"Na."
It's like calling me Bruce... well, that doesn't really work since my name only has one syllable.
It's more like calling me "bee" instead of Curby.
[hidden]
Actually, it's been a while since I've ran in to anybody that calls me Curby. Funny, the process in how nicknames disappear from your vernacular.
[/hidden]
Sorry for the spam everybody, but it's for a good cause, I swear!
My friend Amanda is in the running for Maxim's 2007 Hometown Hottie, so go vote for her! (Definitions of a 'good cause' are rather lax in my books)
Direct link to her page: http://www.maxim.com/hotties
Link to 2007's voting gallery in general: http://www.maxim.com/hotties
I promise I won't spam you all again unless you've requested it ('Life & Times of Bruce' emails) or another hot chick asks me for a favour after I've had a few beers.
Remember that house of cards?
Finally gotten around to rebuilding the foundation. Feels nice.
On confusing names and email addresses:
QT: Hi, remember me?
BN: Hey Tina
QT: I miss you very much!
QT: ...
QT: Who's Tina?
On relationships with inanimate objects:
ML: I guess you two were never meant to be. A sad tale of woe, is Bruce's relationships
On No Stairway?
"Denied!"
On this isn't the first time I've heard that comparison:
BN: I am NOT an imitation of Barney
On well at least he's got good taste:
AR: I think his idea of "girlfriends" and our idea of "hookers" are one and the same.
On seriously, this is for your own benefit:
BN: I'm all for playing wing... but dude, gotta warn you, you've totally got your beer goggles on.
Last night, just like last year, I had my shirt, my hat, and my randoms. (But not my camera, whoops)
Good night, even if I called it early. It was no Fitzsimons, but not many places are... it may just be the Guinness talking, but I kinda miss Ireland.
Quotes
On persistent office gossip:
"Is your fiancée coming out tonight? She's still in town, right?"
On text messages that wake you up:
"So I just got diagnosed as clinically depressed..."
On death cabs and cuties:
"Okay... I think... I think I'm drunk enough to drive you home now."
Internal Monologues
On relations:
Every time I think things can start working well between us you say something like that. Then I remember what I promised myself.
[hidden]
I don't trust you; I don't respect you; I won't cut you out of my life.
It's been twenty some-odd years, trust me, I've tried all three.
[/hidden]
On revelations:
I continue to grow, making steady progress grappling with violent childhood traumas. First dogs, then swimming, now tofu. To complete the superfecta: Birthday cakes with the fruit layer in the middle *shudder*
[hidden]
Yes, VIOLENT childhood traumas, all. For serious.
[/hidden]
On revolutions:
I've got these sun spots where my art used to be,
I've got these sun spots where my art used to be,
Whoa-ooaa (It got sold, it got sold, it got sold),
Whoa-ooaa (It got sold, it got sold, it got sold)...
[hidden]
Yes, I learned what the actual lyrics are. I like my version better.
[/hidden]
Victoria --> Seattle --> Vegas --> Indio, CA
Hooray for pent up vacation time and pent up RAGE!
Not everything is about you.
But that one was.
I don't apologize for thinking it.
But I do apologize for posting it. I knew you'd end up seeing it, I even partly wanted you to see it.
In retrospect and with a clearer head, it wasn't as funny as I thought it was.
I realize this now, and I apologize.
Sorry.
[Hidden]
Will call you thurs night, tell you plans. our Saturday plans won't be cancelled, but you'll have forgotten about then and happen to have made other plans. Have free time in afternoon until... 6pm. But will say you only have until 4pm, and will want to leave around 3pm. Will get up late around 1pm. Won't actually meet up unless I make it out to you.
[/Hidden]
Some people are so predictable, it's disappointing.
Yeah, I'm already making other plans :P
That's just the way it's got to be...
You know what I find irresistibly attracting? Hint: it's not white lies and subtle deception.
When we plan to meet up, it's because I want to see you. I'm not there to listen to that guy that always seems to be around, spouting of his narrow view of how we should relate, of how our relationship should work.
Seriously, dude's gotta stop cock blocking.
That's it, I don't need it and I'm not so sure that you're worth it.
Call me again when you lose the douche.
[hidden]
I'm sorry, religion, but that's just the way it's got to be.
[/hidden]
--
"I don't want to say"
... is a perfectly acceptable answer.
Naturally, this answer doesn't preclude the other person from continuing to try and pry... hmmm... is that why people lie? To avoid follow-up questions and assumptions that go with it.
Of course once you're caught in a lie, even worse questions and assumptions will follow suit.
Where's the respect?
--
Like brothers on a hotel bed
B: I don't know why I said it.
C: Yeah, you do.
B: It's not about that.
C: Come on, this isn't the first time something like this has happened.
B: Please, that's totally different.
C: Dude, you said it twice in 3 minutes.
B: Whatever.
C: Dude, just admit it.
B: Never.
[hidden]
... but this time it's not me.
[/hidden]
Quit stealing my lines, foo!
I fought to get an extra day in Vancouver.
I wanted to spend it with you.
I worked extra hours to make the time.
Finally, things were sorted out.
I picked up the phone.
I dialed the number.
That chiming ring...
My heart murmured with excitement.
Then nine little words formed a mill,
crushing my spirit like peppercorns...
"The Shins Feb 19th show is already sold out"
My crushed pepper spirit leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
I've been lackadaisically looking for art pieces for The Pad. In the process, plans for Sakura Blossom Robots and commissioned koreanninja murals have languished by the wayside.
Finally, I think I've found the art style that I've been looking for.
I simply adore John Lytle Wilson's work.
Of course his exhibitions are all on the East coast and the cost for an 8x4 artpiece are most likely woefully out of my price range, so I suppose I'll have to rely on Plan B:
AA: Love's a strange and fickle creature; hey, do you think love's a she or a he?
CF: A 'she' because love is crazy *grin*
Or maybe a 'he' because love is stubborn...
No, wait... that's still a 'she'...
--
"Why not?" indeed.
Convenience trumps [it] every time.
--
ST: I was only told that before [her], you didn't believe in love. Which implies that after [her], you did.
BR: Not quite... it's more that before [her] I believed that I had already felt love. Now I'm not so sure.
--
KH: "[My Husband] thought you were just wanting to get in my pants. Sorry, would have let you crash here if we had been awake / gracious enough to answer the phone."
--
BL: Will you be part of my friend test.. if ever I date a guy serious enough to go through a test?
BN: As the guy friend, count on me to take him to a strip bar, get drunk, and hear the real unfiltered scoop from him *thumbs up*
How did "2 to 4" become "6 to 8"?
I suppose I can make an exception for people flying in from out of town. Dinner Party at the Pad!
Now where'd I put my "Kiss the Chef" apron...
--
I keep talking to others about how you should not expect change to occur overnight, yet I'm guilty of doing the same. I suppose what I should be preaching is that only expecting change does very little to enact change. If you want the change to happen, you should be proactive about it; meet it head on.Different context, same sentiment. I'm tired trying to be proactive, can't you do it just this once?-- Posted May 2, 2005
EPIPHANY
[composed rants and raves of grr's and arg's]
Dude, quit acting so jealous. It's unseemly.
What?! I'm not jealous, what I'm talking about is... I'm not j... shit... fuck me... It all makes sense now.
*slow clap* Let's give it up for Captain Oblivious
--
PERCEPTIONS
You're driving a car.
The person next to you is staring out the side window at the bunnies and puppy dogs playing in the snow. This person thinks everything is fine and dandy.
You're looking down the road trying to navigate this darned jalopy and keep it on the road.
Heh, jalopy. That's a funny word.
--
KRIS-TOE-MAS
Guess what I got for Christmas!
. . .
Yes, more Starbucks / coffee related goods. But that wasn't what I was talking about.
. . .
Yes, more booze related goods as well. But that wasn't what I was talking about.
. . .
Oh I'll just tell you, it's www.brucenguyen.ca
=O
Following your gut
I shouldn't have changed my flight schedule. Should have stuck with the original plan.
Note to future self: Being snowed in is not a divine sign.
Like, srsly...
Did somebody stick a "Set me up with your friend" sign on my back? Cause I'm not meaning to be advertising. In fact, I'm not even for sale.
[hidden] I'm for rent *wink* [/hidden]
All I want for Christmas...
You always want what you don't have?
But if the only thing you ever wanted is something you never possessed, does that support the theory or does that just make it coincidental?
My gift giving mantra
I have a list of 'must-gift' (family, mainly), then I have a list of 'like-to-gift'. If you're on my 'like-to-gift' list, I'll only gift you something if I happen across that ideal item. No gift-giving for the sake of gift-giving.
So if you don't receive a gift from me this year, it's not that I wasn't looking for one, it's that I couldn't find one that would do you justice
[hidden] ... because I wasn't looking hard enough, haha [/hidden]
Also, for my 'must-gift' list, my mantra is if you can't find a gift that's meaningful, give a gift that's regiftable.
I think I'm in love...
You're petite, incredulously cute, and possess a wicked imagination.
At times you can be shy - even naive - and find it hard to express and deal with certain emotions. Yet you are one of the strongest person I've seen, able to take initiative and follow through when you find something you're passionate about.
One of the most selfless persons I've ever seen, you can also be quirky and mischievousness at the same time.
A short time spent with you leaves me smiling for hours.
Who are you? You are Amelie Poulain.
Yes, I'm a little late to the party. Sue me. Break me. Shake me. Hate me. Take me over.
The appeal of Amelie as a character derives from the spoken narrative as well as journeying as an invisible third party by her side. From outward appearances, somebody like Amelie may seem... kind of weird and creepy, actually. But because we see this intimate narrative, we have a deeper understanding of her.
Without that narrative and following along her life, would you have cared about or even noticed Amelie? If not, then what other opportunities are you missing out on because you never thought to give the other person a chance?
Then again, Amelie does strike me as one of a kind...
[hidden] I would *so* do Amelie in a heartbeat :P [/hidden]
Somebody asked what I want for Christmas. I answered:
"A story.Yeah, that didn't make much sense to me either. But I suppose if I were to try and derive meaning from it, it would be that I don't want the gift per say, I just want to know the story behind the gift.
In a box.
Wrapped up all pretty-like.
I'll hold the gift up to my ear and shake it gently in my hands. Tiny whisperings will leak out from the cracks; teasing with faint hints of an epic story that's begging to be told.
A story in pictures, a story in words,
A way to say what's yet to be heard.
Make use of a brush or the rhythm of rhyme,
To a song or a melody, I'll never say 'nein'."
"It's not a roll of pennies, it's piggy-bank bacon. I wanted to amalgamate your apparently contradictory passions for pork and protecting wild life. *smile*"
"I made this see-saw figure for you. Do you remember what see-saws represent?"
"[edited out since I'm going to put this in a Christmas card :D]"
Paving Roads
What is the impetus for creating roads? These days, we know where a road will lead before we build it.
But let's step back to a time before roads were paved with tar.
Step back again to before they were compressed compounds of dirt.
Step back to when they were but paths etched out in the grassy plains through repeated travels.
Step back to that first step that would forge a new path that would build a road that would grant access to untold opportunity.
Was was the impetus for that first step? Survival? Wonderment? Disillusionment?
Honestly though, who the fuck cares?
--
I can kill you with my brain!
Guy beside me in class: "Wait, wait... stop right there. Just let me... reflect on this... ... ... ... Oooohhhhh! ... ... But wait..."
Me: If we all concentrate really, REALLY hard, I think we can choke him to death with our brains!
--
Christmas Gifts
It the thought that counts? Bullshit.
To paraphrase a movie quote: Deep down you may still be that same great person you used to be. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you.
If you really care about somebody, don't get something for them, do something for them.
Yes, I know 'getting something' is technically 'doing something'. But it's the motivation and reason behind it that really... aww fugnuts. I guess it really is the thought that counts.
--
See-saws
Relationships are like a see-saw. To really make it work, you both have to have the same weight invested in it, you both have to push, and you both have to trust the other isn't about to jump off without warning.
Yadda, yadda, [insert amateur analysis] yadda [insert thinly veiled metaphor for my current state of mind] yadda yadda.
--
Conversations
[Insert edited-real-life or completely-made-up conversation dialog that's really a thinly veiled metaphor]
--
Las Vegas
It's alright. But it just doesn't compare.
Not even close.
There are lots of other events and shows, Festival of Trees @ 4 seasons, Carol Ships cruises, Xmas @ Burnaby Village, etc, but the following are typically my mainstays
[hidden] Yes, because most of them are free. [/hidden]
40th Annual Singing Christmas Tree Musical
Date(s): Fri Dec 8 to Mon Dec 11 AND Fri Dec 15 to Mon Dec 18
Time: Various times
Cost: Free
Location: Broadway Church (2700 East Broadway)
Trinity Street Lights Competition
Date: Mid December-ish
Time: After sunset
Cost: Free
Location: Trinity Street in East Vancouver, between Renfrew and Nanaimo
Festival of Lights
Date(s): Fri Dec 15 to Dec 31 (closed on Christmas Day)
Time: 5pm - 9:30pm
Cost: $11.65 per person or $22.30 for a 'family' of four.
Location: Van Dusen Botanical Gardens (5251 Oak Street)
Winter Solstice Lantern Festival
Date: Friday Dec 22
Time: 6pm - 10pm
Cost: Free
Location(s): West End, Yaletown, Granville Island Strathcona/Chinatown, East Side/Commercial Drive
If the last couple years are any gauge, I'll also be watching, "It's a Wonderful Life", hitting the slopes at least once, and mourning my pitiful attempts to create that perfect batch of hot chocolate.
And I'll probably be on a farm.
So I spend 30 minutes trying to call a cab to get me to my helicopter, but my phone's auto-redial isn't being able to cut through the incessant busy signal.
Not wanting to waste any more time, I wake up my friend, we hurriedly drive to the heliport, and I leave my car keys in her care until I return in 4 weeks time.
I make it to the heliport 2 minutes before my scheduled departure.
"I'm sorry sir, all flights have been put on standby until at least noon"
. . .
So you're saying I can crawl back in bed now? =D
[hidden] A pessimist would have said, you mean I could STILL be in bed right now? I'm always the optimist *grin* [/hidden]
1. Ageless mind dwarf exercise
2. Kick Bud Trexler
3. A Gentleman's dim lighting footprint
Oh, such fun fun fun times... [hidden] I'd like some smart-ass to go with my sarcasm, please [/hidden]
Work is sending me to Las Vegas for a couple weeks in late November / early December.
Instead of flying back to Vancouver for the weekends, I'm considering flying straight from Victoria to Vegas, then once that stint is over, flying straight back to Victoria.
That means I may not be in Vancouver for the next month or more.
*shrug*
Can you give me a reason to come back to Vancouver?
... to the day.
How would my life have been different? How would I have been different?
[hidden] Do you ever unconsciously start poking at scar tissue? I can't imagine that it's healthy, but it sure is addictive. [/hidden]
So a consultant, a dental assistant, and a concierge walk into a bar... oh, have I told you this one already? Never mind then. Let's talk of things I like.
Hidden smiles
You know the ones. Where for some reason or another, you're trying to hold back a smile. But you can't. And all of a sudden it's unleashed in a big toothy grin.
Rebellious, lone strands of hair
And the plucking thereof.
Unpredictability in others
I think I understand people, their motivations, and their tendencies. I like to be shown wrong every now and then. Keeps me humble. I haven't been very humble lately.
Long-ish hair (clean)
Full, pleasing locks flowing through my fingers.
1st times
That beating heart, sweaty palms, and rush of adrenalin creating a mixture of excitement and anxiety... Do you remember your first time? The vivid, almost overpowering sensations... the sweet fragrances that seemed to fill your senses... the feelings... the textures... the tastes...
Oh, to re-experience my first corossolier + condensed milk drink or my first rambutan.
[hidden] Freshly pressed apple juice is cool, but it just doesn't compare. [/hidden]
This blog is turning two years old. The word that summed up Year One was "Transition". The word or phrase that encapsulates Year Two?
"What if." [hidden] Actually, that's just the word or phrase that captures this particular moment of reflection [/hidden]
What if I moved out?
What if I grew a goatee?
What if I could really believe it?
What if I tried a different career path?
What if she could be celebrating her 10th birthday?
Ended up doing the first, trying the second, mistiming the third, and discounting the forth. As for the fifth? Well... that one is purely hypothetical.
It's hard to believe it's been that long.
As I'm working at my desk, they're taking down a wall no more than 10 feet from me. Sledgehammers, drills, and other assorted tools make a cacophony of noise that fills the air. A thin layer of an impromptu plastic barrier - while helpless against the noise - proudly stands guard, protecting my computer and work area from an attacking cloud of dust and debris.
I stare intently at the labourers.
I can't help but think...
Damn, that's a cool job.
Question: What is your driving goal in life, or ideal attribute for life?
BL: "Stability"
ML: "Randomness"
BN: "Energy or passion"
Oh shit. Yes, I do.
No... must... not... analyze...
Fuck... too late.
Huh... I'm still smiling. Whodathunk?
[hidden]
Password hint to decrypt the text below?
It's your name plus how you respond to me when I greet you with: 'boo'
If you guess wrong, then it's not for you, I suppose.
Oh, and javascript needs to be enabled.
[/hidden]
Click here to Decrypt text below
Just realized with the move to the new Blogger Beta, all my posts had to be converted to the new system... meaning my archive of all my old blog layouts is gone.
Well, fuck.
I liked the header I had before with my pictures in it... And really, all the posts about layout changes and tweaks make no sense anymore.
[hidden] As if my posts routinely make any kind of coherent sense. [/hidden]
Okay, seriously. Sleep. Try it. Now.
Yeah, remember this? If not, refer back to the original sketch and reference as well as my initial attempt at colouring and clean-up.
Four months later, insomnia + an art itch + nothing left I want to scrub and clean got me to continue with some colouring and clean-up work. Still no where near completion... but we'll see how far I get in another four months.
I think I'll work from home tomorrow... err, today. Shit, I have to get up for work in 90 minutes.
What do you do when it's 3:30am, you can't sleep, and there's nobody to talk to?
Go for a jog? Draw? Sculpt? Get ahead with work?
Done, done, done, done. What's next?
Cleaning?
Check off the tub, the toilet, the sinks, the tables, the stove, the appliances, the faucets, and I don't do windows or floors.
What's next?
Who wouldn't hate me if I called them at this ungodly hour to discuss the benefits of baking soda and vinegar over off the shelf chemical cocktail cleaners?
I need a pet. A roomba. I can ramble inanely to my pet robo-vacuum in the middle of the night.
Project: Sculpt a pumpkin
Total Duration: About 4 hours
People ignored in the process: Lots
Yes, I went to the Body Worlds exhibit on the weekend. I was inspired :PI'll see if I can upload larger pics later See my flicker set, my other pumpkin carving is on there as well. Or you can try and swing by the pad and see them in person.
Check it out the process below:
1) Tools I used:
2) With the Lancashire peeler, skinned the pumpkin and lightly etched out the design.
3) Carved deeper lines with a chopstick (yes, a chopstick) to start detailing the image.
4) Still using just the chopstick...
4) Gave the image depth using the Lancashire peeler and measuring spoons.
5) More detailing.. You can't really tell from this picture, but I carved out individual toes and fingers... Then the Lancashire peeler slipped and I cut off half his hand.
6) Same as above, but lit up.
7) With the lights off and pumpkin lit up, fine tuned the design and added some edging.
Walked into work today after lunch. It's grey and ugly outside. Co-worker said I came in beaming, had a hop in my step.
I suppose I do at the moment.
Its time to dance, its time to sing, sing a happy song...
(The eighties was such an embarrassing era :P)
Officials at the Willett Elementary School in Attleboro have banned playground tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chasing games over concerns about the risk of injury and liability for the school.Seriously. Duck, duck, goose is a chasing game. Same as Go, go, go, stop. Are those to be banned as well?
Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.Seriously. WTF?
Went to the Body Worlds exhibit at Science World on Sunday. First, a word of advice. If you’re to attend this exhibit, go during work/school hours or during the evening shows after 6pm on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Second tip, if you don’t go during the above-mentioned times, get ready to line up and crowd up. Third tip, bring a sketch book. Very cool anatomical modeling practice.
I hear there’s been significant controversy over this subject, but provided all donor bodies were given willingly and with insight of what may happen to them, I see no problem with it. The sculpture was of a male body, balancing on three balls, one under each leg, one under the left hand as if in the midst of performing an acrobatic circus trick. In his outstretched right hand, he was proudly displaying his innards above his head for all to see.
What struck me was a commentary on how this body was on display and being exploited purely for the amusement of an oblivious audience.
I commented on it at the time, my friend just chuckled. I don’t think she really heard me.
"After tomorrow, it will all be better."
I thought that was such a stupid line in the movie. The first movie, which detailed the middle part of the story, was the best part.
[hidden] ooh... parallels and analogies [/hidden]
Had a conversation about the nature of friendship the other day. Got me thinking. Killed some time at work today throwing together this list.
[hidden] Remember, it's all about perspective. [/hidden]
The Sometimes Cookie
They're not just acquantances, they're friends. You may even call each other good friends. But you only see them once in a blue moon. You'll talk, you'll hang for a couple days, maybe keep touch for week or two... then they'll disappear from your life again. And yet that's fine. It's how your relationship works. They're yummy cookie treats and you're the new, reformed Cookie Monster. These friends are a sometimes cookie.
The Water Strider
You party together, you chill, you see each other pretty often. But there's no real depth to it. You may share knowledge of certain friends-only details: breakups, hookups, sports teams and college courses. But you're not going to cry in front of them. You're not going to tell them about being physically abused by your uncle as a child. You're not going to tell them about the sexual harassment and or the blackmail you're experiencing at work. Instead, you'll go have a fun time with them to forget all that. Or chill with them between work or classes just to kill time and have some superficial fun. Water Striders are creatures that can freely walk on the surface of water, but never getting the know the water's true depths.
The Emotional Crutch
When you're feeling down, when you complain about the latest guy or girl you're involved with. When you complain about trials at work and with family. These are the people you turn to. And this is really the ONLY time you turn to them. These friends are emotional crutches, to be brought out of storage only when you really need them, plus every now and then for routine maintenance (birthdays, etc).
The Faerie Tale
You feel you can tell them anything and everything, there's no need to hold back, no need to justify, no need to hesitate in any way.
The Appendix
Nobody really knows how or why you became friends. They're just there. And nobody cares enough to really do anything about it, unless for some reason (s)he starts to fester and enflame to the point where you should cut them out of your life.
The Common Dictionary
You work with them, you study with them. They're basically a living reference book. The dictionary always gets poor placement on the bookshelf, hidden behind the encyclopedias and choice novels. The common dictionary may get more usage than the exotic language translation dictionaries, but they're not nearly as exciting. Nobody says, 'ooh, you have a dictionary' But they may say 'ooh, you have a czech-english dictionary, have you ever been?' The Common Dictionary friend serves a purely utilitarian purpose at school or at work. They never get a second glance when not needed.
When you have to hear about events your company is hosting from people working in competing firms...
Something in the process has gone wrong.
You shouldn't have to try, it should just come naturally.
Bullshit.
You shouldn't have to force things. It's like trying to hold on to a bar of soap; the tighter you squeeze the more likely it'll slip from your grasp... or distort to some deformed gobledigook.
Not trying and not forcing things is two completely separate issues.
If it doesn't come about naturally, then it's not meant to be.
What, like how electricity, modern medicine, and unearthing ancient fossils 'naturally' came about without anybody trying?
That's different...
That's right. It IS different. Those things were discovered. It wasn't something fake or manufactured that somebody tried to force feed to an unreceptive audience. It was real.
I don't really see where you're going with this...
All these things were there all along, lurking under the surface, even if nobody realized it. Just waiting to be discovered, waiting to be tapped, waiting to be released. But before any of that could happen, certain people needed to try.
This isn't something you can try to apply your logic to. When it concerns the heart, it's irrational, by it's very definition defying logic. Logic doesn't work.
Then why are you trying to put logic to it by attaching a rule that, "If it doesn't come about naturally, then it's not meant to be"? THAT is trying to make sense of it, as well. THAT is trying to apply logic to the situation. And if what you say is true, logic doesn't work.
You're twisting my words...
Well... you're twisting my heart...
That's not what I'm trying to do...
Some things happen without trying, it just happens naturally.
. . .
Which is why, sometimes, you really do need to try.
Because if you don't, you can unintentionally allow things to happen that you don't want to happen.
And you can also miss out great things... miss uncovering something amazing that maybe you weren't even sure was there in the first place.
...and have you been trying?
... up into a Yaletown condo.
While emptying out my room at the 'rents, I came across some old keepsakes that survived the shoebox fire.
Clicky-dee-clickity-click.
--
Now for more of that ambiguously worded deliberation.
"Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." -- Thomas EdisonI've been restless; I've been discontent. I'm not sure it leads to progress.
“If we resist our passions, it is more through their weakness than from our strength”What is my passion? I'm sure I've tried to answer this question before.
-- François de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)
ob·ses·sion
n.
1. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.
--
Unwanted? The very opposite actually.
Unreasonable? Depends. It's only ~$200 / square foot... times 48 square feet...
Tarnation!
Maybe not.
[hidden] I've lost it. How did that happen? Leads one to wonder if you ever had it or if it was just fallout from a gigantic ego. [/hidden]
Top row: Caucasian // West Asian // Afro Carribean // Female // Drunk
Middle row: Baby // Child // Original (East Asian, Young Adult) // Teenager // Older Adult
Bottom row: Drawn by Modigliani // Drawn by Botticelli // Drawn by El Greco // Anime style // Ape-man
--
I don't think I look too keen as a Black guy, but White, Brown, or Oriental? Damn, I'm sexy! ;)
Upload a photo to Perception Laboratory's Face Transformer and see how you might look if you were another race, another species, another gender, etc.
The un-doctored image is centre. Click on the image above to view my Flickr page where each individual transformation is described.
If you have a Flickr account, you can also log in to view larger and more detailed versions of the above picture (click on the "All Sizes" button for this picture after you log in.) The full size original version is 1500 x 1200.
Or you can click here for a larger not quite so huge version of the picture.
Thanks Kare, for posting the Face Transformer so I could steal it from you.
So late in the afternoon I find out the Practice Lead for Western Canada for my division is in town today but is leaving on a plane at 7pm. Naturally I somehow navigate my way into grabbing a quick bite to eat with him before he has to leave town.
Get offered a beer.
I accept.
Bruce + Beer + no Pepcid AC on hand + working meal = Well... fuck!
Stupid Asian flush.
An epiphany woke me at 5am.
As I madly tried to transcribe it, the torrential blast of words I so clearly pictured in my mind poured out of me quicker than I could keep up with. As the clouds of conviction dissipated, all I was left with was a haphazardly collected pool of half-finished thoughts and roughly worded concepts.
Something about socially constructed gender roles, incongruency of actions and thought, and idealistic but obviously misguided justifications and interpretations.
While the entire stream of thought that flowed to this conclusion is incomprehensibly lost now, I do have the end result clear in mind. And maybe, that's the most important part.
[hidden]
The root of this annoyance ball that's found haven inside me this last week?
It's not you, it's me.
Seriously.
And the part that annoys me the most? It's that I'm seriously considering not doing anything about it
[/hidden]
There are few people in the world that can irritate me more than myself.
No matter how much I want it to happen... and I do want it to happen, I really do... it's not.
I think I'm just going to have to come to terms with it. It's been on my mind for months now... I'll discuss it with people and while some have chimed in with rounds of, "Go for it! Take the risk!"... I can't. I won't.
Not again.
Whenever I get close to making up my mind and taking that leap, all of a sudden I'll be infected with a form of Blue Car Syndrome. I'll start to notice guys all around me that seem to have made the exact same choice that I'm considering... Seeing their results convinces me that following though with this choice would be mistake.
A huge mistake.
Stupid Asian genes.
Why can't I grow a nice looking goatee?
[hidden] Bet you thought I was going to take a different route didn't you? Well, being predictable was never a talent of mine that I liked to indulge. [/hidden]
Umm... "Geese"?
No, it's "Gooses".
[hidden] Multiple plural, individual plural; I think I'm so clever. [/hidden]
Had a nice day today. But on the drive home felt frustrated as hell. Drove recklessly at 130+ kmph while just barely avoiding the urge to smash my car into something... anything. Fuck, am I annoyed at me or at you? I have no fucking idea.
Yes, I have this weird fascination with data exploration, extraction, and infographics.
Is it wrong that seeing the following two links gave me shivers down my spine?
Lightweight data exploration in Excel
More on Excel in-cell graphing
In line Gantt charts!
And what started this foray back into excel and spreadsheets?
Why, dicking around with Google Spreadsheets of course! (Collaborative moving itinerary and budget, woo!)
PS: Ooh... iRows!
IINL;
IIA
No, I won't be playing charades with you.
[hidden] It'll be more like a lame version of '20 Questions' [hidden]
--
On an unrelated note... well, a not-directly-related note at least, my best man speech outline was as follows:
You people give the worst advice in the world. I need another me to take advice from.
A couple of scrapes and bruises is fine. Through adversity do we grow, and through experience and 'failure' do we quickly learn.
Experiencing success reinforces current habits.
Experiencing loss can promote change, but only if the loss is accepted as a progressive step.
It is argued that skewed distributions of successes or perceived successes in ratio to setbacks and losses will lead to stagnation of mind and spirit.
Stagnation.
It has a weird smell.
[hidden] Yes, I had nothing to do at work today. [/hidden]
I can't believe you're doing this.
It's something I think I should do, so that's what I'm doing... It's the right thing.
Dude, you shouldn't make decisions when you're depressed. It's like making decisions when you're drunk.
Meaning it'll be fun?
No. Meaning it'll seem right at the time but when your head clears, you'll realize that your pants are missing and you're wearing your underwear on your head.
Right... so like I said; fun.
No, buddy, I'm saying you're using your head like your ass. It's full of crap right now and that's all that's coming out of it.
It's not crap, it's fertilizer. Maybe my asshead is a fertile ground for good decisions.
Not in this case. Buddy, I'm telling you, it's not too late to turn back. Stop this lunacy now.
You're calling me crazy...
Dude, there's a difference between condemning the person and condemning the action. This action path that you've started...
Maybe I am crazy... and this is the only way to clear my head. The only way for me to move on. I can't take these constant reminders and memory triggers... it all has to go.
You're hopeless.
Not hopeless; depressed. Actually... I suppose having no hope ties into that.
Dude...
Keep reading until the end. Then smile. -B
The following is a shortstory titled "Keep Your Fork", written by Roger William Thomas, published in A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
--
The sound of Martha's voice on the other end of the telephone always brought a smile to Brother Jim's face. She was not only one of the oldest members of the congregation, but one of the most faithful. Aunt Martie, as all the children called her, just seemed to ooze faith, hope and love wherever she went.This time, however, there seemed to be an unusual tone to her words. "Preacher, could you stop by this afternoon? I need to talk with you."
"Of course. I'll be there around three, Is that okay?"
As they sat facing each other in the quiet of her small living room, Jim learned the reason for what he sensed in her voice. Martha shared the news that her doctor had just discovered a previously undetected tumor.
"He says I probably have six months to live." Martha's words were certainly serious, yet there was a definite calm about her.
"I'm so sorry to . . . " but before Jim could finish, Martha interrupted.
"Don't be. The Lord has been good. I have lived a long life. I'm ready to go. You know that."
"I know," Jim whispered with a reassuring nod.
"But I do want to talk with you about my funeral. I have been thinking about it, and there are things that I know I want."
The two talked quietly for a long time. They talked about Martha's favorite hymns, the passages of Scripture that had meant so much to her through the years, and the many memories they shared from the five years Jim had been with Central Church.
When it seemed that they had covered just about everything, Aunt Martie paused, looked up at Jim with a twinkle in her eye, and then added, "One more thing, preacher. When they bury me, I want my old Bible in one hand and a fork in the other."
"A fork?" Jim was sure he had heard everything, but this caught him by surprise. "Why do you want to be buried with a fork?"
"I have been thinking about all of the church dinners and banquets that I attended through the years," she explained. "I couldn't begin to count them all. But one thing sticks in my mind.
"At those really nice get-togethers, when the meal was almost finished, a server or maybe the hostess would come by to collect the dirty dishes. I can hear the words now. Sometimes, at the best ones, somebody would lean over my shoulder and
whisper, `You can keep your fork.' And do you know what that meant? Dessert was coming!"It didn't mean a cup of Jell-O or pudding or even a dish of ice cream. You don't need a fork for that. It meant the good stuff, like chocolate cake or cherry pie! When they told me I could keep my fork, I knew the best was yet to come!
"That's exactly what I want people to talk about at my funeral. Oh, they can talk about all the good times we had together. That would be nice.
"But when they walk by my casket and look at my pretty blue dress, I want them to turn to one another and say, `Why the fork?'
"That's what I want you to say. I want you to tell them that I kept my fork because the best is yet to come."
Items of note:
Items of note:
I'm going to Hell.
Why would you say that?
The road to hell is paved with good inventions, isn't it?
Intentions.
Come again?
The saying is 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions', not 'inventions'.
Oh. Well that's a load off of my mind.
Wait a minute, what inventions have YOU created?
Lots. Remember that time at my apartment?
No.
Sure you do.
... no, dude I really don't.
Dude, the 2 chicks, the free beer, the actor invention?
Buddy, that's not an invention; there's a difference between creating things and making shit up.
Really? Well, what do you call a person who does that second thing?
A bloody lier.
Oh... then I'm still going to Hell?
Probably.
Items of note:
The various titles of this blog revolve around it, but I don't believe I've ever really explained why.
It is my belief that the saying, "it's the thought that counts" is a 1/2 tonne load of bullshit. Not quite a full tonne of bullshit, but close enough. While I do agree that the thought does actually count, too often people throw around this cliché as an excuse. The problem is that it's not an excuse, at least, not a very good one. What it is, however, is a perspective; a perspective that demotes the importance of delivered, actionable results.
If you give a crappy gift, that's your fault. Yes, the receiver can be graceful and show appreciation for the "thought" of the gift, but what "thought" was going through the giver's head? Was it: "I need to find the best and most appropriate gift"? I'd venture a guess that as time passed, the thought morphed from "best and most appropriate gift" to "I need something and I need it now!"
Let's say the gift was given with the best intentions and the giver was fully expecting it to go over like gang busters. It doesn't. What happened here? Were faulty assumptions and/or conclusions made? Doesn't matter. The execution is the key point here, not the intent.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions? Well, smart mouth, so is the road to heaven... Or any road, for that matter. The intent is immaterial to the end result by which it is viewed and judged.
So what does any of this have to do with motivation?
I forget. But I meant well.
Motivated.
[hidden] But for how long? [/hidden]
But who the heck is Robi Rosa?
[hidden] Answer 1: Former Menudo member.
Answer 2: He whose lyrics sullen me to no end (unrelated to Answer 1).
Answer 3: "You bore me" [/hidden]
Items of note:
Apparently, the footage of Zidane's headbutt on Materazzi shown on television was different depending on what country you were in.
Linky: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/07/13/zidane_headbutt_outrage/
Items of note:
Items of note:
The Gimp + Laptop pointing device = Undue frustration.
We'll see how far I get before I never touch it again.
Instead of a touchpad, I think I work better with a pen.
Items of note:
1) Read the newstory.
2) Watch the video.
3) Feel a little bit better about the kind of people there are in the world.
--
And if you need a little push to actually click the links, here's an excerpt from the newstory to get you in the mood:
"Most kids making a wish through the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Idaho wish to go someplace, to meet someone or to have something special.What did she want to be? Click the links above to find out.
Aubrey's request - to "be" something - is the rarest kind of wish, said executive director Marcia Karakas. It's the first time in at least 10 years that a "be" wish has been received in the Idaho office..."
"When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire"Quit imagining hidden innuendo in my quotes and posts. [hidden] It's hidden text you should be looking for! And you unformatted text RSS people are cheating. Yeah, I'm looking at you, K! And you too, S! [/hidden]--Vocal opening from 'Your ex-lover is dead' by Stars
Thought of the Week:
“Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.”What did I think I was looking for?-- Lawrence Block
Been a while since I linked something.
Awesome flash animation titled "Animator VS Animation". Check it out.
http://www.theintarweb.org/content/Fun%20Stuff/Animator%20Vs%20Animation.swf
Don't you hate it when you say something to reject another's hypothesis, but on closer examination what you said actually supports them and makes their argument stronger?
What am I getting at? I'm trying to force new experiences into the mold of old ones. We are of our own mold. To try and force us into another is a fruitless endeavour. I'm sorry I keep trying to do this.
Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it? But what if you want to repeat the past? Where's the implied problem there?
I shouldn't need to spell it out for you, but I will still outline it:
"The most important revelation about the past stems from the realization that it is not important to try and get rid of it, but to realize that we are already, by definition, rid of it. We need not be convinced of the importance of living in the present, but instead realize that we inevitably live in the present, and the only thing to id is to face it. ... Whether we like it or not, we cannot escape the present. The only reality is now."--George Lawrence-Ell (The Invisible Clock)
Limits suck when they are there to restrict and confine you.
Limits are good when they provide focus and structure.
The limit this year is 10.
[counting on my fingers]
Oh wait... I mean 11.
Ever listen to a song thinking it's about one subject, only to find out upon closer inspection that it's the complete opposite of what you thought?
Enter: Nothing Better by The Postal Service.
I thought it was a lovey-dovey song.
(Male part:)It's actually a breakup song.
"Tell me am I right,
To think that there could be nothing better,
Than making you my bride,
And slowly growing old together."
(Female part:)Later in the song:
"Don't you feed me lines
About some idealistic future.
Your heart won't heal right
If you keep tearing out the sutures."
(Male part:)When I realized this, I had the largest grin on my face. I don't know why.
"I know that I've made mistakes.
And, I swear I'll never wrong you again."
(Girl part:)
You've got a lure I can't deny
But you've had your chance, So say goodbye.
Say goodbye.
