Don't sweat it dude, we'll all be dead by then.

I'm pretty sure we just rebuilt the Y2K bug.

Aww... look how cute he is!

Damn it all to hell!

!msinummoC

Had dinner with the parents.

Finally found out the true story of why my Dad's brother and sisters are spread around the world instead of all immigrating to the same country. Lo and behold, the story isn't the same one my father tells over a few beers.

This version of the story involves communism!

Speaking of which, as I get a lift home from my mom, we hit a break in the conversation between small singing fluffy dogs and the hazards of peeing outdoors in the frozen Canadian wasteland. Mom speaks up to fill the dead air.

"So how's [Korean girl] these days?"

I could barely hold back my laughter.

Merde

Yeah, probably shouldn't have done that.

--

You know that person you just can't stand?

That person whose very mention makes you wistfully imagine jamming a chopstick in their ear, a fork in their eye, and a straw up their nose, then serving their decaying carcass to a dirty hobo who then takes a massive dump, and then flies eat up the massive piece of crap version of said person, and then I swat the fly dead with extreme prejudice?

Yeah, that's you L.

2008 World Telekinesis Competition @ Victoria, BC, Canada

Who wants to form a team?


via videosift.com

From: http://www.noxioussector.net/wtc/call.html

THE WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITION

THE WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITION is an openly invitational project that will organize participating teams in a competitive manner to remotely influence the behavior of a candle. Teams are not geographically bound, but are required to formalize their participation based on conformity to the guidelines of the competition.

COMPETITION STRUCTURE

The 2008 WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITON will follow basic competitive rules for multi-team events. Based on an assessment of the number of participating teams, a preliminary competitive structure will be randomly determined, in which 2 teams will compete to psychically influence the behavior of a remotely-located game candle. The winning team will advance to the subsequent round while the losing team will be eliminated. This competition structure will continue until only one team is remaining. This team will be crowned the winner of the 2008 World Telekinesis Competition.

PARTICIPATION

In order to qualify for participation, teams must satisfy the following criteria:

1. Teams must be comprised of three (3) individuals.
2. Teams must compose or design or appropriate a team logo for inclusion in the 2008 WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITION competition schedule.
3. Each team member must provide a personal photograph and biographical statement for inclusion in the 2008 WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITION competition schedule.
4. Teams must agree to abide by the rules of the competition, as articulated at the following URL: noxioussector.net/wtc/rules.html

SUBMISSIONS

In order to qualify for competition, teams must submit the following:

1. A statement of interest and/or method addressing the concept of telekinetic competition;
2. A list of the three (3) members who comprise the team, as well as a concise (max 200 words) biographical statement for each team member;
3. A web-resolution (max 2MB) image of each team member;
4. A team name and an associated team logo for inclusion in the competition schedule and related publicity material;
5. A statement of availability for competition -- articulating weekend availability between April 1st and May 30th, 2008.

Also, relevant is the following:



(It's an infamous River to Jayne Firefly quote, you luddites!)

New Years Resolution

Keep doin' what I'm doin'

40% of Japanese men sit down to pee, survey shows

Double You Tee Eff?

The survey ... showed that the younger the man, the more likely he is to sit down while peeing instead of the traditional method of standing up.

...

"Women hate it when urine sprays, so there appears to be an increasing number who are asking men to sit down on the toilet when they have to go," a Matsushita Electric Works spokesman said.

...

Matsushita believes mothers getting their young children to sit on the toilet when they urinate are also getting their partners to adopt the same practice.

Japanese guys are so whipped. Be a man and STAND proud!

Although I will say this: Gentlemen, let's be civilized. If aiming fails, have the courtesy to wipe off that seat.

Unless at a public washroom, that is.

In which case it is your manly DUTY to piss all over the toilet seat. It's a reminding note to the rest of the brotherhood to not ever touch the toilet seat of a public washroom.

That shit's just nasty, yo.

Me likely!

I is getting me a Smokey Amp

Smokey Amp Demo

The Machine Girl. Great Movie? Or GREATEST Movie?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSpCWJnnWVI

Worth Watching - Dec 10: Next Year's Cult Hit - The Machine Girl

Stars Concert... addendum

Change? Shit.

I guess change is good for any of us

Whatever it take for any of y'all niggaz to get up out the hood

Shit, I'm wit cha, I ain't mad at cha

Got nuttin but love for ya, do your thing girl
< /2pac >

Stars Concert

• Commodore Ballroom, 2007.11.20
  
  
• Stars are amazing.
  
  
• Started a Stars chant and they came out for a 2nd encore. Woo!
  
  
• Amy Milan pointed and waved at some dude next to me as they had met on the road the week before.
  
  He started screaming like a little girl.
  
  I was secretly jealous :P
  
  
• The opening act was actually pretty cool. Still trying to remember what their name is. They're another band out of Montreal, similar musical style to Stars but with more percussion. Which is understandable since they had two percussionists.
  
  I'm also a percussion freak, so it's understandable why I liked them.
  
  
• Stars ended up playing a secret free show at the Media club on Sunday. I found out as I walked by and had to make a quick decision whether or not to hop in the line and cancel on my parents.
  
  I'm such a good son.
  
  
• West Van is more a Friday night thing than Saturday night.
  

Stars
Photo Originally uploaded by
melissa_sucks

Code Red, Code Red!

[Ring, ring]

B: Hello?

H: Yo B, we're heading out tonight. L needs our help.

B: Again?

H: He's in rough shape man...

B: Just take him to the No. 5, problem solved.

H: Not this time man... he's listening to Air Supply.

B: Shit.

Clarification... kinda

s_t_r_a_w_b_e_r_r_y says (8:27 PM):

eeeew
bruce!

Bruce says (8:35 PM):

metaphors, honey. metaphors

get a bunch of corporate executive suits together and they start jerking each other off trying to impress one another

ultimately people end up trying too hard, becoming giant pricks who don't know how to use their head properly

so you just try to go along with it, hoping it gets better

s_t_r_a_w_b_e_r_r_y says (8:37 PM):

u fake it?!!

Bruce says (8:37 PM):

*shrug*

How to: Group Masterbation

• Step one:
  Everybody sit in a circle.
  
  
• Step two:
  Look to the person at your right.
  
  
• Step three:
  Jerk them off.
  
  Fellows, take note if it's a lady to your right:
  
  The clit?
  
  [Perform peace sign + tongue demonstration]
  
  It's up here.

I loathe corporate practice-wide meetings.

I Know It's Romanticized, But Still...

Before I joined The Big Machine, I did some work for a small consulting group in New Westminster. A lot of our clients were start-ups.

I remember visiting grungy home offices with distinctly persistent smells. One, vanilla incense. Another, curry.

I remember smelly dogs leaping onto my freshly ironed shirts. Except for Sasha. She was rehabilitated from the SPCA and had some issues, but eventually she'd follow me around, tail wagging.

I remember the agony we'd live through trying to find funding. The nighttimes would end up at some random bar, us either staring deep into the bottom of our pints or raising them high in cheer.

But most of all, I remember the smiles.

The smiles of passion when somebody would talk about their dream. Whether revitalising the Vancouver bar scene with East Coast ideas or starting a new West Coast comedy festival to rival Montreal's Just For Laughs.

The smiles of amazement as things take a turn for the better. When after setback after setback, you get that first bit of funding to build that revolutionary water filtering prototype.

The smiles of non-regret when you know you've tried your all. And even though your all may not have worked out as planned, it was one hell of a ride.

Sometimes, I miss those smiles.

They were genuine.

Fourteen Forthcoming Thank You's

Seemingly predestined events led to me meeting up with Fourteen today.

We spent a couple hours chapter raiding and japadog hunting before she had to hop on her flight out.

I suppose it went better than expected, although I didn't really know what to expect. Certainly didn't expect to hear that she's getting married.

It's funny how one person's actions can shape your mindset for years to come without you realising or acknowledging it it.

Once you do realise and acknowledge it, what do you do from there?

Giving Thanks is one option. Really, there's no more appropriate time of year than now.

Faith

Ever notice that the only people that panic about a situation are the people that feel they have no control over the situation?

Seriously, calm the fuck down. I've got it covered.

Trust in the Bruce.

One, Two, Four!

faith
n.

i·ro·ny
n. pl. i·ro·nies

al·ley
n. pl. al·leys

un·der·stand

v. un·der·stood, un·der·stand·ing, un·der·stands

v.tr.

ja·lop·y
n. pl. ja·lop·ies Informal


nose
n.

Over, Under, Around, and Through

Ever wonder why most every* metaphor has to deal with sex? How you can imbue the most innocent phrase or gesture with erotic overtones? Err, undertones... overtones?

Overtone: An ulterior, usually implicit meaning or quality; an implication or a hint
Undertone: An underlying or implied tendency or meaning; an undercurrent

Over or under? I suppose I could swing either way...

Err, I mean my head is just so confused...

Shit, I mean...

Stupid tones, I'm like totally not gay.

*Yes, I still like to be redundant in speech

Hahahahahahaha

shazbot : (

It's a Violent Pornography

Got my ass rocked. Because I didn't want to crucify a co-worker, he fucking ass lances me in front of the client and higher ups.

Is Curb gonna have to choke a bitch?

Horcubee's totally a tease

Just check her flikr

I didn't spit in your soup...

... so don't step on my shoes.

Getting restless?

Maybe.

It's always fun when I am.

Not my analogy, but it'll suffice

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the Rowing Team Quality First Program, with meetings, dinners and free pens and a certificate of completion for the rower.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.

The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was "out-sourced" to India ....

Arrr!

When I get married, here's how it's going to play out:

1. It's going to be on a boat.
2. It will be happening in the middle of a sword fight.
3. It will be Geoffrey Rush conducting the ceremony.

(Pirates 3 Spoilers!)


I may be willing to budge on (1) and (2), but damn if I don't love me some pirate Geoffrey Rush.

--

Pirates 3 mini review:

• First half of the movie didn't catch my fancy but the movie grew on me as it continued
  
• Johnny Depp was predictably unpredictably amazing
• I still don't like the Elizabeth Swan (Kiera Knightley) character
• Geoffrey Rush's Barbarossa grows more on me every time I see it
• I still don't like Orlando Bloom
• Bill Nighy's Davy Jones was fun
• I'm still disappointed whenever Chow Yun-Fat speaks English without kicking somebody's ass or making gambling look cool
  

Oh How I Hate Rogers Tech Support

(After being on hold for 43 minutes...)

Thank you for calling Rogers, how may I assist you?

I've lost my cell phone so I'd like to place a stop on all outgoing calls and forward all incoming calls to another number.

Sure Mr. Nguyen I can set that up for you.

Thanks, the number I'd like to forward calls to is...

Actually while I can set up call forwarding for you, you can also set it up yourself. I can give you the touch tone codes, all you have to do is enter these codes on to your cell phone.

(*Pause* is this girl an idjit?) Right, well I've lost my phone so can I set it up remotely from another phone?

No sir, it has to be your own cell phone.

(She is, she is an idjit) Okay... Well, since I don't my phone we can't really go down that route.

Alright sir, so would you like me to set up call forwarding or would you like to set it up yourself?

(*Pause* Deep breath, Bruce, take a deep breath) Yeah, if you could set it up, that would be great. Thanks. (Thinking: Am I talking to a real person or one of those automated voice systems?)

--

Don't get me started on the interactive voice recognition enabled telephone help desk.

Alright, let's give us one last try

It's been a torrid affair between the two of us.

The tantalizing build up as promises are made.
The long passionate nights as promises are held.
The inevitable blasé as promises are broken.

We've been through this cycle countless times now.

This is the last time; I swear it. If it doesn't work this time, it's not going to work ever. I'll accept that. I really will.

But I have to give it this one last go.

One last chance for that happy ending.

I will finish reading this goddamn book.

I've Made Charts And Graphs That Should Finally Make It Clear

Ever wonder what it's like to date a yuppie professional who's used to giving power point presentations? Wonder no more:

Romance: An Analysis - Andy Meyers (June 28, 1996)
(It's a virus free PowerPoint file.)

While there is a time-gap in when the analysis took place, I believe you will find it still relevant to current day and extremely concise in its use of visual aids.

e.g.
A couple of the slides had me laughing out loud.

[Hidden]
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear...
[/Hidden]

Professional Work Tip #1

When composing an email, do not use a cursive font in an attempt to make your correspondence seem handwritten and more 'personal'.

e.g.

It doesn't work.

(a) It makes it look like spam.
(b) It makes it more difficult to read than a standard font.
(c) It makes me waste company time by blogging in frustration.

Actually, forget (c); when I'm working 11+ hour days everyday starting at 7:30am, I think a little personal venting time is justified.

You know how gmail has personalized ads along the side? Right now the ads on my screen are:

• Is He Afraid To Commit?
• Not Into You? Here's Why
• Gifts for Metrosexuals
• Origin of the Salsa Dip
• Random Acts of Kindness

Damn, Google's got my number :P

For my own reference before I lose it in a reformat...

September 14
Show encrypted text

September 22
Show encrypted text

October 23
go to post


[hidden]
Password hint to decrypt the text below?
name, followed by a single space, followed by response to 'boo'. All lowercase.

Javascript needs to be enabled.
[/hidden]

Ain't it fun

Don't you hate it when you send a message to the wrong person? One way to take it is to roll with it; it's your subconscious acting of its own accord.

The other way is to swear, 'Freaking small buttons,' under your breath followed by a chorus of hands-over-ears 'la-la-la-la-la's

[hidden]
La-la-la-la... fuck.
[/hidden]

Ghost starts pit fire during RAGE set?

Ghost starts pit fire during RAGE set?
Originally uploaded by Bruce Nguyen.

Found this random pic on my camera. It was taken during Rage Against the Machine's set. I was trying to capture the fire we were moshing around and accidentally produced this cool fluke of camera exposure timings.

At least, I THINK it's just a camera trick.

Ooh... ghostly.

More in depth Coachella review coming, maybe. For now, know that The Arcade Fire, Rage, and Interpol rocked my shirt and socks off. Do I mean that literally? Only time will tell!

Fuckin' Awesome-sauce

Think Fast

BL: "I have a job interview tomorrow"

BN: "Cool. Is it for Pro..."
(crap... no, I'm thinking of somebody else... too late... she's waiting... have to finish... make something up...)

BN: "Is it for porn?"

I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on de drum all day

NS: Aww, you know what you need?

BN: Another espresso?

NS: No silly, this...
NS: 8= =8

BN:

NS: *HUGS*

BN: . . .
BN: Oh! those are outstretch arms...

Ahh... I see what you meant now.

"Elegant".

[Hidden]
I'm still going with "stimulating".
[/Hidden]

"We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyones arguing over where they're going to sit."

:(

How come I'm never in town when David Suzuki comes to visit?

(Wednesday April 11 in North Vancouver)

And while I'm at it, is it just me or does Suzuki not seem quite as optimistic as he once was?

I'm Supposed To Be Working But... Part 2

IF: "I think I just need to go to the driving range."
BN: "Good idea. Meet you there."
IF: "What? Aren't you cramming 14 days of work into this weekend?"
BN: "Look, do you want to play or not?"

I'm Supposed To Be Working But...

+


=


Hooray for inside jokes, procrastination, and 5 minute long computer reboots.

Ohh, now I get it...

"Na."

It's like calling me Bruce... well, that doesn't really work since my name only has one syllable.

It's more like calling me "bee" instead of Curby.

[hidden]
Actually, it's been a while since I've ran in to anybody that calls me Curby. Funny, the process in how nicknames disappear from your vernacular.
[/hidden]

Spamming all your internets

Sorry for the spam everybody, but it's for a good cause, I swear!

My friend Amanda is in the running for Maxim's 2007 Hometown Hottie, so go vote for her! (Definitions of a 'good cause' are rather lax in my books)

Direct link to her page: http://www.maxim.com/hotties/profile_2007.aspx?id=19598
Link to 2007's voting gallery in general: http://www.maxim.com/hotties/voting_gallery_2007.aspx

I promise I won't spam you all again unless you've requested it ('Life & Times of Bruce' emails) or another hot chick asks me for a favour after I've had a few beers.

Continuity

Remember that house of cards?

Finally gotten around to rebuilding the foundation. Feels nice.

A week's worth of weekday stories

On confusing names and email addresses:
QT: Hi, remember me?
BN: Hey Tina
QT: I miss you very much!
QT: ...
QT: Who's Tina?

On relationships with inanimate objects:
ML: I guess you two were never meant to be. A sad tale of woe, is Bruce's relationships

On No Stairway?
"Denied!"

On this isn't the first time I've heard that comparison:
BN: I am NOT an imitation of Barney

On well at least he's got good taste:
AR: I think his idea of "girlfriends" and our idea of "hookers" are one and the same.

On seriously, this is for your own benefit:
BN: I'm all for playing wing... but dude, gotta warn you, you've totally got your beer goggles on.

Reminiscence: St Paddy's

Last night, just like last year, I had my shirt, my hat, and my randoms. (But not my camera, whoops)

Good night, even if I called it early. It was no Fitzsimons, but not many places are... it may just be the Guinness talking, but I kinda miss Ireland.

Hooray for poorly recorded and gaudily edited memories!

[Hidden]
Damn it, quit living in the past
[/Hidden]

Happy Steak & BJ Day!

A week's worth of chocolate purple hearted goldfish!

Quotes
On persistent office gossip:
"Is your fiancée coming out tonight? She's still in town, right?"

On text messages that wake you up:
"So I just got diagnosed as clinically depressed..."

On death cabs and cuties:
"Okay... I think... I think I'm drunk enough to drive you home now."

Internal Monologues
On relations:
Every time I think things can start working well between us you say something like that. Then I remember what I promised myself.
[hidden]
I don't trust you; I don't respect you; I won't cut you out of my life.
It's been twenty some-odd years, trust me, I've tried all three.
[/hidden]

On revelations:
I continue to grow, making steady progress grappling with violent childhood traumas. First dogs, then swimming, now tofu. To complete the superfecta: Birthday cakes with the fruit layer in the middle *shudder*
[hidden]
Yes, VIOLENT childhood traumas, all. For serious.
[/hidden]

On revolutions:
I've got these sun spots where my art used to be,
I've got these sun spots where my art used to be,
Whoa-ooaa (It got sold, it got sold, it got sold),
Whoa-ooaa (It got sold, it got sold, it got sold)...
[hidden]
Yes, I learned what the actual lyrics are. I like my version better.
[/hidden]

Behold My Wonders and Cry Tears of Jealousy

Victoria --> Seattle --> Vegas --> Indio, CA

Hooray for pent up vacation time and pent up RAGE!

I don't say this often...

Not everything is about you.

But that one was.

I don't apologize for thinking it.

But I do apologize for posting it. I knew you'd end up seeing it, I even partly wanted you to see it.

In retrospect and with a clearer head, it wasn't as funny as I thought it was.

I realize this now, and I apologize.

Sorry.

Oh shiznit

You're such a Steph :P

Prediction

[Hidden]
Will call you thurs night, tell you plans. our Saturday plans won't be cancelled, but you'll have forgotten about then and happen to have made other plans. Have free time in afternoon until... 6pm. But will say you only have until 4pm, and will want to leave around 3pm. Will get up late around 1pm. Won't actually meet up unless I make it out to you.
[/Hidden]
Some people are so predictable, it's disappointing.

Yeah, I'm already making other plans :P

Caffeine... Part II

*crash*

Caffeine

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Brain Exhaust

That's just the way it's got to be...

You know what I find irresistibly attracting? Hint: it's not white lies and subtle deception.

When we plan to meet up, it's because I want to see you. I'm not there to listen to that guy that always seems to be around, spouting of his narrow view of how we should relate, of how our relationship should work.

Seriously, dude's gotta stop cock blocking.

That's it, I don't need it and I'm not so sure that you're worth it.

Call me again when you lose the douche.

[hidden]
I'm sorry, religion, but that's just the way it's got to be.
[/hidden]

--

"I don't want to say"
... is a perfectly acceptable answer.

Naturally, this answer doesn't preclude the other person from continuing to try and pry... hmmm... is that why people lie? To avoid follow-up questions and assumptions that go with it.

Of course once you're caught in a lie, even worse questions and assumptions will follow suit.

Where's the respect?

--

Like brothers on a hotel bed

B: I don't know why I said it.

C: Yeah, you do.

B: It's not about that.

C: Come on, this isn't the first time something like this has happened.

B: Please, that's totally different.

C: Dude, you said it twice in 3 minutes.

B: Whatever.

C: Dude, just admit it.

B: Never.

Somebody's Smiling Like an Idiot

[hidden]
... but this time it's not me.
[/hidden]

Quit stealing my lines, foo!

Let the count begin anew

One!
[hidden]
=)
[/hidden]

Mmm... pepper

I fought to get an extra day in Vancouver.
I wanted to spend it with you.

I worked extra hours to make the time.
Finally, things were sorted out.

I picked up the phone.
I dialed the number.

That chiming ring...
My heart murmured with excitement.

Then nine little words formed a mill,
crushing my spirit like peppercorns...

"The Shins Feb 19th show is already sold out"

My crushed pepper spirit leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Arty McArtisan

I've been lackadaisically looking for art pieces for The Pad. In the process, plans for Sakura Blossom Robots and commissioned koreanninja murals have languished by the wayside.

Finally, I think I've found the art style that I've been looking for.

I simply adore John Lytle Wilson's work.

Of course his exhibitions are all on the East coast and the cost for an 8x4 artpiece are most likely woefully out of my price range, so I suppose I'll have to rely on Plan B:

1. Seduce John Lytle Wilson,
2. Have his man-babies,
3. Force our genetically-impossible children into slave labour to paint murals for The Pad.
4. Try to put aside 5% of each paycheque into a college fund for the kids. Just because they're genetic freaks doesn't mean that they don't deserve a good education.
   

Three cheers for good ol' Plan B.

(C) Elephant Love Medley

AA: Love's a strange and fickle creature; hey, do you think love's a she or a he?

CF: A 'she' because love is crazy *grin*
Or maybe a 'he' because love is stubborn...
No, wait... that's still a 'she'...

--

"Why not?" indeed.

Convenience trumps [it] every time.

--

ST: I was only told that before [her], you didn't believe in love. Which implies that after [her], you did.

BR: Not quite... it's more that before [her] I believed that I had already felt love. Now I'm not so sure.

--

KH: "[My Husband] thought you were just wanting to get in my pants. Sorry, would have let you crash here if we had been awake / gracious enough to answer the phone."

--

BL: Will you be part of my friend test.. if ever I date a guy serious enough to go through a test?

BN: As the guy friend, count on me to take him to a strip bar, get drunk, and hear the real unfiltered scoop from him *thumbs up*

Unrelated

How did "2 to 4" become "6 to 8"?

I suppose I can make an exception for people flying in from out of town. Dinner Party at the Pad!

Now where'd I put my "Kiss the Chef" apron...

--

I keep talking to others about how you should not expect change to occur overnight, yet I'm guilty of doing the same. I suppose what I should be preaching is that only expecting change does very little to enact change. If you want the change to happen, you should be proactive about it; meet it head on.

-- Posted May 2, 2005

Different context, same sentiment. I'm tired trying to be proactive, can't you do it just this once?

*ring* *ring*

. . .

Sure. Why not? =D

Brain... umm... ear fluid leakage

EPIPHANY

[composed rants and raves of grr's and arg's]

Dude, quit acting so jealous. It's unseemly.

What?! I'm not jealous, what I'm talking about is... I'm not j... shit... fuck me... It all makes sense now.

*slow clap* Let's give it up for Captain Oblivious

--

PERCEPTIONS

You're driving a car.

The person next to you is staring out the side window at the bunnies and puppy dogs playing in the snow. This person thinks everything is fine and dandy.

You're looking down the road trying to navigate this darned jalopy and keep it on the road.

Heh, jalopy. That's a funny word.

--

KRIS-TOE-MAS

Guess what I got for Christmas!

. . .

Yes, more Starbucks / coffee related goods. But that wasn't what I was talking about.

. . .

Yes, more booze related goods as well. But that wasn't what I was talking about.

. . .

Oh I'll just tell you, it's www.brucenguyen.ca
=O

(H) Brain Diarrhea

Following your gut
I shouldn't have changed my flight schedule. Should have stuck with the original plan.

Note to future self: Being snowed in is not a divine sign.

Like, srsly...
Did somebody stick a "Set me up with your friend" sign on my back? Cause I'm not meaning to be advertising. In fact, I'm not even for sale.

[hidden] I'm for rent *wink* [/hidden]

All I want for Christmas...
You always want what you don't have?
But if the only thing you ever wanted is something you never possessed, does that support the theory or does that just make it coincidental?

My gift giving mantra
I have a list of 'must-gift' (family, mainly), then I have a list of 'like-to-gift'. If you're on my 'like-to-gift' list, I'll only gift you something if I happen across that ideal item. No gift-giving for the sake of gift-giving.

So if you don't receive a gift from me this year, it's not that I wasn't looking for one, it's that I couldn't find one that would do you justice

[hidden] ... because I wasn't looking hard enough, haha [/hidden]

Also, for my 'must-gift' list, my mantra is if you can't find a gift that's meaningful, give a gift that's regiftable.

I think I'm in love...
You're petite, incredulously cute, and possess a wicked imagination.

At times you can be shy - even naive - and find it hard to express and deal with certain emotions. Yet you are one of the strongest person I've seen, able to take initiative and follow through when you find something you're passionate about.

One of the most selfless persons I've ever seen, you can also be quirky and mischievousness at the same time.

A short time spent with you leaves me smiling for hours.

Who are you? You are Amelie Poulain.

Yes, I'm a little late to the party. Sue me. Break me. Shake me. Hate me. Take me over.

The appeal of Amelie as a character derives from the spoken narrative as well as journeying as an invisible third party by her side. From outward appearances, somebody like Amelie may seem... kind of weird and creepy, actually. But because we see this intimate narrative, we have a deeper understanding of her.

Without that narrative and following along her life, would you have cared about or even noticed Amelie? If not, then what other opportunities are you missing out on because you never thought to give the other person a chance?

Then again, Amelie does strike me as one of a kind...

[hidden] I would *so* do Amelie in a heartbeat :P [/hidden]

All I Want For Christmas...

Somebody asked what I want for Christmas. I answered:

"A story.
In a box.
Wrapped up all pretty-like.

I'll hold the gift up to my ear and shake it gently in my hands. Tiny whisperings will leak out from the cracks; teasing with faint hints of an epic story that's begging to be told.

A story in pictures, a story in words,
A way to say what's yet to be heard.
Make use of a brush or the rhythm of rhyme,
To a song or a melody, I'll never say 'nein'."

Yeah, that didn't make much sense to me either. But I suppose if I were to try and derive meaning from it, it would be that I don't want the gift per say, I just want to know the story behind the gift.

"It's not a roll of pennies, it's piggy-bank bacon. I wanted to amalgamate your apparently contradictory passions for pork and protecting wild life. *smile*"

"I made this see-saw figure for you. Do you remember what see-saws represent?"

"[edited out since I'm going to put this in a Christmas card :D]"

Brain vomit

Paving Roads
What is the impetus for creating roads? These days, we know where a road will lead before we build it.

But let's step back to a time before roads were paved with tar.
Step back again to before they were compressed compounds of dirt.
Step back to when they were but paths etched out in the grassy plains through repeated travels.
Step back to that first step that would forge a new path that would build a road that would grant access to untold opportunity.

Was was the impetus for that first step? Survival? Wonderment? Disillusionment?

Honestly though, who the fuck cares?

--

I can kill you with my brain!
Guy beside me in class: "Wait, wait... stop right there. Just let me... reflect on this... ... ... ... Oooohhhhh! ... ... But wait..."

Me: If we all concentrate really, REALLY hard, I think we can choke him to death with our brains!

--

Christmas Gifts
It the thought that counts? Bullshit.

To paraphrase a movie quote: Deep down you may still be that same great person you used to be. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you.

If you really care about somebody, don't get something for them, do something for them.

Yes, I know 'getting something' is technically 'doing something'. But it's the motivation and reason behind it that really... aww fugnuts. I guess it really is the thought that counts.

--

See-saws
Relationships are like a see-saw. To really make it work, you both have to have the same weight invested in it, you both have to push, and you both have to trust the other isn't about to jump off without warning.

Yadda, yadda, [insert amateur analysis] yadda [insert thinly veiled metaphor for my current state of mind] yadda yadda.

--

Conversations
[Insert edited-real-life or completely-made-up conversation dialog that's really a thinly veiled metaphor]

--

Las Vegas
It's alright. But it just doesn't compare.

Not even close.

It's that time of year again...

There are lots of other events and shows, Festival of Trees @ 4 seasons, Carol Ships cruises, Xmas @ Burnaby Village, etc, but the following are typically my mainstays

[hidden] Yes, because most of them are free. [/hidden]

40th Annual Singing Christmas Tree Musical
Date(s): Fri Dec 8 to Mon Dec 11 AND Fri Dec 15 to Mon Dec 18
Time: Various times
Cost: Free
Location: Broadway Church (2700 East Broadway)

Trinity Street Lights Competition
Date: Mid December-ish
Time: After sunset
Cost: Free
Location: Trinity Street in East Vancouver, between Renfrew and Nanaimo

Festival of Lights
Date(s): Fri Dec 15 to Dec 31 (closed on Christmas Day)
Time: 5pm - 9:30pm
Cost: $11.65 per person or $22.30 for a 'family' of four.
Location: Van Dusen Botanical Gardens (5251 Oak Street)

Winter Solstice Lantern Festival
Date: Friday Dec 22
Time: 6pm - 10pm
Cost: Free
Location(s): West End, Yaletown, Granville Island Strathcona/Chinatown, East Side/Commercial Drive

If the last couple years are any gauge, I'll also be watching, "It's a Wonderful Life", hitting the slopes at least once, and mourning my pitiful attempts to create that perfect batch of hot chocolate.

And I'll probably be on a farm.

Rush, rush, rush

So I spend 30 minutes trying to call a cab to get me to my helicopter, but my phone's auto-redial isn't being able to cut through the incessant busy signal.

Not wanting to waste any more time, I wake up my friend, we hurriedly drive to the heliport, and I leave my car keys in her care until I return in 4 weeks time.

I make it to the heliport 2 minutes before my scheduled departure.

"I'm sorry sir, all flights have been put on standby until at least noon"


. . .


So you're saying I can crawl back in bed now? =D

[hidden] A pessimist would have said, you mean I could STILL be in bed right now? I'm always the optimist *grin* [/hidden]

Now why did I have to go and do that?

1. Ageless mind dwarf exercise

2. Kick Bud Trexler

3. A Gentleman's dim lighting footprint

Oh, such fun fun fun times... [hidden] I'd like some smart-ass to go with my sarcasm, please [/hidden]

So it's official...

Work is sending me to Las Vegas for a couple weeks in late November / early December.

Instead of flying back to Vancouver for the weekends, I'm considering flying straight from Victoria to Vegas, then once that stint is over, flying straight back to Victoria.

That means I may not be in Vancouver for the next month or more.

*shrug*

Can you give me a reason to come back to Vancouver?

10 years ...

... to the day.

How would my life have been different? How would I have been different?

[hidden] Do you ever unconsciously start poking at scar tissue? I can't imagine that it's healthy, but it sure is addictive. [/hidden]

Things I like

So a consultant, a dental assistant, and a concierge walk into a bar... oh, have I told you this one already? Never mind then. Let's talk of things I like.

Hidden smiles
You know the ones. Where for some reason or another, you're trying to hold back a smile. But you can't. And all of a sudden it's unleashed in a big toothy grin.

Rebellious, lone strands of hair
And the plucking thereof.

Unpredictability in others
I think I understand people, their motivations, and their tendencies. I like to be shown wrong every now and then. Keeps me humble. I haven't been very humble lately.

Long-ish hair (clean)
Full, pleasing locks flowing through my fingers.

1st times
That beating heart, sweaty palms, and rush of adrenalin creating a mixture of excitement and anxiety... Do you remember your first time? The vivid, almost overpowering sensations... the sweet fragrances that seemed to fill your senses... the feelings... the textures... the tastes...

Oh, to re-experience my first corossolier + condensed milk drink or my first rambutan.

[hidden] Freshly pressed apple juice is cool, but it just doesn't compare. [/hidden]

Year Two in Review

This blog is turning two years old. The word that summed up Year One was "Transition". The word or phrase that encapsulates Year Two?

"What if." [hidden] Actually, that's just the word or phrase that captures this particular moment of reflection [/hidden]

What if I moved out?
What if I grew a goatee?
What if I could really believe it?
What if I tried a different career path?
What if she could be celebrating her 10th birthday?

Ended up doing the first, trying the second, mistiming the third, and discounting the forth. As for the fifth? Well... that one is purely hypothetical.

It's hard to believe it's been that long.

Quirks

• I can't leave any sauce left on a dinner plate.
  If there's bread laying around, i'll use it to mop up any leftover sauce or grease
  
  
• Take a bite, take a sip, wipe mouth. Repeat.
  I don't do this quite so much anymore, though.
  
  
• Tiled or patterned surfaces, each pace must be equal, i.e. two paces to each sidewalk square, 2nd pace of right foot landing on the crack.
  I don't do this as much anymore, either. Other things on the mind while I'm walking, I suppose.
  
  
• I can't keep my fingers still. My fingers are in constant need to find something to play with.
  
  
• I'm told I have essential tremor. The shivers are noticeable at times. I have to consciously lay them at rest on something else. Otherwise people think I'm continuously nervous when I'm completely comfortable.
  
  
• Every mirror or reflective surface i notice, i must look at myself
  
  
• If I imagine a conversation with you in my head, I'll never bring that topic up in real life. We've already discussed it. It's been resolved. (no it hasn't)
  
  
• I have a foot fetish. They must be sock covered. They must be massaged. A photo must be taken.
  
  
• I am subconscious drawn to greeting card stands.
  
  
• I love it when a girl with a sweet australian accent says, "Can I ask you something". Really, it's all in the word, "ask".
  
  
• In video games where there is a limited amount of an item (bombs, or potions, or ether), I'll do everything possible to avoid using it. Unless I have the maximum amount of that item. Then I can use one.
  
  
• Growing up, I would have to go to th washroom and relieve myself at least once before I could finish my meal. Now I just go afterwards. And beforehand. And again once I get to our next destination.
  
  
• Whenever the phone rings, I visualize who I think is on the other end. I'm very frequently dissappointed.
  
  
• For a short period, I couldn't use the washroom in a confined space. Stalls, porta potties, small bathrooms... the doors would have to be left open while I'm in there or I'd start feeling anxious.
  

Never content...

As I'm working at my desk, they're taking down a wall no more than 10 feet from me. Sledgehammers, drills, and other assorted tools make a cacophony of noise that fills the air. A thin layer of an impromptu plastic barrier - while helpless against the noise - proudly stands guard, protecting my computer and work area from an attacking cloud of dust and debris.

I stare intently at the labourers.

I can't help but think...

Damn, that's a cool job.

Did we all just name the one thing that we don't have?

Question: What is your driving goal in life, or ideal attribute for life?

BL: "Stability"
ML: "Randomness"
BN: "Energy or passion"

Smiling Like An Idiot; Don't Know Why

Oh shit. Yes, I do.

No... must... not... analyze...

Fuck... too late.

Huh... I'm still smiling. Whodathunk?

[hidden]
Password hint to decrypt the text below?
It's your name plus how you respond to me when I greet you with: 'boo'
If you guess wrong, then it's not for you, I suppose.

Oh, and javascript needs to be enabled.
[/hidden]

Click here to Decrypt text below

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Shitznick

Just realized with the move to the new Blogger Beta, all my posts had to be converted to the new system... meaning my archive of all my old blog layouts is gone.

Well, fuck.

I liked the header I had before with my pictures in it... And really, all the posts about layout changes and tweaks make no sense anymore.

[hidden] As if my posts routinely make any kind of coherent sense. [/hidden]

Okay, seriously. Sleep. Try it. Now.

A Work In Progress... still

Yeah, remember this? If not, refer back to the original sketch and reference as well as my initial attempt at colouring and clean-up.

Four months later, insomnia + an art itch + nothing left I want to scrub and clean got me to continue with some colouring and clean-up work. Still no where near completion... but we'll see how far I get in another four months.

I think I'll work from home tomorrow... err, today. Shit, I have to get up for work in 90 minutes.

Insomnia

What do you do when it's 3:30am, you can't sleep, and there's nobody to talk to?

Go for a jog? Draw? Sculpt? Get ahead with work?
Done, done, done, done. What's next?

Cleaning?

Check off the tub, the toilet, the sinks, the tables, the stove, the appliances, the faucets, and I don't do windows or floors.

What's next?

Who wouldn't hate me if I called them at this ungodly hour to discuss the benefits of baking soda and vinegar over off the shelf chemical cocktail cleaners?

I need a pet. A roomba. I can ramble inanely to my pet robo-vacuum in the middle of the night.

Scratching My Artsy Itch

Project: Sculpt a pumpkin
Total Duration: About 4 hours
People ignored in the process: Lots

Yes, I went to the Body Worlds exhibit on the weekend. I was inspired :P

I'll see if I can upload larger pics later See my flicker set, my other pumpkin carving is on there as well. Or you can try and swing by the pad and see them in person.

Check it out the process below:

1) Tools I used:

• 1 Lancashire Peeler
• 1 one chopstick
• measuring spoons (really only used the smallest 1/4 teaspoon. Dunno how the rest got so dirty)

2) With the Lancashire peeler, skinned the pumpkin and lightly etched out the design.
3) Carved deeper lines with a chopstick (yes, a chopstick) to start detailing the image.
4) Still using just the chopstick...4) Gave the image depth using the Lancashire peeler and measuring spoons.
5) More detailing.. You can't really tell from this picture, but I carved out individual toes and fingers... Then the Lancashire peeler slipped and I cut off half his hand.6) Same as above, but lit up.7) With the lights off and pumpkin lit up, fine tuned the design and added some edging.

Hello Sunshine!

Walked into work today after lunch. It's grey and ugly outside. Co-worker said I came in beaming, had a hop in my step.

I suppose I do at the moment.

Its time to dance, its time to sing, sing a happy song...

(The eighties was such an embarrassing era :P)

Protect Your Children From the Dangers of Playing Tag!

wtf

Officials at the Willett Elementary School in Attleboro have banned playground tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chasing games over concerns about the risk of injury and liability for the school.

Seriously. Duck, duck, goose is a chasing game. Same as Go, go, go, stop. Are those to be banned as well?

Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.

Seriously. WTF?

They're children. Not babies.

I would go off on a rant of over coddling and protection of children, suppressing growth and development in their formative years, but instead I'll go off on a rant about love.

You don't over coddle or over protect out of love. Love, in my books, has its roots in a feelings of respect... you know what? I don't feel like typing out this rant either.

I'm tired. And I don't feel like figuring out a way to relate it so that the last sentence reads: I had respect for you.

*yawn*

After today, it'll all be better, right?

Did I read too much into it?

Went to the Body Worlds exhibit at Science World on Sunday. First, a word of advice. If you’re to attend this exhibit, go during work/school hours or during the evening shows after 6pm on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Second tip, if you don’t go during the above-mentioned times, get ready to line up and crowd up. Third tip, bring a sketch book. Very cool anatomical modeling practice.

I hear there’s been significant controversy over this subject, but provided all donor bodies were given willingly and with insight of what may happen to them, I see no problem with it. The sculpture was of a male body, balancing on three balls, one under each leg, one under the left hand as if in the midst of performing an acrobatic circus trick. In his outstretched right hand, he was proudly displaying his innards above his head for all to see.

What struck me was a commentary on how this body was on display and being exploited purely for the amusement of an oblivious audience.

I commented on it at the time, my friend just chuckled. I don’t think she really heard me.

Infernal Affairs III

"After tomorrow, it will all be better."

I thought that was such a stupid line in the movie. The first movie, which detailed the middle part of the story, was the best part.

[hidden] ooh... parallels and analogies [/hidden]

Where do we fit in?

Had a conversation about the nature of friendship the other day. Got me thinking. Killed some time at work today throwing together this list.

[hidden] Remember, it's all about perspective. [/hidden]

The Sometimes Cookie
They're not just acquantances, they're friends. You may even call each other good friends. But you only see them once in a blue moon. You'll talk, you'll hang for a couple days, maybe keep touch for week or two... then they'll disappear from your life again. And yet that's fine. It's how your relationship works. They're yummy cookie treats and you're the new, reformed Cookie Monster. These friends are a sometimes cookie.

The Water Strider
You party together, you chill, you see each other pretty often. But there's no real depth to it. You may share knowledge of certain friends-only details: breakups, hookups, sports teams and college courses. But you're not going to cry in front of them. You're not going to tell them about being physically abused by your uncle as a child. You're not going to tell them about the sexual harassment and or the blackmail you're experiencing at work. Instead, you'll go have a fun time with them to forget all that. Or chill with them between work or classes just to kill time and have some superficial fun. Water Striders are creatures that can freely walk on the surface of water, but never getting the know the water's true depths.

The Emotional Crutch
When you're feeling down, when you complain about the latest guy or girl you're involved with. When you complain about trials at work and with family. These are the people you turn to. And this is really the ONLY time you turn to them. These friends are emotional crutches, to be brought out of storage only when you really need them, plus every now and then for routine maintenance (birthdays, etc).

The Faerie Tale
You feel you can tell them anything and everything, there's no need to hold back, no need to justify, no need to hesitate in any way.

The Appendix
Nobody really knows how or why you became friends. They're just there. And nobody cares enough to really do anything about it, unless for some reason (s)he starts to fester and enflame to the point where you should cut them out of your life.

The Common Dictionary
You work with them, you study with them. They're basically a living reference book. The dictionary always gets poor placement on the bookshelf, hidden behind the encyclopedias and choice novels. The common dictionary may get more usage than the exotic language translation dictionaries, but they're not nearly as exciting. Nobody says, 'ooh, you have a dictionary' But they may say 'ooh, you have a czech-english dictionary, have you ever been?' The Common Dictionary friend serves a purely utilitarian purpose at school or at work. They never get a second glance when not needed.