Inner Monologue Exposé!

Sometimes people ask me what's on my mind. I usually reply with a "nothing, really" or a "don't worry about it."

Here are a few thoughts that passed through my head this last week:

Watching TV:

I hate Tweety Bird. I hate Tweety Bird with a passion and the only reason I watched Looney Toons as a child was for the small glimmer of a dream that Sylvester would finally get his paws on Tweety and him shut up for good.

On the road:

If I swerve off the road... would that shut him up? No, his bitching would probably just get worse.

Unless it's such a fantastic collision that at least one of us bites it. Then either he won't be able to talk or I won't be able to listen!

Genius!

Wait a minute... what if we both bite it and I end up listening to him for all eternity?

...

Better not risk it.

Over dinner:

I wonder if jamming this chopstick in my ear would be too subtle of a hint.

Over another dinner:

Don't stare at her breasts, don't stare at her breasts, don't stare at her breasts, don't stare at her breasts, don't stare at her breasts, don't stare at her breasts, don't stare at her breasts, don't stare at her breasts, don't stare at her breasts...

...

Okay, just a quick peek...

Rollerblading the seawall:

If I were a piece of wood, what kind of wood would I be?

Moving day:

[Rocking out to various songs in my head]

Is someone getting the best,
the best, the best, the best of you
(Best of You - Foo Fighters)

Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales
and we stare at the beautiful women
She's looking at you...
Oh no no she looking at me
(Mr Jones - Counting Crows)

Dream on, Dream on, Dream on, Dream on,
Dream on, Dream on, Dream on, AAAHHHHHhhhHhhHHhhHhh!
(Dream On - Aerosmith)

At work:

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...
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I'm really not that bright or interesting.