I'm a big kid now!

I'm a one-way sponge.

Wait... wouldn't that be a diaper?

Yes, I'm a friggin' diaper.

Although I'm happy that people feel as if they can confide in me, I seldom return the gesture to the same degree. It's not that I do not want to share, because I really do, but for some reason I keep all this crap sealed up within my being. Commitment and emotional intimacy problems abound, what it all boils down to is that I'm a coward. I've gone to such ends and pushed so many people away mearly to avoid... what? Embarassment? Disappointment? Heartbreak? No, just to avoid the unknown. No, that's not quite accurate. I think it's more to avoid dealing with the unknown. It's not the uncertainty that I'm afraid of, as much as it is the trails I associate with adaptation and change in the face of uncertainty. Who was it that said courage is not the absence of fear, but the will to act in the presence of fear? I am not a courageous person. Deep down I'm a timid, weak, fearful piece of shit. I'm not a diaper, I'm the fucking shit that stains the diaper. I'm the retarded little kid that never attends sleep-overs because he'll be covered in his own shit by sunrise.

I'm a big kid look what I can do, I can wear big kid pants too...