Did we all just name the one thing that we don't have?

Question: What is your driving goal in life, or ideal attribute for life?

BL: "Stability"
ML: "Randomness"
BN: "Energy or passion"

Smiling Like An Idiot; Don't Know Why

Oh shit. Yes, I do.

No... must... not... analyze...

Fuck... too late.

Huh... I'm still smiling. Whodathunk?

[hidden]
Password hint to decrypt the text below?
It's your name plus how you respond to me when I greet you with: 'boo'
If you guess wrong, then it's not for you, I suppose.

Oh, and javascript needs to be enabled.
[/hidden]

Click here to Decrypt text below

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Shitznick

Just realized with the move to the new Blogger Beta, all my posts had to be converted to the new system... meaning my archive of all my old blog layouts is gone.

Well, fuck.

I liked the header I had before with my pictures in it... And really, all the posts about layout changes and tweaks make no sense anymore.

[hidden] As if my posts routinely make any kind of coherent sense. [/hidden]

Okay, seriously. Sleep. Try it. Now.

A Work In Progress... still

Yeah, remember this? If not, refer back to the original sketch and reference as well as my initial attempt at colouring and clean-up.

Four months later, insomnia + an art itch + nothing left I want to scrub and clean got me to continue with some colouring and clean-up work. Still no where near completion... but we'll see how far I get in another four months.

I think I'll work from home tomorrow... err, today. Shit, I have to get up for work in 90 minutes.

Insomnia

What do you do when it's 3:30am, you can't sleep, and there's nobody to talk to?

Go for a jog? Draw? Sculpt? Get ahead with work?
Done, done, done, done. What's next?

Cleaning?

Check off the tub, the toilet, the sinks, the tables, the stove, the appliances, the faucets, and I don't do windows or floors.

What's next?

Who wouldn't hate me if I called them at this ungodly hour to discuss the benefits of baking soda and vinegar over off the shelf chemical cocktail cleaners?

I need a pet. A roomba. I can ramble inanely to my pet robo-vacuum in the middle of the night.

Scratching My Artsy Itch

Project: Sculpt a pumpkin
Total Duration: About 4 hours
People ignored in the process: Lots

Yes, I went to the Body Worlds exhibit on the weekend. I was inspired :P

I'll see if I can upload larger pics later See my flicker set, my other pumpkin carving is on there as well. Or you can try and swing by the pad and see them in person.

Check it out the process below:

1) Tools I used:

• 1 Lancashire Peeler
• 1 one chopstick
• measuring spoons (really only used the smallest 1/4 teaspoon. Dunno how the rest got so dirty)

2) With the Lancashire peeler, skinned the pumpkin and lightly etched out the design.
3) Carved deeper lines with a chopstick (yes, a chopstick) to start detailing the image.
4) Still using just the chopstick...4) Gave the image depth using the Lancashire peeler and measuring spoons.
5) More detailing.. You can't really tell from this picture, but I carved out individual toes and fingers... Then the Lancashire peeler slipped and I cut off half his hand.6) Same as above, but lit up.7) With the lights off and pumpkin lit up, fine tuned the design and added some edging.

Hello Sunshine!

Walked into work today after lunch. It's grey and ugly outside. Co-worker said I came in beaming, had a hop in my step.

I suppose I do at the moment.

Its time to dance, its time to sing, sing a happy song...

(The eighties was such an embarrassing era :P)

Protect Your Children From the Dangers of Playing Tag!

wtf

Officials at the Willett Elementary School in Attleboro have banned playground tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chasing games over concerns about the risk of injury and liability for the school.

Seriously. Duck, duck, goose is a chasing game. Same as Go, go, go, stop. Are those to be banned as well?

Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.

Seriously. WTF?

They're children. Not babies.

I would go off on a rant of over coddling and protection of children, suppressing growth and development in their formative years, but instead I'll go off on a rant about love.

You don't over coddle or over protect out of love. Love, in my books, has its roots in a feelings of respect... you know what? I don't feel like typing out this rant either.

I'm tired. And I don't feel like figuring out a way to relate it so that the last sentence reads: I had respect for you.

*yawn*

After today, it'll all be better, right?

Did I read too much into it?

Went to the Body Worlds exhibit at Science World on Sunday. First, a word of advice. If you’re to attend this exhibit, go during work/school hours or during the evening shows after 6pm on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Second tip, if you don’t go during the above-mentioned times, get ready to line up and crowd up. Third tip, bring a sketch book. Very cool anatomical modeling practice.

I hear there’s been significant controversy over this subject, but provided all donor bodies were given willingly and with insight of what may happen to them, I see no problem with it. The sculpture was of a male body, balancing on three balls, one under each leg, one under the left hand as if in the midst of performing an acrobatic circus trick. In his outstretched right hand, he was proudly displaying his innards above his head for all to see.

What struck me was a commentary on how this body was on display and being exploited purely for the amusement of an oblivious audience.

I commented on it at the time, my friend just chuckled. I don’t think she really heard me.

Infernal Affairs III

"After tomorrow, it will all be better."

I thought that was such a stupid line in the movie. The first movie, which detailed the middle part of the story, was the best part.

[hidden] ooh... parallels and analogies [/hidden]

Where do we fit in?

Had a conversation about the nature of friendship the other day. Got me thinking. Killed some time at work today throwing together this list.

[hidden] Remember, it's all about perspective. [/hidden]

The Sometimes Cookie
They're not just acquantances, they're friends. You may even call each other good friends. But you only see them once in a blue moon. You'll talk, you'll hang for a couple days, maybe keep touch for week or two... then they'll disappear from your life again. And yet that's fine. It's how your relationship works. They're yummy cookie treats and you're the new, reformed Cookie Monster. These friends are a sometimes cookie.

The Water Strider
You party together, you chill, you see each other pretty often. But there's no real depth to it. You may share knowledge of certain friends-only details: breakups, hookups, sports teams and college courses. But you're not going to cry in front of them. You're not going to tell them about being physically abused by your uncle as a child. You're not going to tell them about the sexual harassment and or the blackmail you're experiencing at work. Instead, you'll go have a fun time with them to forget all that. Or chill with them between work or classes just to kill time and have some superficial fun. Water Striders are creatures that can freely walk on the surface of water, but never getting the know the water's true depths.

The Emotional Crutch
When you're feeling down, when you complain about the latest guy or girl you're involved with. When you complain about trials at work and with family. These are the people you turn to. And this is really the ONLY time you turn to them. These friends are emotional crutches, to be brought out of storage only when you really need them, plus every now and then for routine maintenance (birthdays, etc).

The Faerie Tale
You feel you can tell them anything and everything, there's no need to hold back, no need to justify, no need to hesitate in any way.

The Appendix
Nobody really knows how or why you became friends. They're just there. And nobody cares enough to really do anything about it, unless for some reason (s)he starts to fester and enflame to the point where you should cut them out of your life.

The Common Dictionary
You work with them, you study with them. They're basically a living reference book. The dictionary always gets poor placement on the bookshelf, hidden behind the encyclopedias and choice novels. The common dictionary may get more usage than the exotic language translation dictionaries, but they're not nearly as exciting. Nobody says, 'ooh, you have a dictionary' But they may say 'ooh, you have a czech-english dictionary, have you ever been?' The Common Dictionary friend serves a purely utilitarian purpose at school or at work. They never get a second glance when not needed.

I'm so out of the I-Bop-Mizzle loop

When you have to hear about events your company is hosting from people working in competing firms...

Something in the process has gone wrong.

This conversation makes no sense and ends abruptly (c)

You shouldn't have to try, it should just come naturally.

Bullshit.

You shouldn't have to force things. It's like trying to hold on to a bar of soap; the tighter you squeeze the more likely it'll slip from your grasp... or distort to some deformed gobledigook.

Not trying and not forcing things is two completely separate issues.

If it doesn't come about naturally, then it's not meant to be.

What, like how electricity, modern medicine, and unearthing ancient fossils 'naturally' came about without anybody trying?

That's different...

That's right. It IS different. Those things were discovered. It wasn't something fake or manufactured that somebody tried to force feed to an unreceptive audience. It was real.

I don't really see where you're going with this...

All these things were there all along, lurking under the surface, even if nobody realized it. Just waiting to be discovered, waiting to be tapped, waiting to be released. But before any of that could happen, certain people needed to try.

This isn't something you can try to apply your logic to. When it concerns the heart, it's irrational, by it's very definition defying logic. Logic doesn't work.

Then why are you trying to put logic to it by attaching a rule that, "If it doesn't come about naturally, then it's not meant to be"? THAT is trying to make sense of it, as well. THAT is trying to apply logic to the situation. And if what you say is true, logic doesn't work.

You're twisting my words...

Well... you're twisting my heart...

That's not what I'm trying to do...

Some things happen without trying, it just happens naturally.

. . .

Which is why, sometimes, you really do need to try.

Because if you don't, you can unintentionally allow things to happen that you don't want to happen.

And you can also miss out great things... miss uncovering something amazing that maybe you weren't even sure was there in the first place.

...and have you been trying?

Moving on...

... up into a Yaletown condo.

While emptying out my room at the 'rents, I came across some old keepsakes that survived the shoebox fire.

Clicky-dee-clickity-click.

--
Now for more of that ambiguously worded deliberation.

"Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." -- Thomas Edison

I've been restless; I've been discontent. I'm not sure it leads to progress.

“If we resist our passions, it is more through their weakness than from our strength”
-- François de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

What is my passion? I'm sure I've tried to answer this question before.

--

Looking back: Sept 14.

Who knew that would happen? Quiet you, put your hand down.

Textured patterns.

ob·ses·sion
n.

1. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

--

Unwanted? The very opposite actually.
Unreasonable? Depends. It's only ~$200 / square foot... times 48 square feet...

Tarnation!

On the edge of a pseudo-epiphany?

Maybe not.
[hidden] I've lost it. How did that happen? Leads one to wonder if you ever had it or if it was just fallout from a gigantic ego. [/hidden]

What would I look like if I were...

faces_horizontal, originally uploaded by Bruce Nguyen.

Top row: Caucasian // West Asian // Afro Carribean // Female // Drunk
Middle row: Baby // Child // Original (East Asian, Young Adult) // Teenager // Older Adult
Bottom row: Drawn by Modigliani // Drawn by Botticelli // Drawn by El Greco // Anime style // Ape-man

--

I don't think I look too keen as a Black guy, but White, Brown, or Oriental? Damn, I'm sexy! ;)

Upload a photo to Perception Laboratory's Face Transformer and see how you might look if you were another race, another species, another gender, etc.

The un-doctored image is centre. Click on the image above to view my Flickr page where each individual transformation is described.

If you have a Flickr account, you can also log in to view larger and more detailed versions of the above picture (click on the "All Sizes" button for this picture after you log in.) The full size original version is 1500 x 1200.

Or you can click here for a larger not quite so huge version of the picture.

Thanks Kare, for posting the Face Transformer so I could steal it from you.

Curse of my heritage

So late in the afternoon I find out the Practice Lead for Western Canada for my division is in town today but is leaving on a plane at 7pm. Naturally I somehow navigate my way into grabbing a quick bite to eat with him before he has to leave town.

Get offered a beer.

I accept.

Bruce + Beer + no Pepcid AC on hand + working meal = Well... fuck!

Stupid Asian flush.

Annoyed; figured out why.

An epiphany woke me at 5am.

As I madly tried to transcribe it, the torrential blast of words I so clearly pictured in my mind poured out of me quicker than I could keep up with. As the clouds of conviction dissipated, all I was left with was a haphazardly collected pool of half-finished thoughts and roughly worded concepts.

Something about socially constructed gender roles, incongruency of actions and thought, and idealistic but obviously misguided justifications and interpretations.

While the entire stream of thought that flowed to this conclusion is incomprehensibly lost now, I do have the end result clear in mind. And maybe, that's the most important part.
[hidden]
The root of this annoyance ball that's found haven inside me this last week?
It's not you, it's me.
Seriously.
And the part that annoys me the most? It's that I'm seriously considering not doing anything about it
[/hidden]
There are few people in the world that can irritate me more than myself.

It's not gonna happen... Get over it!

No matter how much I want it to happen... and I do want it to happen, I really do... it's not.

I think I'm just going to have to come to terms with it. It's been on my mind for months now... I'll discuss it with people and while some have chimed in with rounds of, "Go for it! Take the risk!"... I can't. I won't.

Not again.

Whenever I get close to making up my mind and taking that leap, all of a sudden I'll be infected with a form of Blue Car Syndrome. I'll start to notice guys all around me that seem to have made the exact same choice that I'm considering... Seeing their results convinces me that following though with this choice would be mistake.

A huge mistake.

Stupid Asian genes.

Why can't I grow a nice looking goatee?
[hidden] Bet you thought I was going to take a different route didn't you? Well, being predictable was never a talent of mine that I liked to indulge. [/hidden]