Don't sweat it dude, we'll all be dead by then.

I'm pretty sure we just rebuilt the Y2K bug.

Aww... look how cute he is!

Damn it all to hell!

!msinummoC

Had dinner with the parents.

Finally found out the true story of why my Dad's brother and sisters are spread around the world instead of all immigrating to the same country. Lo and behold, the story isn't the same one my father tells over a few beers.

This version of the story involves communism!

Speaking of which, as I get a lift home from my mom, we hit a break in the conversation between small singing fluffy dogs and the hazards of peeing outdoors in the frozen Canadian wasteland. Mom speaks up to fill the dead air.

"So how's [Korean girl] these days?"

I could barely hold back my laughter.

Merde

Yeah, probably shouldn't have done that.

--

You know that person you just can't stand?

That person whose very mention makes you wistfully imagine jamming a chopstick in their ear, a fork in their eye, and a straw up their nose, then serving their decaying carcass to a dirty hobo who then takes a massive dump, and then flies eat up the massive piece of crap version of said person, and then I swat the fly dead with extreme prejudice?

Yeah, that's you L.

2008 World Telekinesis Competition @ Victoria, BC, Canada

Who wants to form a team?


via videosift.com

From: http://www.noxioussector.net/wtc/call.html

THE WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITION

THE WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITION is an openly invitational project that will organize participating teams in a competitive manner to remotely influence the behavior of a candle. Teams are not geographically bound, but are required to formalize their participation based on conformity to the guidelines of the competition.

COMPETITION STRUCTURE

The 2008 WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITON will follow basic competitive rules for multi-team events. Based on an assessment of the number of participating teams, a preliminary competitive structure will be randomly determined, in which 2 teams will compete to psychically influence the behavior of a remotely-located game candle. The winning team will advance to the subsequent round while the losing team will be eliminated. This competition structure will continue until only one team is remaining. This team will be crowned the winner of the 2008 World Telekinesis Competition.

PARTICIPATION

In order to qualify for participation, teams must satisfy the following criteria:

1. Teams must be comprised of three (3) individuals.
2. Teams must compose or design or appropriate a team logo for inclusion in the 2008 WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITION competition schedule.
3. Each team member must provide a personal photograph and biographical statement for inclusion in the 2008 WORLD TELEKINESIS COMPETITION competition schedule.
4. Teams must agree to abide by the rules of the competition, as articulated at the following URL: noxioussector.net/wtc/rules.html

SUBMISSIONS

In order to qualify for competition, teams must submit the following:

1. A statement of interest and/or method addressing the concept of telekinetic competition;
2. A list of the three (3) members who comprise the team, as well as a concise (max 200 words) biographical statement for each team member;
3. A web-resolution (max 2MB) image of each team member;
4. A team name and an associated team logo for inclusion in the competition schedule and related publicity material;
5. A statement of availability for competition -- articulating weekend availability between April 1st and May 30th, 2008.

Also, relevant is the following:



(It's an infamous River to Jayne Firefly quote, you luddites!)

New Years Resolution

Keep doin' what I'm doin'

40% of Japanese men sit down to pee, survey shows

Double You Tee Eff?

The survey ... showed that the younger the man, the more likely he is to sit down while peeing instead of the traditional method of standing up.

...

"Women hate it when urine sprays, so there appears to be an increasing number who are asking men to sit down on the toilet when they have to go," a Matsushita Electric Works spokesman said.

...

Matsushita believes mothers getting their young children to sit on the toilet when they urinate are also getting their partners to adopt the same practice.

Japanese guys are so whipped. Be a man and STAND proud!

Although I will say this: Gentlemen, let's be civilized. If aiming fails, have the courtesy to wipe off that seat.

Unless at a public washroom, that is.

In which case it is your manly DUTY to piss all over the toilet seat. It's a reminding note to the rest of the brotherhood to not ever touch the toilet seat of a public washroom.

That shit's just nasty, yo.

Me likely!

I is getting me a Smokey Amp

Smokey Amp Demo

The Machine Girl. Great Movie? Or GREATEST Movie?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSpCWJnnWVI

Worth Watching - Dec 10: Next Year's Cult Hit - The Machine Girl

Stars Concert... addendum

Change? Shit.

I guess change is good for any of us

Whatever it take for any of y'all niggaz to get up out the hood

Shit, I'm wit cha, I ain't mad at cha

Got nuttin but love for ya, do your thing girl
< /2pac >

Stars Concert

• Commodore Ballroom, 2007.11.20
  
  
• Stars are amazing.
  
  
• Started a Stars chant and they came out for a 2nd encore. Woo!
  
  
• Amy Milan pointed and waved at some dude next to me as they had met on the road the week before.
  
  He started screaming like a little girl.
  
  I was secretly jealous :P
  
  
• The opening act was actually pretty cool. Still trying to remember what their name is. They're another band out of Montreal, similar musical style to Stars but with more percussion. Which is understandable since they had two percussionists.
  
  I'm also a percussion freak, so it's understandable why I liked them.
  
  
• Stars ended up playing a secret free show at the Media club on Sunday. I found out as I walked by and had to make a quick decision whether or not to hop in the line and cancel on my parents.
  
  I'm such a good son.
  
  
• West Van is more a Friday night thing than Saturday night.
  

Stars
Photo Originally uploaded by
melissa_sucks

Code Red, Code Red!

[Ring, ring]

B: Hello?

H: Yo B, we're heading out tonight. L needs our help.

B: Again?

H: He's in rough shape man...

B: Just take him to the No. 5, problem solved.

H: Not this time man... he's listening to Air Supply.

B: Shit.

Clarification... kinda

s_t_r_a_w_b_e_r_r_y says (8:27 PM):

eeeew
bruce!

Bruce says (8:35 PM):

metaphors, honey. metaphors

get a bunch of corporate executive suits together and they start jerking each other off trying to impress one another

ultimately people end up trying too hard, becoming giant pricks who don't know how to use their head properly

so you just try to go along with it, hoping it gets better

s_t_r_a_w_b_e_r_r_y says (8:37 PM):

u fake it?!!

Bruce says (8:37 PM):

*shrug*

How to: Group Masterbation

• Step one:
  Everybody sit in a circle.
  
  
• Step two:
  Look to the person at your right.
  
  
• Step three:
  Jerk them off.
  
  Fellows, take note if it's a lady to your right:
  
  The clit?
  
  [Perform peace sign + tongue demonstration]
  
  It's up here.

I loathe corporate practice-wide meetings.

I Know It's Romanticized, But Still...

Before I joined The Big Machine, I did some work for a small consulting group in New Westminster. A lot of our clients were start-ups.

I remember visiting grungy home offices with distinctly persistent smells. One, vanilla incense. Another, curry.

I remember smelly dogs leaping onto my freshly ironed shirts. Except for Sasha. She was rehabilitated from the SPCA and had some issues, but eventually she'd follow me around, tail wagging.

I remember the agony we'd live through trying to find funding. The nighttimes would end up at some random bar, us either staring deep into the bottom of our pints or raising them high in cheer.

But most of all, I remember the smiles.

The smiles of passion when somebody would talk about their dream. Whether revitalising the Vancouver bar scene with East Coast ideas or starting a new West Coast comedy festival to rival Montreal's Just For Laughs.

The smiles of amazement as things take a turn for the better. When after setback after setback, you get that first bit of funding to build that revolutionary water filtering prototype.

The smiles of non-regret when you know you've tried your all. And even though your all may not have worked out as planned, it was one hell of a ride.

Sometimes, I miss those smiles.

They were genuine.

Fourteen Forthcoming Thank You's

Seemingly predestined events led to me meeting up with Fourteen today.

We spent a couple hours chapter raiding and japadog hunting before she had to hop on her flight out.

I suppose it went better than expected, although I didn't really know what to expect. Certainly didn't expect to hear that she's getting married.

It's funny how one person's actions can shape your mindset for years to come without you realising or acknowledging it it.

Once you do realise and acknowledge it, what do you do from there?

Giving Thanks is one option. Really, there's no more appropriate time of year than now.

Faith

Ever notice that the only people that panic about a situation are the people that feel they have no control over the situation?

Seriously, calm the fuck down. I've got it covered.

Trust in the Bruce.

One, Two, Four!

faith
n.

i·ro·ny
n. pl. i·ro·nies

al·ley
n. pl. al·leys

un·der·stand

v. un·der·stood, un·der·stand·ing, un·der·stands

v.tr.

ja·lop·y
n. pl. ja·lop·ies Informal


nose
n.

Over, Under, Around, and Through

Ever wonder why most every* metaphor has to deal with sex? How you can imbue the most innocent phrase or gesture with erotic overtones? Err, undertones... overtones?

Overtone: An ulterior, usually implicit meaning or quality; an implication or a hint
Undertone: An underlying or implied tendency or meaning; an undercurrent

Over or under? I suppose I could swing either way...

Err, I mean my head is just so confused...

Shit, I mean...

Stupid tones, I'm like totally not gay.

*Yes, I still like to be redundant in speech

Hahahahahahaha

shazbot : (