your eyes. It may look sunny outside your hotel room, but by the time you leave, it'll be pouring rain. (Darned crazy weather patterns... experience all four seasons in a day!)

Lesson the second:
Do laundry frequently. You go through alot more clothes when people are allowed to smoke in public places such as clubs, bars, and restaurants. (Forgot how much that sweet, sweet, delicious smell penetrates your clothing and hair)

Lesson the third:
Remember to tell everybody you bring to your room about the automatic mini bar. Move anything off the sensors and you're automatically billed. (Called reception and got it reversed, but it's still just a hassle to do that)

Story the first:
Sat in a bar drinking a harp. Girl walks up, sits on my knee and starts grinding.

Story the second:
Danced in a bar, I make eye contact, she gives me a look, whispers in her friend's ear, points, and giggles.

It's not an "ooh, exotic asian guy" moment. It's a "wtf is an asian guy doing here" moment.

I sometimes forget that I'm not White.

Story the third:
Friday the 10th... best work day yet. Productive and felt important and useful for the first time since I've joined IBM.

Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice To All Creation

It's 1:04am Saturday morning. I have news. Instead of sharing said news, I'll talk of a TV show I caught late one night here in Belfast:

Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice To All Creation.

• There is song and dance,
• There are crazy costumes,
• There is lots of wild sex.

Wild as in wild animal sex. Doggy style is apparently not exclusive to the canine breed. Actually, it appears to be the dominant style in the animal kingdom. (And actually, humans dressed up in animal costumes get it on as well.)

Interesting facts on iguanas:

• Male iguanas have two penises (penii?).
• They also regularly masterbate as to be able to ejaculate quickly when the time comes.
• This is needed because during the act, other male iguanas will come by and shove them off of the female.

More interesting facts on sparrows:

• Male sparrows regularly perform oral sex on their female counterparts.
• This is not foreplay.
• This is to peck out the sperm of the females previous mate.

On dolphins:

• Dolphins are horny, adventerous buggers.
• The bottlenose dolphin is known to do the wild thing with turtles.
• That's right, turtles.
  

On button beetles:

• Button beetle females breed with their sons, who are genetic clones of them.
• Being genetic clones, the offspring do not suffer from the pitfalls of incest because the same sets of genes are passed from both parents.
• This means there is no increased chance of passing on a defective gene as seen in incestuous relationships of other species.
  

On humans:

• Humans are attracted to the scent of people who are genetically different from them.
• This can explain why your brother's fart seems to stink so much more than other people's farts.
• This theory was tested by having men and women wear the same shirt for a few days while excercising vigurously. Then there was a blind smell test.
  

Do the Mario!

Were you hooked on da brothers?
Did you get down and Do the Mario?

Yes on both accounts for me.

If not, then "Well excuse me, princess!"
(Oh shit, oh shit, this is freaking awesome!)

Pretty pretty pictures

Location - Belfast, Northern Ireland
Local Time - 4:05pm

Some people wanted pictures. While I haven't been in a picture taking mood, here's a few. Pictures follow the captions.

Next time somebody tells you that you don't know how to park, tell them you learned to park in Ireland. (Seems like you can park in any direction you like, and ON the sidewalk is better than OFF the sidewalk as the streets are so narrow)


Outside of the empire club. Tuesday night comedy nights draws a huge crowd from the local university. Went there with co-workers Bob and Sahill. It was snowing like crazy. Sandra, Carol, and 3 rounds of Guinness kept us warm through the night... until the ladies ditched us to meet up with some of their guy friends.

Oh well, we still had another round of Guiness coming to drown our sorrows in.


I like the crayon-like snail crossing. Looked like it was part of Queens University of Belfast... the child-care centre maybe? Didn't look too closely.


City hall. A block away from my hotel (Holiday Inn) and right dab smack in the shopping district.



Story time #1:

In efforts to kill some time before dinner, a co-worker and me hit the mall.

As I walk inside, this red-headed lady tells me that right now, everything in the store is 20% until 9pm. I thank her for this information. She then asks if I'd like a free drink? I say that would be great. She then asks,

Would you like some orange juice or a beer?

So there I was, drinking a free beer inside the mall. I made it a tourist moment and had the red-head take our picture. Maybe I should have taken a picture with the red-headed lady that actually gave me a beer... but despite being red-headed, she wasn't that hot.



Story time #2
I have nothing against sign language or the deaf. However, I can't help but laugh when I watch sign-language-closed-captioning that is offered for certain programs on television here in Ireland.

I'm not laughing at the hard of hearing. I'm laughing with them! Check out the video below.



It's as if the dude translating into sign language is some hilarious jerk-off who is making fun of the speakers. It's awesome for all the wrong reasons.

For Your Eyes Only

Location - Belfast, Northern Ireland
Local Time - 3:02pm

I've been told that commenting on my blog isn't working... I tried it out and it appears to be fine. Najin, darling, honeybuns, sausage pie... it's just you. I think you need your pink hippie glasses back, your new ones don't seem to be doing the job.

In retrospect I suppose I had a predisposition to disliking Elizabethtown... Orlando Bloom + Kirsten Dunst + Grumpiness of a 10hour flight in economy-class (should have flown business class). I might give it a 2nd chance later on, but until then my "awful" verdict stands.

And yes I could have emailed this to you instead of posting it to my blog, but... like... same with you... so... nya nya nya.

Book Review: When Heaven and Earth Changed Places

When Heaven and Earth Changed Places: A Vietnamese woman's journey from war to peace.
Author: Le Ly Hayslip

Warning: I tend to drift off topic... as usual.

While the writing style left me wanting - especially after Wayson Choi’s endearingly crafted All That Matters and the entertaining perspective of Style’s The Game - the subject matter and content of Le Ly Hayslip’s Heaven and Earth was quite provocative.

The story recounts Hayslip’s life from peasant village girl to street-wise (or at least, less naïve) urbanite. From loyal Viet Cong beliefs to gradual appreciation for American GI’s, especially compared to the corrupt and amoral Vietnamese bureaucracy.

I had a discussion once with my parents about their distrust of basically everybody, even other Vietnamese people. Actually, ‘especially other Vietnamese people’ and especially when doing business. My father said the Communist government and societal structures not only encourage, but require illicit behaviour if you wish to live well. Really, I just think he thinks every world a person speaks is a lie unless it corresponds to his own thoughts.

Back to the book (kind of), apparently there is a movie rendition of Heaven and Earth directed by Oliver Stone. I watched it back in 1993 when it was released in theatres. I didn’t recall this until after I had finished reading it. Apparently the movie spans both of Hayslip’s autobiographical books (the second being “Child of War, Woman of Peace”) and takes many liberties trying to condense 2 books into 2 hours of film. That probably explains why certain parts seemed eerily familiar as I read through it. At the time, I just thought it was some half-remembered story of my parents that was tickling the back of my mind. The only thing I really remember was a bit part that Tai Thai had in the movie as Jimmy. Apparently it was a big thing that this Vietnamese music star had a 2 second scene in a Hollywood movie. Groan.

So to sum things up? Although I didn't enjoy the book as much as I thought I might (due to a certain somebody's personal recommendation) it's a good read full with insights. Warning: certain parts can get pretty brutal; however, it is never gratuitous.

Week 7 & 8, 2006

Current Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland
Local Time: 10:50am

Items of note:

• London, Ontario:
  
  • Oh Black people. Hahaha.
    
    
  • I disgust myself sometimes. If you only knew.
    
    
  • Food, food, food, food...
    

• Last week in Vancouver
  

  • Said goodbye to Bobo. The teeter-totter of jealousy has teetered; how long before it totters?
    
    
  • Read "When Heaven and Earth Changed Places" then read Tina's email from Tanzania. Conclusion: I'm lucky.
    
    
  • Spas, moisterizer, chap stick, pink shirts, and help shop for tampons. What of it? Wanna fight?
    
    
  • Pet peave: broken implied promises. It's not breaking the implied promise that annoys me, I'm more frustrated at myself for assuming there's an implied promise. Sometimes I think I should stop believing in people.
    
    
  • I begin to wonder "What if I never come back?" For the most part I think I would love it... for the most part, since I would have two regrets. I wanted to address them both before I left. Instead, I talked of one and tried to push the other out of mind.
    

• In Belfast:
  
  • So 2 Sundays ago I got on a plane to Ontario.
    A few days later as I adjust to the time zone,
    I hop on a plane half way across the country to Vancouver.
    A few days later as I adjust to the time zone,
    I hop on a plane half way across the globe to Belfast.
    
    In a span of 10 days, I’ve drank more coffee than I have in my entire life.
    
    
  • There’s a heated debate in Britain about adopting the metric system over the imperial system. What the fuck?
    
    One person argued that you wouldn’t go to France and say you can’t have baguettes anymore. W... T... F?
    
    
  • Fire alarms in either middle of the night or early in the morning equally suck.
    
    
• Movie reviews from high in the sky:The flight was horrid. Dude next to me smelled like fart. I’ve seen a handful of movies on planes.
  
  
  • Elizabethtown
    Awful. Orlando Bloom has no substance to him. I haven’t liked him in any of his movies that I’ve seen. Also, I have a really hard time finding Kirsten Dunst to be attractive. And what’s with that camera clicking motion her character has? Is it supposed to be cute? There’s a fine line between cute and annoying. They should totally kill her off in the next Spiderman movie.
    
    
  • Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride
    Art direction was nice overall, especially the world of the dead. I found the musical numbers to be uninspired and the plot pacing and narrative to be both jarring and plodding at times. Johnny Depp is still awesome.
    
    
  • Shakespeare in Love
    I liked this movie. It’s a unique fictional take on the development of Romeo and Juliet… or Romeo and Ethel and the Pirate King as in its apparent originally intended state. The Queen Victoria scenes stole the show.

Quotes:

• On travel beginnings:
  C:"I'm in a new town, expenses paid.
  I'm surrounded by good people.
  I'm surrounded by good food.
  I'm actually learning something.
  . . .
  I'm feeling like shit right now and hiding in my room
  (okay... maybe not so funny to some)"
  
  B:"why....?
  shit?
  puking?
  or girl stalking you?
  drunk as hell?"
  
  C: "all of the above?"
  
  
• On wink, wink, nudge, nudge:
  "So what are YOU gonna do about it?"
  
  
• On other unholy connections:
  "My personality is like spinach because..."
  
  
• On 'no dude, it doesn't work that way':
  "So you'll have the double whammy!"
  

I know, I know.

I'm doing it anyways.

Afterall, I'm in a different time zone.

Week 6, 2006

Items of note:

• Getting the karaoke itch. Damn you coughing illness! Damn you to hell!
  
  
• I thought my finances looked a little funny.
  I looked over my last couple credit card bills in more detail.
  I pored over my last couple automatic cell phone bill payments.
  Conclusion? Aww, fucknuts.
  
  
• Paper does not burn clean. The charred, blackened remains leave stains you won't notice at first - but sure as Shirley, they are there. Damned smudges. They're everywhere.
  (Don't you dare make Lady Macbeth allusions!)
  
  
• I've have the same handful of recurring dreams for years now. (Spiders, pearl and straw teeth, ninja hijinks, single parenting, and that one where you're running but your legs have no strength and your slowing down because your body is gradually turning into a mush of delicious blueberry jello.)
  
  Anyways, add another recurring dream to the list. There's this thing I'm trying to pull closer, but instead I'm pushing it away. For some reason I think the more I push, the closer I'll get. But alas, a push is a push is a push. I miss you so damn much. I think about you all the time, no matter who I'm with. It's unhealthy. It's unfair. Somebody make me stop.
  
  
• If I go to France... does that mean I have to wear a beret?
  No?
  Well... can I wear one anyways?
  (I'll talk more about this later)
  
  
• Brother's engagement party; fun. Build-up; annoying.
  
  

Quotes:

• On disgruntling real-world experiences:
  C: "hah, so can we gauge future career success in children by their ability to colour within the lines and connect the dots in order? cause that's what i feel like i'm doing"
  
  
• On interrupted sentences:
  B: "I'm going to London (cough) (cough) (hack)..."
  X: "SWEET!"
  B: "(cough)... Ontario."
  X: "Oh."
  
  
• On things that never are:
  "It's not the same."
  
  
• On cutting insight:
  I: "u must be pretty good at picking up girls... but bad at keeping them"
  B: "Is that what you really think of me?"
  I: "I'm half joking"
  B: "Only half?!"
  
  Yeah, I'm not that great at picking up girls either, haha.

Week 5, 2006

"Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle."

- Ken Hakuta

Ken Hakuta brought Wacky Wallwalkers to North America. Damn those were wicked cool. Worked best if you hucked them at mirrors. I can't believe that there's no internet shrine dedicated to this tremendous feat of human ingenuity! Dagnabit people! Show some respect!

Items of note:

• Chúc mừng năm mới!
  
  (To the tune of the meow mix jingle)
  Food, food, food, food,
  Food, food, food, food,
  Food, food, food, food,
  Food, food, food, food.
  
  I less than three this time of year (Dine-out + Lunar New Year)
  
  
• Street signs and billboards talk to me.
  
  
• I thought I was getting better, but all of a sudden it took a turn for the worse. I should probably get it checked out.
  
  
• It's been 17 years. Never again. I promise.
  

Quotes:

• On what makes this time of year so special:
  "I'm a fan of many, but gluttony has to be my favourite sin."
  
  
• On what really matters:
  The "special" quote.
  No, I'm not sharing this one because I know you're reading this, you stoler.
  You stole!
  Quit stoling, you stoler!
  
  
• On unintended consequences:
  Billboard: "Bait cars are everywhere"
  Me: "Quit taking up parking spaces!"
  

[Book Review] The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

(Warning, this review gets tremendously off topic... and LONG!)

Yes, I've polished off another book. It's not a game. From this book, you can see:

• a narrative on the hamartia of apparently infallible idols.
• a warning of the devaluation of people resultant from the deconstruction of behaviours - viewing people not as "human" but as equations of various inputs and outputs to be solved.
• a lesson in evaluating changing goals and the goal fulfillment process.
  
• pointers to help you to "sarge".
• entertaining literary prose and laugh and smile along as you relate to AFC's, one-itis, and the desire to become a PUA.

The main theme I drew from this non-fiction book was as a warning to the dangers and temptations of becoming a social puppet rather than a unique person.

The narrator at one point comes to the realization that his desire to better himself, his friends, and his peers in his community never flourishes because their goals are all different. He wanted to learn so that he can pick up and sleep with any girl he wanted, yes, but also to bring that essence of confidence and execution to all other facets of his life. The others learning goals were aligned differently.

(And the off-topic-ness begins... feel free to stop reading here.)

edit: cut and moved to comments section. I didn't like what the length of the post did to the layout.

(Back on topic... resume reading.)

Oh, and as for the book? I liked it.

[Book Review] "All That Matters" by Wayson Choy

"Why not?"

Indeed.

--

Just finished "All That Matters," a Wayson Choy novel who's setting is Vancouver's Chinatown in the 1930's and 40's.

This time period of societal upheaval (The Great Depression, Japanese invasion of China, WWII) serves as the backdrop for a story that keeps a theme of balancing Old World beliefs and New World logic. The narrative has a sort of to-the-point yet very earnest quality to it that I positively adored.

However, I really don't think I have the time to write a full review that would do it justice, so I'll let Amazon try to say it instead.


(Time to buy Wayson Choy's first novel, "The Jade Peony," which, incidentally, follows the same basic story except from the viewpoint of the three other children in the family.)

Edit: Fucknuts, don't read the review for "The Jade Peony" on Amazon. Stupid spoilers...

(And "When Heaven and Earth Changed Places" just keeps getting bumped on my reading list.)

Week 4, 2006

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.

- Pablo Picasso

I drew a yellow spot today. I can't wait to see what it becomes.

Items of note:

• Finally resumed salsa lessons.
  
  
• Finally resumed cardio training.
  
  
• Finally resumed strength training.
  
  
• Finally got paid - my bank account just jumped up by a factor of 45!
  Finally I can afford lunch.
  (related note: Holy freaking taxes, Batman!)
  
  
• Finally turned off the radio... wait... wait... no I didn't. I just cranked up the volume, baby! FREAK OUT! (C'est freak, c'est chique!)
  

Quotes:

• On competitions:
  A: "So how's it going?"
  B: "Last I checked, I was in the lead."
  A: "So you think you're going to win?"
  B: "Honestly? After 10 days of not shaving, I don't think either of us will be walking away a winner."
  
  (And no, I am not planning on posting any pictures. The sexy ruggedness - or cheesy patchiness - is something that can only be experienced in person.)
  
  
• On causes of memory loss:
  K: "Maybe she slipped something in your drink (wink, wink)"
  B: "Oh, I hate people who do that. Especially when they don't have to!"
  
  
• On SHIT THAT ISN'T YOURS, YOU FUCKTART!:
  B: "Have you seen my Stoli?"
  H: "It's over there on the counter."
  B: "Why is it filled with garlic?"
  H: "I'm making a tincture. It's supposed to lower your father's cholesterol and blood pressure."
  B: "Let me rephrase... why is there garlic in MY BOTTLE OF STOLI?!"
  
  
• On money, money, money, money... MONEY!
  B: "Check out this fat paycheque!"
  C: "Nice. But dude, that's your pre-tax gross earnings. THIS line shows your actual net earnings."
  B: ". . . wtf, I got raped!"
  

Contemplations:

• I think I know who's jacket it is. It should have went in the showbox.
  
  
• I'm really starting to get annoyed by "an"'s and "am"'s.
  (stop mocking me you near-rhyme grammar particles!)
  I do, however, still appeciate a good can of spam.
  (mmm... canned spam...)
  
  
• I liked it better when I didn't earn enough to have to pay any income tax.
  
  
• I keep the promises I make. Just not the ones I make to myself. (I haven't been kicking ass in the right places)
  
  
• I, I, I, I, I.
  

Truly great stories don't have endings...

A brief candle; both ends burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last.

--Charlie Daniels

Week 3, 2006

"Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad."

Christina G. Rossetti quotes (English Poet. 1830-1894)

Items of note:

• Two and a half hour paid lunches are fun.
  
  
• I heart my paper shredder.
  
  
• Shoeboxes burn awfully well, even if it's not an actual shoebox.
  
  
• What's wrong with wanting to kick some ass?
  
  
• Burlesque? Classy!
  

Quotes:

• On drinking and memory:
  "I'm coming over."
  "Are you ok to drive?"
  "I'll walk."
  "To Delta from East Van?"
  "Yep. Wait a minute..."
  
  
• On memories and change:
  "I thought you were bringing your shoebox?"
  "I did."
  "What's with the garbage bag?"
  "That's my shoebox."
  
  
• On change and progress:
  "Remember back when... ?"
  "Yeah."
  "Yup."
  "... still?"
  "Yup."
  "Oh."
  "Yup."
  
  
• On progress and surprises:
  "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
  
  Oh, that still gets me everytime.
  

Doodle doodle

So I'm at work and without an assigned project. What do I do? Listen to mind numbing online training modules, (take extended lunches), and doodle.

The majority are non-referenced. A friend said my personal drawing style comes out when I'm free drawing as opposed to the referenced-sketches I've posted before; a simpler and stylized style.

I say it's just me being lazy since I can never picture proper proportions or lighting effects in my head.

And yes, I realize the irony of using an Accenture notepad at work.

Front of sheet:

Note that there are three (3) hotspots on the above picture that you can click on. Clicking on them will open a new window with large closeups of the sketches (really for my benefit more than any of yours).

I started with snowmen, being inspired after viewing a Calvin and Hobbes Snow Art Gallery. On a semi-related note, I love Bill Watterson. Yes, you read right, I would commit sweet man-love all night long if he would just put out some more Calvin and Hobbes strips.

I started with the shaded snowman on the left. Then decided I didn't like it and went for a more simplified approach.

The coffee cup is referenced from the stuff I drink at work. Was never really a big coffee drinker, but free good quality coffee has changed my mind.

Back of Sheet:

Note that there are six (6) hotspots on the above picture that you can click on. Clicking on them will open a new window with large closeups of the sketches (really for my benefit more than any of yours).

No references used here except for the IBM logo.

I'm a little disappointed in how the head of the draconian figure in the bottom right turned out. More dull-witted and less menacing than what I was going for. Although like most of my non-referenced sketches, I had no idea what I was drawing until part way through. It always starts with a couple of randomly drawn lines which I keep building upon until my mind clicks on an image.

updated 1:25am: fixed broken links

Week 2, 2006

(I snuck Week 1 in a post below... forgot to publish it after I wrote it)

Items of note:

• All expenses paid brainwashing adventure to TO... (1943! 1943! 1943!)
  
  
• Discovered I cheer up too many people. Decided it's about time to make somebody miserable.
  
  
• "On the bench..." (not really that notable)
  

Quotes:

• Me: Hey person one, here's your coat!
  P1 : That's not mine.
  
  Me: Hey person two, you left your coat at my place.
  P2 : No I didn't.
  
  Me: Hey person three, missing a coat?
  P3 : No.
  
  (repeat ad nauseam)
  
  
• Big Blue: Yadda, yadda, yadda, 1943!
  
  (repeat ad nauseam)
  
  
• Me: Cough, cough, hack, hack...
  
  (repeat ad nauseam)

Like a Horse and Carriage

Apparently, drinking and being a consultant for a prestigious multi-national corporation go hand-in-hand. This I tell you brother, you can't have one without the other.

Try, try, try to separate them
It's an illusion,
Try, try, try, and you will only come
To this conclusion

(Local time in Toronto, 10:45pm)

Stuck in a rut

I'm going to stop drinking.

What the heck for?

When my mind isn't occupied with thoughts of gin, it's daiquiri...

Frozen daiquiri or the original?

Original, don't dig the ice all that much. But that's besides the point. The point is that this line of thinking isn't healthy.

Denying yourself what you want isn't healthy, you know.

I can't have it anymore.

Why not?

It's complicated.

Try me.

Let's just say it involves bouts of gut wrenching and self loathing.

I thought you were pretty good with your alcohol.

I thought so too.

And you're usually a pretty happy drunk aren't you?

Yeah, I suppose.

So what happenned?

Things change.

Everything changes.

Some not quickly enough.

... what are we talking about again?

(Local time in Toronto, 11:58pm)

Week 1, 2006

2006 Week 1
Items of note

• January 4th, 2006.
  . . .
  
  
• Happy Birth-week, Debs!
  
  
• Met Laura DiBattista, Co-Anchor of CityTV News
  

Quotes:

• January 1st, 2006 - 2:00am in Vancouver, 12:00 somewhere else in the world:
  "Happy F'n Honolulu New Years!"
  
  
• Karen says White Flower Oil is a variant of opium.
  I say it's a variant of AMAZING.
  Perhaps we're both right.
  
  
• Talking to background while leaving a voice message:
  "You're lucky you're hot!"
  
  
• Eureka!
  "After the fact, my respect for them vanishes. It's really rather pathetic... for both"
  
  
• Me in delirium:
  "Oh honey, you're so sweet. That thing you do with the throat? Amazing!"
  
  
• At the Cactus Club:
  Ladies: "So your both 23?"
  Buddy: "Yeah, that's right."
  Me: "Dude, you're n..."
  (kick, kick)
  
  
• At Yuk Yuks (you really had to be there):
  MC: "Peanut butter!"
  
  
• Always with the dis:
  Me: How did you spend new years?
  She: Nothing special
  Me: Did you spend new years with [him]?
  She: Ya
  Me: I see. yeah, nothing special.
  
  (zing!)
  
  
• On backing out of roadtrips:
  "Do you want me to cancel now? Or wait until tomorrow once [she's] already in your car?"
  
  
• On winter cruises and suntans:
  "Are we talking 'nice tan' or 'omg, you're black!'?"
  
  
• On doing what I do best:
  "So is this the point where we make vague promises?
  

New Years Resolution 2006

I've got it on my bedroom wall to remind me when I wake up and when I sleep.

(It's a quick sketch with a sharpie. If you're going to critique it, you best be ready for a donkey style ass kicking! Wapow!)

I've got it on my phone to remind me when I'm out and about.



That's right, motivate THIS, mother suckaaaah!

A Fresh Start

Let the count begin anew.

One...

(It's not what you think... or rather, it's not what I think you think. I think.)

It's All About Me

"Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure."

-- Thomas Edison (1847 - 1931)

If I'm only mostly satisfied, does it mean that I'm only mostly a failure?

I have said that I am mostly satisfied with the path and direction of my life. Really, I think I have actually just been complacent; dispassioned even.

“If we resist our passions, it is more through their weakness than from our strength”

-- François de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

At first, my new year's resolution was to "be content". On further contemplation, I thought of making my resolution instead to "be discontent". Now, I have decided to make my resolution to "be passionate".

What is my passion?

Gin? Don't be ridiculous... wait... is it?

Make with the clicky

Clickity clickity click.

The Chronic(WHAT!)les of Narnia (SNL Skit)

The internet is for... **** (WoW machinime musical number)

Scorpion (Mortal Kombat) VS Ryu (Street Fighter) (cool flash animation)

Hilarious Patrick Stewart (Picard) skit from HBO show "Extras"

Damn you people, quit sending me web links! I'm trying to be productive (no I'm not. Keep them coming :D)

Yes, more highlighting required.

My Christmas weekend plans?

They involve the following:

• a farm,
• scarfing into a Tom (turkey),
• Monty Python and the Holy Grail,
• mountainous snow (or snowy mountains?), and
• me being out of Vancouver for about 96 hours

Hopefully this will let me clear my head, from images of Christmas past and Christmas present.

Some people know my issues with Christmas past. Forgive me if the season doesn't exactly fill me with cheer every year. Is it because I want what I don't have? No... I'm pretty sure that's not the problem at all. The problem is I don't know what I want... besides you.

OMGWTFBBQ!

The full series of Firefly is now on sale at HMV for $29.99, regular price $69.99. (Ignore what the website says, the price in-store is $29.99 and HMV Metrotown still had quite a few copies in stock today).

Add on to that the fact that the movie (Serenity) is selling for $24.99 and you have the perfect equation for a great christmas gift for any fan of great storytelling (hint hint).

And if you have already bought a gift for somebody, that's still no excuse not to buy this. Buy it, wrap it up, wish your loved one a Happy Wednesday, then relax in front of your TV and bask in the awesomeness that is Firefly.

Oh, and in case you couldn't guess, I love this series.

My Christmas Check List

• Shop for Christmas gifts ............... check
• Shop for Christmas cards ............... check
• Deliver Christmas gifts and cards ...... pending
• Watch A Charlie Brown Christmas ........ check
• Watch Monty Python & the Holy Grail .... Dec 23
  
• Watch It's a Wonderful Life ............ pending
• Read The Lion, The Witch & the Wardrobe. pending
• Read When Heaven & Earth Changed Places. pending
• Read How Murray Saved Christmas ........ pending
• Ski/snowboarding on Mount Baker ........ Dec 26
  
• Have Turkeytastic Christmas Dinner ..... Dec 24
• Attend Festival of Lights .............. check
• Attend Singing Christmas Tree .......... check
• Attend Winter Solstice Lantern Festival. Dec 21
• Attend Christmas party ................. check
• Get drunk at Christmas party ........... check
• Drunkenly hit on women at said party ... check
• Remorse that all I really want is gin .. check

Oh so much to do, oh so much to do.

Oh, and check out Najin's website. She's a local and modest artist, a friendly neighbourhood ninja, and quite the hot tomali. Just be careful not to ask her to marry you.

But they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!

What's your favourite?

Gin.

But you're drinking a daiquiri

So?

There's no gin in that.

That doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer gin.

Alright. So what and gin? How would you want it?

Don't need anything else. Just straight-up, neat, gin.

That's pretty 'core.

I 'spose.

But what about freedom? Didn't you say you wanted your freedom?

We're not having one of those metaphorical conversations again, are we?

Is there any other kind?

You're making my head hurt.

Are you sure it's not the gin that's causing the pain?

Dude... seriously... shut up!

From my blog to your email

I've added an email subscription service for those that don't use RSS feeds but would still like to keep up to date with my blog.

Just enter your email in the form along the right side of the screen and you'll be emailed my blog posts as I write them.

True Story

Last night I was reading in bed. I shifted positions and felt a twitch in my neck which made me succumb to uncontrollable spasms for what seemed like forever but was more likely around 60 seconds.

I woke up this morning at around 7:30am. I didn't get out of bed for another 5 hours. I wanted to get up, but I couldn't.

I physically could not move.

Well, I could still move, but my neck was in such excrutiating pain whenever I tried that I chose to lay in bed for a few extra hours. It's like the muscles that support my head had gone on strike and cried out in protest whenever I tried willing them to work.

There's a metaphor here about support, expectations, and the lack thereof... or maybe prolonged build-up of tensions and unexpected consequences... whatever it is, I'm in no mood to find it.

I just want my support back.
(Is THAT the metaphor?)

To the memory of Lee Matasi

How will you be remembered after the fact?

Three memories stick out in my mind: Scratching on your ghetto blaster... smuggling booze in a pink flamingo prop into the prom... sporting a smooth looking top hat and cane at the prom.

I think it's safe to say that we were no more than acquaintences, really. Friends of friends who never really talked. But still, there's an impact when there is a passing of somebody you actually met and knew in person. Especially when that passing is unexpected.

Shock is what I'm feeling right now.

Rant about media spin and hidden agendas to be respectfully addressed another day.

Rest in peace, Lee.

Please join us this Wednesday, Dec 7, 2005 at Leeside
at 3:00 pm for a memorial for Lee Matasi.
Directions: Leeside is the tunnel under hastings and hwy 1
head down hastings turn right at the playland gates, make your first left go to the end
and park somewhere(its right close to the ecomm building).

There will be a Wake for Lee Friday, December 9th, 2005 at
Anti Social on Main Street.

Please join us for our Monthly Meeting
where there will be a meeting regarding a skatepark to be built
in honor of Leeside Lee - Lee Matasi.

7 PM - Wednesday Dec 7, 2005 at the
Round House Community Centre
181 Roundhouse Mews, Vancouver, BC


Anybody who would like to share their memories and photos of Lee -
Please email them to - secretary@vspc.ca - and we will forward them to Lee's Family.

http://www.vspc.ca/

Bombs away!

Hey, look up!

No.

What do you mean, "no"? Look up, there's a patch of blue sky!

I'll take your word for it.

Dude, just look up.

No.

Why the fuck not?

Because the last time I started looking up... I had a bomb drop on me.

Well, in that case, that's why you should keep looking up. So that you can avoid these "bombs".

No, you don't understand. The only reason the bomb dropped was because I was looking up. It was waiting for me to do that.

Alright, what kind of bombs are we talking about here?

The kind that drop when you're looking up.

I'm looking up and not seeing any bombs.

That doesn't mean they're not there.

... Dude, I'm all for your quirkiness, it keeps things interesting, but seriously... you're fucked up.

Well what do you expect after you get a bomb dropped on you? That's why I won't be looking up anymore. No looking up = no dropping of bombs = this is as bad as it gets. Why would I be looking up if it will only make things worse?

So your goal in life is to not make things worse?

I suppose so.

With that line of thinking, you won't be making things better. If you look up long enough, you'll see that there is a lots more waiting for you than these bombs of yours. In fact, I'm looking up right now, and nothing bad is happening to me.

...

Dude, start looking up or I'm gonna kick your ass.

Fine. [Starts looking up] Oh you fucktart! Incoming! [slumps to the ground]

Dude... you're fucked up.

Contemplations

Keeping an open mind. A good philosophy? In general. But like most things, successful execution is tricky.

Keeping an open mind does not necessitate indecision or being "wishy-washy" with your choices and decisions. An open mind is the the ability and willingness to process new information on which to make better, future decisions.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it"

-- Aristotle

When confronted with new information or a new idea, keeping an open mind does not mean that you accept the possibility or validity of this idea, keeping an open mind means that you will consider the possibility that it is valid. You have a choice of whether or not to accept or reject (or remain undecided about) this information. But keeping an open mind means that once more new information is received, you may choose to revisit old ideas and re-evaluate them. Choice isn't a single fork in the road of life. If you find that you have wandered off course, you can correct it at the next branch in the road... so long as you keep an open mind.

Keeping with this metaphor, your destination is not locked by the path you are travelling on (the same path can lead to many places). Likewise, your path is not locked by your intended destination (many paths can lead to the same place). You can change either the path or the destination, the trick is deciding what to change and when.

Or maybe the trick is realizing that neither the path nor the destination are as important as the journey itself, or how you choose to travel down said path, because, really, that's where all of your time will be spent.

I'm not sure of much, but I think I'll travel the next leg of my journey with a book in my bag, a song in my head, and a skip in my step. A book to learn from because I'm afraid of people. A song in my head to keep me occupied and my thoughts off of you. And a skip in my step to hurry me away from the past. I'm a coward; I don't want to travel alone anymore, but I believe that I will.

Moving On Up

As of 5 minutes ago the following points have been decided:

1. Will quit my current job (the world's local bank)
   
2. Will work a new job as Business Consultant (big blue)
   
3. Will be packing my bags for the T dot (damn you Shawn Desmond!)
   

Well, I'll just be in Toronto for a week for training. But if I say it like that, there's not as much dramatic tension.

And we all know I'm all about the drama.

I haven't seriously doodled since highschool

(Click the pictures for a larger image)

update: 1:19am - added links for absurdly ginormous sketches that nobody in their right mind should want to download.

I don't watch TV anymore, I just have it on the background while I doodle:


Ceramic figure (while watching Veronica Mars)
Ginormous sketch (ceramic figure)


Me and the brother. Vancouver 1983. (also while watching Veronica Mars)
Ginormous sketch (Bruce @ 1 year old)

I don't work either. I just sketch:


Sympathetic figure on the donation can on my counter at work.
Ginormous sketch (Child donation mascot)

(Don't have the can on me so can't do a comparison pic. I'll try to snap a picture next time I'm at work)

(That number in the corner? Part of one of the many bank account numbers and other data I have to jot down throughout the day. Why there's no copy-paste function in the software is beyond me.)


Picture in the HSBC Mastercard application pamphlet. (My favourite of the bunch)
Ginormous sketch (Child & Mother)


Another picture in the HSBC Mastercard application pamphlet. (The most popular of the bunch among people who've seen my recent sketches)
Ginormous sketch (Bridge)


And yet another picture in the HSBC Mastercard application pamphlet.
Ginormous sketch (Island)

A wet sack of crazy!

Do people change? Sure. But not very quickly. At least, real change deep down doesn't happen overnight. Superficial change happens all the time.

It's like trying to dye an onion.

Sure, you can change the surface colour easy enough, but peel back a layer and you see the change was only surface deep. Changing the whole takes a considerable amount of time. When talking of people, I imagine we're talking years.

If you want to change your life, you have to change both inside and out. Change how you think, and change how you act. The key here being the ability to change how you think, not just what you think.

What I think changes all the time. Sometimes it only takes a second. Changing how I think, I imagine, would be a much more profound and life-altering endevour.

(Which begs the question of why you would want your life altered... but that's a whole other jar of nutella.)

If you've always been a heavy thinker, try being more spontaneous. If you've always been quick to act, try being quick to think instead. I've always been a (hypocritical) advocate of change, as I believe there is so much more to learn and experience from new situations compared to old situations slightly altered.

10 years of experience is vastly different from 1 year 10 times over.

In my case, I have always been self-consious of how others think. Now I say fuck it. You suck and I won't care anymore.

I will be the second biggest wet sack of crazy you've ever seen.

The year in review

Test post follows...

"You need to re-evaluate your priorities."

Ironically, this statement has an underlying assumption that you had, at one point, evaulated your priorities in the first place.

Popular wisdom dictates that residing at the top of your priorities list should be your family, your career, and your future; not necessarily in that order. Of course your "future" generally consists of your family and your career. What happened to your dreams? Your desires, your wants, your drive?

My dreams always consisted of me being overwhelmed by an unrelenting horde of spiders. Make of that what you will.

-- First blog post. November 16, 2004

It's recently come to my attention that this blog has recently passed the one year mark with neither fanfare nor introspection.

So the year in review:

Word of the year? Transition.

I realize that I'm in a transitionary phase of my life right now in all aspects. From social relationships, to academics, to careers, to beliefs. In all these respects, I've witnessed an ending of sorts in the last year. In all these respects, I am witnessing hints of new beginnings.

But part of me realises that it's not really a new beginning. It's just a transition. Meaning it's the same, yet different. If it sounds like I'm being vague, that's because I am. Let's see if I'm going somewhere with this.

A new beginning would imply that there had been nothing prior to that point, or at least, nothing pertinent. A fresh start, if you will. But events DID happen before, and to ignore or dismiss them would be foolish. Instead, what you do is continuously build upon them. The transition phase comes into play when you change your building pattern.

Clear as mud? I'm afraid that's as good as it's going to get at this point.

I'm still in transition.

--Transition--

I had existed in complacency for a while. This summer I shook things up a little with various flights, fancies, and flops. I've never felt so wonderful yet miserable at the same time.

I have been unknowingly forming the mold from which to shape my next phase in life. That is a scary thought because as time passes, it grows more difficult to break out of the mold. I want to know what kind of mold I'm creating before I step into it.

-- Transition --

For a while, I lived for others. I had a sense of purpose, but was miserable.

For a while, I lived for myself. I had fun, but found this reckless abandonment of accountability and responsibility to be unfullfilling.

For a while, I tried to live with a balance. Respect for both myself and others. I just got confused and unproductive.

Now, I realize there are other ways to live. Other choices to be made. It's not an either-or world we live in. The current limit on our choices is our imagination.

Mine seems to be fizzing out.

-- Transition --

Of all my bloggings, very few are written with the intention of another person reading it. Well... that's not really true. Let me put it another way. Very few were written with the intention that another person will fully understand it.

In fact, a lot of the time I don't even fully understand it.

edit: I'm just a big ol' wet sack, aren't I? A wet sack of crazy! Wackawackawackawacka

The week in review

Saturday - promises
Made a promise.

Promises. There are two phrases that I am very careful about using. Their meanings are very specific to me and carry a lot of baggage with them. One of these phrases is "I promise you".

I don't make promises lightly and when I do, it is with the full intension to keep them. I'm just forgetful sometimes, is all.

Sunday - marriage
Got away from the kids and spent some time with the wife. Oh those triplets, love them to death, but they'll be the death of me.

Ever commit to something, then when the time comes you say "Oh HELL no!" Yeah, it happens.

And congrats to the lucky couple. Apparently "marriage" is the word of the day.

Monday - drinking pains
Busy at work when when all of a sudden at 1:10pm, "Oww... wtf is this? Oww!"

I only remember having this feeling one other time in my life. So whatever causes it must be very special. The thought then is that if it can cause inexorable pain, does it not possess the ability to do the opposite and cause the heart-bursting levels of joy?

It's a logical falacy. But I think I understand now.

Picked up the phone; decided to make the effort. Then figured the effort was too much and half-assed it.

And for the last time, no I was not drunk tonight... well, I had a nightcap, but that was later on.

Tuesday - wtf x 2
Finishing up a bowl of Bun Bo Hue at 5:55pm... it strikes again. An open window, the Art Institute of Seattle, The Ellen Degeneres Show... wtf is going on?!

Drinking only made it worse. Funny thing? I think I liked it when it got worse. At least it was something, you know?

Amazing cup of hot chocolate.

Wednesday - respect
You have none, yet demand it anyways.

I'm still young gorram it!

I'm beginning to wonder if I have any myself.

Thursday - growth
Free lift tickets at Grouse! Of course, it can't be that simple and they have to run out of both ski and snowboard boots in my size.

Wasn't all bad though. I found out that just like before, I'm still a sucker for a nice Aussie accent. The difference this time? I don't have the excuse of being in a different time zone.

Conversations. I still don't really understand it, but thanks for trying to explain it. I'm sure I'll get it someday. (Actually, I'm not so sure about that)

Took off the bandage. Instead of slapping another on and possibly creating a complication, let it go so that the wound can heal. I'm sure it'll leave a scar, but scars add character!

And so instead of giving in to tempations to regress, I made good on a promise; I picked up the phone.

Cheers

Making you way in the world today
takes everything you've got,
Taking a break from all your worries
sure would help a lot,
Wouldn't you like to get away?

Best TV show theme song in the world.

When I want to get away, where do I go? High up on the mountain tops to play in the snow.

Numbers

14
days until test results come in

9
days until job hunt progress is revealed / days since I made the decision... I think

4.95
dollars under my credit card limit for this month

2
opposing scenarios that I really don't have time for

1
time for your mind, two times if you're tense baby let it unwind

three counts let it bouce to da muthafucking ounce?

I'm no poet

It festered and grew over months
Without warning it bubbled over, and so
I told you.
Revealing myself for a moment
You could see my naked truth, and then
you cut me
And kept a piece for yourself
And now you ask me to wait, to wait
on your reply
Something something yadda doo
To find the what the when the how, the if
I WILL DIE!!!

Ahh, the wonders of modern science. You can pop in for surgery after work and be out before the traffic cop fines your car, but have to wait three freaking weeks for them to play with coloured vials to find out what's going on.

Waiting half naked in a room for what seemed like forever? Uncomfortably comfortable

Local anesthesia that let me witness the doc cutting into me? Very cool

New scar? TBA after I remove the bandage... but assumedly super cool.

Results? Pending.

Egads

Egads. It's going down tomorrow. Putting it all on the line. I need to believe.

BELIEEEEEVE!

They both missed it

What do you want to be?

I don't know. As a kid I wanted to be lots of things. An astronaut, a cowboy, a ninja, a fireman, an author. But as of right now? I haven't the slightest idea.

Let's look at it another way. How about happy? Do you want to be happy?

Well, of course.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I mean, doesn't everybody?

Not necessarily. The way I see it, some people want to be happy while others want to be "not miserable".

What's the difference?

In one, you will actively pursue certain situations in hopes of success. In the latter, you will actively avoid situations in fear of failure. A subtle, but I think important difference. So I'll ask you again, and really think about it this time. Do you want to be happy?

That's quite a loaded question isn't it? I think you're overly simplifying things and drawing presumptuous conclusions again.

I think you're missing the point.

Which is?

... Do you want to be happy?

Dude, shut up.

Deja Vu

Ever do something that seemed to make sense at the time, but in hindsight was the opposite of what you wish you had done?

--

When I first started this blog, it was mainly for myself. A record of thoughts that I could reference in the future. An effort to learn about myself and see the subtle changes that occur over time.

In my last post, I flippantly remarked how my writings from 1997 had the same themes of my current writings. Today, I started writing an entry that seemed eerily similar to one I had written about 11 months ago (My hindsite is 20/80)

Similar, but thankfully not the same. At least not yet. And if I have any say in the matter, things will go different this time.

I believe.

Literary Devices

Rifled through my largish archive of paper last night looking for a past midterm for a friend. Found it, but also found a collection of my poetry from 1997.

Love lost/scorned/won and faux-exoteric ramblings were the main themes. Nice to know I haven't changed much in the last 8 years :P

The thought of posting a sampling crossed my mind, but I think I'll spare you the horror (and myself the embarrassment) unless you really, really want me to (I'm no mind reader, let me know).

On the plus side, it was mostly free-form poetry, which I would like to believe came from a degree of sophistication rather lack of rhyming ability.

Come to think of it, I was given a rhyming dictionary at the time. She said it was to encourage me to keep up my poetry, but maybe it was a hint to write better poetry.

Oh come on, I was 15, what do you expect?
Wait, she was a year younger than me, who was she to judge?
Oh come on, I'm 23, can't I just let it go?

--

I hope I never find my short stories collection that dates back even farther. I remember them as being quite good. I was even published once... kind of. Part of me assumes that if I were to read them today, I'd see myself as quite the hack.

Hmm... looks like I need a little help believing.

Misguided Interpretations

• Richness of medium.

A picture is worth a thousand words. And face-to-face contact is worth so much more. Or rather than "worth" so much more, perhaps I should say "can mean" so much more. Just as the written word can have multiple and hidden meanings in the hands of an adept scribe, so too does face-to-face contact. Body language, tone, and other subtle signals can communicate so much more. But in this process, do messages get confused amidst all the signals? How do you separate the noise from the signal?

Noise is inherent in all communications. Vocal and behavioural ticks and overtones are typically much more difficult to convey in written communications than in person.

Acknowledging this, we need to take into account the medium as well as the audience in all communications in order to deliver a clear message. But what if you want to be subtle and possibly misunderstood? That's fine. But you should still take heed of the medium and audience so that you come off the way you intend.

• Intent.

Does intent matter? Or is it inconsequential to the actual deed? I would put intent secondary to the actual deed.

I only care about why you did it or did not do it after you did it or did not do it.

You dig?

Discussions

Quote of the day:

"Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities."
- Aldous Huxley

I interpret this quote to mean that you shouldn't chase happiness, you should discover it. Happiness in itself is quite a lofty and vague goal. If you can't see the finish line, how are you going to get to it? By chasing after it blindly, you may unknowingly run right by it.

But enough of allusions and metaphors, let's get down to the nitty gritty (sorry).

If you have already discovered what will make you happy, chase it. Chase it with all your might.

--

Speaking of discoveries, had a discussion about art recently. Talked of how artistic technique can be divided into two schools that we termed "expression" and "discovery".

Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime.

Watch this movie (Serenity)

As some of you may know, I am a huge FireFly fan and I loved the movie (Serenity). For those of you who haven't watched Serenity yet, here's a link for the first 9 minutes of the movie. I hope that it will pique your interest. And if you can't find anybody to go to the theatre with you, I'm not adverse to seeing it for a second time.

Although I've been bursting at the seems for a while, wanting to chat somebody up about the movie, I will continue to refrain from posting any spoilers on this blog. Call me up or msg me if you want to talk Serenity, because I certainly do. (I'm like a leaf in the wind... [sniff])

I will however raise some issues I have with the marketing of this movie. Put quite plainly, it sucked.

Edit: Moved rant to comments section. I don't like long posts. And no, I'm not subtley trying to get people to post comments; I'm trying to artificially increase my site hit numbers :P

So to end this overly long post, watch this movie. I guarentee it's better than the trailer implies. Previous knowledge of the tv show is not required for enjoyment, although it would make certain scenes more powerful.

Curby's Believe It or Not

Belief.

A strong belief in something, no matter what it may be, can be a great source of strength. If you watch people who have a strong belief in something, you will be amazed at the feats they are able to do in the name of that belief. Putting a man on the moon, uniting and/or overthrowing nations, even achieving celebrity-status could not have been done if somebody did not truly believe in something, whether an ideal, a goal, or a person.

But what happens when the foundations of your belief are shaken? Does your strength wane? Do you irrationally try to justify your belief? Have you now lost your strength and direction, wandering aimlessly now until you can renew your belief in something else? None of these scenarios is particularly ideal.

Following this way of thinking, one may want to put their belief to only that which is irrefutable, or that which if happens prove to be false... well... things would suck so much that wandering aimlessly doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

So what are these things that we can put undying faith in? How about yourself? Descartes' A Discourse on the Method talks of how when all uncertainties are removed, all that remains is yourself as a thinking... thing.

"I think therefore I am"

If you believe in yourself - truly and wholey believe in yourself, your existence, your worth - you will be able to accomplish amazing things by drawing on strength that can never be taken away from you.

Believe it.

Oh sh--!

You're a diaper.

Excuse me?

You're a diaper.

Alright... And how does that work?

You said that you'd support and help me whenever I came across a load that I couldn't handle myself.
You promised me no leaks; you said I could trust you with anything.
You promised to luvs me and said you would pampers me with huggies.
But now in the end I find that you are just full of shit.

True, I am just about full of your shit.

Add ice to salsa and a dash of vagueness

So after years of talk, I finally had my first salsa lesson from Karen last night. Had fun. Doing it again.

The goal? Eventually rid my inhibitions and work my way up to the hip-hugging goodness of bachata.

Art galleries, orchestras, and dancing... what's happening to me?

In other news, CANUCKS WON THEIR SEASON OPENER BABY!

[ahem]

In yet other news, I wrote a short essay on confusion that arises from attempts of subtlety. Then I deleted it. I decided that aside from the stated message of differing interpretations necessitating clarity in communication, my ulterior message was, ironically, too subtle.

So in plain language I'll say it.

Only a part of me doesn't want to lose.

(Irony!)

Remixed Movie Trailers

I don't know how some people can claim that The Shining is one of the best horror flicks around. It looks like a family friendly movie to me.

On the other hand, I'd say the frightful streets in West Side Story seems like a new take on zombie movies while Titanic is a standard horror flick.

(Apparently, all three come from "an assistants competition in recutting a trailer of a movie in a different genre". I've traced the links back to this blog (see Sept 29, and Sept 26). So credit where credit's due)

Bruce Lee & Cat Fights

Have you seen Bruce Lee's 1964 screen test? Dizzamn! Too fast for the camera!

Random Bruce Lee fact: Bruce Lee was the Cha Cha Champion of Hong Kong in 1958. He worked part time as a Cha Cha instructor for a short time when he returned to San Francisco in April 1959.

--

Kitten War! How can you people say dogs are better than cats?


The wonderful thing about Tiggers, is that Tiggers are wonderful things...


"I'd like it wrapped up, please"

New record?

Three days.

They say "nothing lasts forever," I know that and I'm fine with that. But who would have thought three bloody days (and 5 hours).

Fucking eh, eh? Eh.

Entertainment Value

There's a new Grow puzzle game over at Eyemaze called Grow Cube. Took me about 30 minutes to solve it, but I was loved it every second. I blogged about other Eyemaze puzzle games previously.

Speaking of games, I'm an adventure game junkie and one that I'm particularly looking forward to is Indigo Prophesy (AKA Fahrenheit outside of North America). Played the demo, and I'm very intrigued.

Still on the topic of awesome stuff, Serenity is coming out on Friday September 30th. It apparently continues the story of one of my all time favourite TV series, Firefly (which Fox in its infinite wisdom cancelled after showing only nine episodes out of sequence).

Let me make this clear now: If this movie isn't a resounding box office hit, and I find out that you did not pay for a movie ticket to go watch this movie, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU IN REEVER-LIKE FASHION! No power in the 'verse can stop me!

If you ask nicely, I may lend out my DVD version of the series.

And if you can sing the song of the Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne, forgive me if I say I think you're awful shiney and want to bear your man babies.

(Hooray for Firefly references!)

Teach a man to fish...

I keep talking to others about how you should not expect change to occur overnight, yet I'm guilty of doing the same. I suppose what I should be preaching is that only expecting change does very little to enact change. If you want the change to happen, you should be proactive about it; meet it head on.

-- Posted May 2, 2005 (link)

I don't need a helping hand so much as I need motivation. I know this. I want this. Yet I don't do it.

Could it be I don't exactly know how?

Somebody teach me to fish.

* * * * *

Why do you like dirty things?

It's not dirty, it's "rustic". I think it's cool.

Given a little more thought, a rustic appearance gives me the feeling that it's been lived in... used, if you will. As if it had a purpose, fulfilled it, and is now taking a well deserved rest from the pristine regulations and requirements that previously commanded it. I suppose I see it as the symbolic representation of an ideal progression through the various phases of life.

Where others see dirt and rust, I see analogies and opportunities for self-righteous philosophying.

I believe I've partaken of this fish too often; I need to learn to catch another kind.